2007-04-26 06:25:22 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Politics
What do you get when you have 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in one room?? 100 people that don't do d*ck :)
plenty of jokes on this site.. no one from any party is spared.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokes.htm
2007-04-26 06:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by pip 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Joe Lieberman, Dennis Kucinich, and a Boy Scout are all on a plane flying to a rally.
The plane develops mechanical problems.
The pilot comes back to the cabin and announces, "Folks, this plane is going down. We've only got three parachutes, and one of them is mine. CYA!"...and jumps out the hatch.
Dennis Kucinich, trembling, declares "Who will lead the charge to impeach the war criminal Cheney if I die? I am the smartest, hardest working Progressive on the planet, and gosh darn it, people like me!". He lunges for a pack and jumps out of the plane.
Joe looks at the Boy Scout and says, "Son, I've lived a full life. You have only begun yours, and it is right and proper that you should take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane"
The Boy Scout, confused, says "Why would you want to do that? We've got two parachutes here. The smartest Progressive on the planet just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack."
2007-04-26 13:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by A Balrog of Morgoth 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here's a little scenerio to help you decide!
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and your two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock 40-Cal. and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
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Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
What do the European courts say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
******************************************************************
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
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Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click.....
(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"
2007-04-26 13:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The president got off a helicopter at the White House and had two pigs under his arms. The Marine standing by the White House door asked the President about them. he said " These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got one for Nancy Pelosi and one for Hillary Clinton. " The marine looked at the president and said "Nice trade, Sir"
2007-04-26 13:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
The best political joke I know is that Bush was elected the second time based on tough talk that he now says he regrets.
2007-04-26 13:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bush Invented the Google 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Question: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: Four hundred and sixty-two:
Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb,
Twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,
Sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
Thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
Fifty-three to design a blockgrant so the states can change the bulb,
Forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead, and
two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet
option 2
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a) Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
b) None, they only screw the poor
2007-04-26 13:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by truth seeker 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
George Washington once said to his dad,
"How can I grow up to become president if I never tell a lie?"
There is only one way we can be guaranteed a 100% squeaky clean government
-legalize bribery
2007-04-26 13:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
the biggest political joke I can think of is GWB
2007-04-26 13:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by Alan S 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
GWB 2000
2007-04-26 13:30:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
what's the difference between a democrat riding a motorcycle and a vacuum cleaner?
with the vacuum, the dirt bag is on the inside.
2007-04-26 13:31:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 4⤋