i really love this guy please give me some ideas on how i can get him back he is very upset because i yelled at the baby.
2007-04-26 06:57:17 · 35 answers · asked by lilblonde_bombshell15 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all yelling at a little baby is harsh, second of all, this isnt all about you. Its about the baby. Maybe you should concentrate on that b4 you worry about weather or not you are going to get back with a boy.
2007-04-26 07:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jill knows best 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
your problem isn't about getting him back. You need to adjust to having a child. That may take some time but you have to do it. If he got upset because you yelled at the baby than he is at least putting the baby's feelings first. Unless he is the father, you really shouldn't be focused on a boyfriend and more on being a mom. He, like all men, will come and go but that child is yours forever.
If you really love him tell him that you are overwhelmed with being a mom and that you need to focus on you right now. That baby will suffer if you don't and then you will suffer and he still may leave. where does that leave you?. Alone with a child that resents you. If he feels the same way about you then he will understand. and give you some space and time and even a listening ear.
Also remember, no man is worth losing your child. You are . You have plenty of time for guys..Not to be smart, but that's what got you pregnant in the first place,. don't let yourself fall for the same thing twice.
Love is a patient thing
2007-04-26 07:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by route502 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't yell at the baby but you're so very young to be parenting, it's understandable.
Breaking up with you is not the solution. Supporting your parenting is the solution.
Take some parenting classes. Seriously... Teen Parenting classes. If you don't know where some are offered, try the local hospital, community services board, social services office or cooperative extension office in your area. Ask your parents to help you.
You need support and sleep. You have a big plate full right now and I wouldn't be focusing on the boyfriend. If learning to be a better parent helps you to get him back, fine. Otherwise... put your priorities in order and just work on the parenting.
The baby depends on you entirely. She didn't ask to be born and she's too little to take your frustrations out on. It's better to walk OUT of the room than to yell at her or allow yourself to become more frustrated. I know it's hard to do, but take a deep breath... and if you can't handle her without feeling angry, then don't touch her. Seriously... do not pick her up. Child abuse happens with young frustrated sleep deprived mothers more often than you'd think. It's accidental... "I couldn't stand it... she kept screaming and I just shook her a little to try to get her to stop...."
If you find yourself feeling angry, walk away. Count to 10. Count to 20. Set a timer and wait two minutes or until you feel calm and in control. Splash cold water on your face. Put a picture of her sleeping or smiling over the crib so you can remember what she looks like happy and calm when all you can see is her bawling little face all scrunched up expecting you to fix something.
Most importantly, be honest with your parents and tell them how frustrated you became. Tell them you know you need help and see if they have any other suggestions. I'm a mother of a teenaged daughter and I can tell you that if I had the choice of leaving her to handle a screaming infant all night long and risking the baby being injured or doing some rocking myself... I'd be parked in a chair holding that baby all night.
Yes, you screwed up. Yes, your parents are probably way disappointed. But... you're still their child and if you're honest about being overwhelmed, they may step in and help you.
By the way... the butthead boyfriend will never know what it's like to be up all night with an infant if he never has to do it. Consider letting him keep the baby all night if you're not breastfeeding so you can get some sleep. If you ARE breastfeeding, then consider asking your parents if he can spend the night in the baby's room while you sleep somewhere else in the house and that he'll only disturb you at feeding time. I would think that it would be a lesson they'd love to teach him given the opportunity.
This baby is not just YOUR responsibility. Don't let him put it all on you and then judge you for not being perfect at it. Fifteen is so very young... forgive yourself and then get moving in the right direction so you can give your daughter the best mom and the best life possible under some very difficult circumstances.
My best to you...
2007-04-26 07:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You must be having a really hard time right now. I think you should try to focus on you and the baby and not worry about having a boyfriend at this moment. If he is the father of the baby then he should definelty have relationship with the child, but you two are way too young to be dealing with a baby, school, and a relationship, you are going to wear yourself out and then you will resent your baby later. Are your parents helping you? Do you have a support system at all? I was 19 when I had my first child and it was not easy, but at 15 you have so many other things going on with your body. Please find someone to talk to. Good Luck
2007-04-26 07:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by Purple_passion2805 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie it is time to grow up, for real, your question should not be about the guy, rather how can you learn to deal with being a new mom, yelling at a baby is not acceptable. I'm sure you know by now that you made a mistake having the baby that young cuz now you can't even have a quite date! and don't get me wrong I had a baby at 16 so I know how it can get frustarting, but you need to get your priorities straight! as for your question about the dude, he can see how immature you were being and that was unattractive to him, a real mom would have just took care of her baby and either cut the date short or made him wait for you to get the baby back to sleep, now that your a mom put your child 1st it did not ask to be here you put that baby here. and baby's can feel when they mother is rejecting them, best advise i can give you , get a babysitter and think about your kids 1st! tell the dude you were just frustarted your sorry and it was immature, (and you need to change your ways), if he cares he'll forgive you
2007-04-26 07:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Rosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Well you shouldn't even have a baby, you are still a kid yourself.*
-Also you need to seek parenting classes if you are yelling at your child. You obviously have no control over your emotions, and you aren't ready to be a parent. That is part of the baggage you get when you have a kid, and that is something you should have thought about before you laid down and had sex.
*I have no sympathy for you. Sorry but I don't.
.I am not going to give you advice on how to get your boyfriend back because you were an idiot and chased him b/c you can't contain yourself when your baby cries.
~That's your own damn fault, and you have a kid now. So take responsibility for your actions and GROW UP. That's all you can do now. Good luck and quit spending ALL of our tax dollars....and stop having kids. Close your legs. And go back to school and re-take SEX ED.
2007-04-26 07:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by Shut your mouth when u tlk to me 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't take your frustration out on the baby, it's just being a baby.
Focus on being a Mom, because you've got a ton of responsibility for someone your age.
Leave boys alone for a while and concentrate on you and your child...raise your child, finish your education, and in a few years you can think about boyfriends again...it was a boy who helped cause the baby, remember? Stay away from them for a while...
2007-04-26 07:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a few things you are missing here...the first is a support system...When you feel stressed by your baby please ask for help...and never ever yell at your baby, or shake them. If you need a time out, just walk away, count to ten and go back. Try a soothing song and before long she will stop crying. Babies pick up on anxious or upset feelings and will react to them.
As far as the boyfriend, stop thinking about him and worry about you and your baby.
2007-04-26 07:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Is he the father of the baby? If the father is not in the baby's life, I would ask the boyfreind if he would be willing to become the Daddy. If so, ask him to help you to become more patient. Just Be HONEST about yourself to him. Tell him you know you need to be more calm and patient and that you're scared cause you are a very young mother. I'm sure you get scared sometimes cause I was a young mother too at one time! Now I am married to my children's father. He will probably understand and try to help. I f not, he aint woth having around anyway! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
2007-04-26 07:04:14 · answer #9 · answered by drews7 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should concentrate on your baby. Maybe if you were doing that you wouldn't haven't gotten so frustrated. You can try to sit down and explain all of this to him, but the fact that he's not in your position, means that he probably won't understand no matter what you do. You are in a very difficult spot already, best to not complicate either of your lives anymore than you have to, and by either I mean you and your child. Your child comes first.
2007-04-26 07:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Elvira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋