My husband left me to deal with a newborn, and an 11 yr old full of attitude and a sick dog to go to work 3 hrs away. He was gone for weeks at a time, and when he came home all we did was fight. Well he finally came home for Christmas and decided to try and find work closer to home. But I'd ordered the computer before and when it came in I started chatting and made some really nice friends.One of these friendships has developped into something else..something deeper.I've fallen in love with him.Then in Feb my husband noticed that when I was chatting with this person my facial expression changed.. Needless to say we fought even more and then finally right before easter we nearly split up. I'm still in love with my husband and we have since then reconciled but I find that I'm still in love with this other man too. He is in another country and plans on moving to Canada within the next couple of years. I don't know what to do. My chatting with this man no longer bothers my husband...
2007-04-26 06:11:07 · 20 answers · asked by sunflowermomx2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At least once a day somebody posts a variation of this "Is it possible for me to be a complete idiot?" question.
2007-04-26 06:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think its very possible that you can be in love with two men at the same time. I think because of all the fighting with your husband, it lead you to find that comfort from another man. maybe you like the fact that this other guy is doing or saying all the things you like, and your husbands not doing any of that. I think you should try and work things out with your husband, cause for 1. you both have a baby together and for 2. you obviously still love him. you dont really know much about this guy except for what he tells you, and even so, how do you really know everything he tells you is real?
2007-04-26 16:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by luvleebabygurl22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do think it is possible. When your spouse spends long periods away from home, it often causes people to grow apart. The reality is, 'distance makes the heart grow fonder....for somebody else.' Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain at the best of times.
I think your choice does not lie with which man you will chose - I think it lies with where you want to be 5 years down the track.
Ask yourself....Are you content to live with a man who you argue with when he's around, but is away most of the time? Do you think things would improve with your husband if he were home more often? Do you think this other man merely filled a void or are you really in love with him?
Questions such as these need to be looked at closely, and hopefully things will become much clearer for you. I hope to have been of help, kind regards Penny xx
2007-04-27 05:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip on reality! You are involved in a virtual romance and that has nothing to do with reality in any way, shape, or form...You only know what this person wants you to know. It is very easy to pour your heart out at a keyboard....no embarrassment, no considerations for how it will be taken, no interaction with what you write. For all you know, the other end may be "manned" by a woman, a kid, a troll...whatever, you know NOTHING about them, period. And you want to trade what you have for this? If I were you, I would get a divorce ASAP. And please leave the custody to the ex husband. You are not grown up enough yet to know reality from imaginary. If you were to put 1 /10th the effort into your marriage as you have this imaginary friend, things might be different, they might not be. But it is obvious that you are very unhappy in your present state, so do something about the present state without any hope of realism on the other end of a computer. Good grief!
2007-04-26 13:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not possible to fall in love with two men. You might love certain things about either of them, but falling in love is for one person and one person only. If you fell in love with your husband, you wouldn't even think about looking at some other man.
If you could say you love some other guy when you have a husband, then it is not true love for either guys. That's when the cheating will soon begin and definitely end in divorce.
Have some respect for the word marriage Have respect for your husband, the vows you both made, the decisions you both made and the child you gave birth to. Maybe you should save the marriage and tell this other man to move on.
2007-04-26 13:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You needed attention and this person gave it to you,life is hard at times,marriages are an up and down thing,you just have to be grown up about it,take care of your children,put them first in all you do,get family counseling,if your husband is a good provider,a good man don't believe that there's a better man in virtual reality than him.9 out of 10 times the grass is not greener on the other side.It may even be worse.
2007-04-26 13:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time.
However, as a married woman, you are not the one who decides how you act on those feelings, your husband is. If you already know what he would say, then do what he would tell you. If you're not sure what he would say, tell him your feelings, and then whatever he says, that's what you do. If he tells you to follow your heart, well, whatever, but if he tells you to end all contact, then end all contact. Don't argue. It's not worth fighting over.
2007-04-26 14:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get marriage guidance counselling.
You and your husband have both done bad things.
I dont see how you can LOVE somebody who you have "chatted" to via the net. Thats a bit unrealistic, I'm afraid.
Neither relationship is ideal.
But in answer to the initial question, you could love two men -in REAL life. (not internet life)
2007-04-26 13:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by Siamese Triplets 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not my place to judge , you just sound lonely and have mistaken lust for love people do it all the time the bible says there are five kinds of love it can be a broad term seek the help of a pro. ; priest ,consular etc. a prayer on the subject wouldn't hurt either
2007-04-26 13:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you in love with your "computer" guy, or, just in "love" with the fact that someone pays attention to, give you what you want and tells you what you want to hear. Emotions are difficult to figure out. however, once you do figure out why your "in love" with both, it might help you decide what you want in life. As for your hubby, not minding you "chatting" any more....why? Why did it upset him before and now not? Did you ask him?
2007-04-26 13:19:20 · answer #10 · answered by shyann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a house, two children and a dog. Sounds to me like you have enough to keep you busy. Instead you are neglecting your family and finding excuses to "chat" on the Internet. You better realize what you have before it flies away.
2007-04-26 13:27:46 · answer #11 · answered by Dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋