I have just found out my 14 year old daughter is pregnant?

Question

She is a very petite girl and a couple of months ago I noticed her getting a tummy I just thought maybe her age she was just getting a little bigger. But I did ask if she was having a period and she said yes. Well just this past weekend I finally got out of her that she hasn't had a period since November. We talked and she has opened up to me alot. I am the type of parent that talked to her about sex and the precautions and if she ever felt the urge we would discuss protection options. However, this was her first time and she told the boy no that she didn't want to and he persisted and said it was okay so she went ahead with it. She swears to me that this was her first time and we are being very supportive. I just need support and she needs support. We are open to all options. My mother gave up a baby at 15 and regretted it,we since found our sister at the age of 30 and when she found out that my daughter is pregnant she told me not to put it up for adoption

Answer 1

You sound like a great mom. I'm so glad to hear that you are supporting her. I would say, if you are gonna be present during this child's life and you don't really have an guff about it, keep the child. You don't want her or yourself to regret anything. Yes, it's never easy, but think how much of a joy this child will bring. I think you should keep it and work with your daughter in protecting herself in the future and make sure you help her as much as possible!!

Answer 2

this is something that you and your daughter need to talk about, and decide what you guys want to do. you have 3 options in this case. If you guys decide you dont want to keep this baby and raise it, adoption is a wonderful choice. I gave up a daughter for adoption when i was 18, and she is now a beautiful, happy, 10 yr. old with parents who love her dearly. There are many people out there who want a child more than anything, and for some reason cant have one. There are open adoptions (where you communicate with the adoptive parents through phone, email, pictures, etc, and in some cases even visits) and closed adoption (where there is no contact after the adoption.)
I do sympathize with you, as i know this is hard for you. I have a 12 year old daughter, and i can only imagine if i would be in your shoes in a few years. i know also that having a supportive mom really helps alot!!!!!!! so just be there for her, talk to her about all her options, and decide what in the end is right for you guys.
also, if a girl says no, it's no!! if that boy forced her into having sex after she said no, that is rape! you should seriously think about pressing charges.
good luck to you with everything. =)

Answer 3

That is great you are being so supportive, but what else can you do? Abortion should not be an option and after all you have been through adoption isn't either. Easier said than done, but I would take it one day at a time. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, you have to do what is best for your family right now. It will be tough but that baby will bring all of you closer. I have a 5 month old, I am not married (we've been together for 5 years) and it was even hard for me to break the news to my parents and I am 35. My family is so much closer now. Just make sure she finishes school and gets on the pill as soon as she can after giving birth. Good luck.

Answer 4

Listen I don't know your family situation but I have a 21 year old daughter (No kids of her own as of yet) and also a 31/2 daughter I am 45 years old and married boy I do LOVE children with all my heart after my 1st daughter the doctors told my husband and myself that we could not have anymore children I was very sad when I was told that I was pregnant with my baby I was in shock for a week thinking that I had to start my life all over again but when I held my baby in my arms when she was born this changed my out look on life completely I am so BLESSED and HAPPY so happy that my dream is to own a child care business so that I can be surrounded by children they are the love of my life think really hard before you do something you ALL my regret later in life remember children are our future if you need a friend I am here for you and MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!! GOOD LUCK and also you are not to blame for your daughter getting pregnant you can not be with her 24 hours a day and when somebody wants to do something they will find the time etc. That's just how life is. Please think of those little darling angels. Also how does your daughter and husband feel about you wanting to put the babies up for adoption? Please Please take care and the best of luck to you. Let me know what the out come is please.

Answer 5

If you are willing to support your daughter in this time of need, why not keep the baby & help her raise the child until she can graduate highschool. Or another thing I suggest is pray, pray & pray some more. God can help guide you if you ask for it & listen for the answer. It will be hard on your daughter of course & hard on you as a grandparent. What is it that your daughter is wanting to do with the baby? What are you wanting to do with the baby? Abortion is always an option but may not be something that she would want to do. There are open adoptions to where your daughter can still be apart of the childs life. This is a tough decision & I wish I could make it easier for you. Good luck

Answer 6

A baby is a blessing no matter how it comes into the world remember that. Your daughter made a very grown up decision in having sex as well as not to use protection. Get her some medical attention and make a plan. You raised her be prepared to raise this one too because at her age there is not much that she can do for herself. Make sure not to do everything for her she has to grow up now she needs to finish school though and you will have to help her accomplish this. One of my good friends just went through the same thing and she has survived and is very happy with her new grandbaby her daughter is not doing what she should and is now at a point where she is going to adopt the baby and have her daughter removed from the home( yes this is a severe situation) Just be strong your daughter is still your child and your job is to provide her with what she needs and as unfair as it may seem she is going to need you to be a mother to her child as well untill she is old enough to be able to physically, mentally and financially support this child herself. I wish you the best of luck. OH YEAH GET THAT GIRL SOME BIRTHCONTROL AS SOON AS SHE DELIVERS!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Well I have NEVER believed in abortion so please don't go there as some have suggested. I do not believe in giving up the baby for adoption unless yall kicked her out, she had no where to go and there was no way at all she could care for the baby. I suggest that she keep the baby, if you and your husband are behind her 100% then she has no worries. Just be there for her when she needs you but make sure she handles her responsibilities when the time comes.

I wish more parents were like you, when I thought I might be pregnant at 15 my dad told me if I was then he didn't want anything else to do with me, he was disowning me. Now I am 27 and have three kids, how could you do or say something like that to your child. Just please be there for her and help her out as much as you can but don't help out to much, let her be the mom..

She had sex, got pregnant and is going to have a baby now, with or without the father in the picture, she needs to take care of her responsibilities, if she didn't want the chance of having a baby then she shouldn't of had sex at such a young age.

I commend you and your husband for doing the right thing by your daughter and I really really hope that you do not let her give the baby up.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have two responsible choices.
1) Give the baby up for adoption
2)You raise the child (while keeping your daughter on a tight leash)

You can't really expect to have your daughter raise the baby. At 14 she is way to young to make it. If you have her raise the baby, she would completely miss a very important part of growing up and it would probably be the beggining of an ugly cycle with the baby being the one who suffers the most. If you raise the baby, it should be you being the parent. You make the decisions, you discipline, etc as if he/she is your child. Now, while doing this you should have high expectations of your daughter. She should know that you want her to experience the rest of her childhood, but you expect a lot from her. She has had had her big "goof" and now she will follow all rules, make good grades, try for college scholarships, and of course, help in every possible way at home.

Answer 9

Hi. I've been in the same situation except I'm on the other side. I'm 18 and when my mom found out actually the same way...she was very upset. I just want to say that everything is going to be ok. It will be hard because she is 14 but I have known friends that were able to do it. I promise that everything will fall into place as it did for me. Research everything, call everyone and you will find out information you never knew existed. WIC- for low income to get vouchers for formula and baby food. MedicAid- I am on my moms health insurance but because it is maternity it does not cover it. MedicAid will cover the prenatal appointments and the delivery. There may be a state agency where you can get help there too. There is also ChildCare Assisstance. If she goes to school for 25hrs./more a week she can get it. I wish y'all the best of luck if you need websites or have any questions I would love to help as other people have for my situation. I wish y'all the best of luck. Here is my e-mail. [e-mail]

Answer 10

well I was 14 when i got Pregnant and had my Son when I was 15.My Mom and Dad was Shocked.But they did get over it and supported me all the way.I gave Birth to a 6 pound Gorgeous baby Boy who is 21 now and one of the Greatest gifts from God.Remember the baby is not a mistake as many people tried to tell me But it is a surprise.Me there for her,talk to her and love her.Please remember even though shes very young this has to be her decision wether to have and raise they Baby or give it up for adoption there is open adoption now where she could actually still be in contact with the child.Abortion is out for me,It is Murder in my and Gods opinion.She is going to need a friend because as I know kids at her school are going to be meen and crude to her.She does need to go see a Dr ASAP to make sure all is well with her and the baby.Please feel free to email me.I know what she is going through.Good Luck and stay strong.

Answer 11

Don't fret mom, you're not alone. The decision to keep the baby is up to both of you, since she's still in your care and under 18. Come to a mutual decision and go with that, first off. If you feel she'll regret it for the rest of her life, giving the baby up for adoption probably isn't the best idea. Make sure though, that your heart is in it to help raise another baby.

I'd suggest signing her up for parenting and childbirth classes, getting her ready mentally for the years to come. She'll definitely have to make some sacrifices if she's to keep the baby too. This isn't your child and you need to make her understand that.

You're already being supportive, and you're doing a good job from what I can tell.

Hope that helps.