torn between having an abortion?????????????????

Question

my period is always on time and sometimes it may come a day early or late, but this month its been 4 days late.... my bf had said that he wanted me to have his children but i wasn't ready and so we were using contraception (condoms)..when i told him my period was 4 days late then he said we're not ready to have babies cuz we have issues we need to work out, so he says i should get an abortion, but i don't want to.. i'm gonna take the pregnancy test today...i'm so hurt that he would want me to abort it....what should i do????????? ps i'm 27 and he's 38..none of us have any children..

Answer 1

you're jumping the gun,you havent found out if you are pregnant yet

Answer 2

Slow down!! You haven't even found out if you are pregnant yet. If and when you find out then you need to make plans. Worrying will only delay the onset of your period. You say you were using condoms, did one split? If not I don't see how you can be pregnant.

If you are, although it takes two people to make a baby, you will be the one experiencing and dealing with the pregnancy i.e the body/hormonal changes and all the emotional changes when you realise you are carrying a life. Never feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do as you will only go on to resent your bf. Your bf needs to realise that he was there too and quite happily laid down with you. At 38 he should know the outcome.

Do what you feel is right for you!! Plenty of women raise babies alone and I would say at 27 you are one of the few who are emotionally mature enough to do so!

Answer 3

First of all, I would find out for sure if you're pregnant. If you are, you and your boyfriend will have some tough decisions to make. Since you said that you don't want to get an abortion, I certainly don't think you should. Only you can make that decision for yourself, not your boyfriend.

Maybe he's just in shock that you actually may be pregnant and reacting irrationally, since he did want to have children before. Since his reason for not wanting a baby at the moment is that you have issues to work out, maybe you could suggest going to couples counseling to work out these issues. See if he's open to the suggestion.

But if he really doesn't want to be involved with the child, then you can't be involved with him. However, it's still his responsibility, as the father, to help you care for the baby, emotionally and financially. The possibility of you getting pregnant was a risk he was taking by having sex with you, and he needs to own up to that responsibility. He's 38 years old; he needs to act like an adult.

If you are pregnant, I wish you the best of luck. I wish you the best in your relationship, too. Hopefully, the two of you can work things out.

Answer 4

First things first, find out if you are! If you aren't then problem solved, but if you are the decision is your and only yours. It is your body you decide what go on with it. But remember you have other options as well.
1) You can keep the baby and see if he come around. (at 38 most likely that he will)
2) You can keep the baby and raise it on your own. (you are 27 you are mature enough to handle it)
3) You can have the baby and give up for adoption.
Remember that an abortion isn't your only option!!!

Answer 5

i say forget what ur boyfriend says. he should have known that there was still a chance that you could get pregnant. my sons father did the same thing to me when i first found out i was pregnant he told me he would pay or an abortion but i could never take a life. i refused and told him that either way im keeping this baby and if you dont like it than you can leave. eventually he got over it and realized that he had made a mistake especially after he heard the first heart beat and went to the first ultrasound. so i say if ur boyfriend is still firm on his decision then you should leave him. that's what i was going to do. but maybe he will come around. you never know he might just be really scared since it would be his first child. you guys need to sit down and talk about it. but i wouldnt have an abortion.

Answer 6

Hold your horses honey you don´t even know that you are pregnant yet, it might be stress!!! Go and get a blood test done at your doctor to be 100% sure, then you and our boyfriends can discuss the situation.

He can not force you to have an abortion and if you choose your boyfriend above your child you´re a very sad soul. You guys need to take responsibility for your actions, you guys are not teenagers anymore and know that sex (even on birth control) can lead to pregnancy.

I´m 22 and pregnant with my first ( was also on birth control ) and I was also not ready for it. I just got married in August and October found out I was pregnant, but you know what I take responsibility for my actions. And now it´s the most wonderful thing in the world and I will not change a thing....

If you both were teenagers I would see it differently but you are both adults start acting like it.....

Answer 7

This is not a decision you can make lightly. You need to talk it over with your bf. I used to be very pro abortion until I got pregnant accidentally and suffered a miscarriage. The whole thing was a traumatic nightmare & I couldn't imagine doing it voluntarily. I have gone on to have 2 lovely babies who wouldn't be here now if I hadn't had the accident. No one should bring kids into the world if they are not wanted but on the other hand, can you in all honesty destroy a life because it's not convenient at the moment. I think you have some serious issues to sort out.

Hope you manage to reach the best decision for all of you.

Take care. x

Answer 8

Before you start worrying, take the test. Don't even think about the "what ifs" until you get a positive pregnancy test. Now, if you don't want to have an abortion, you don't have to - he will have to support the child regardless of his opinion that you should get an abortion or not. So, don't let him pressure you into an abortion if you don't want one. Remember, you will be the one who has to live with the emotional decision for eternity.

Answer 9

Take a pregnancy test first of all. If you are pregnant and you want the baby, don't have an abortion just because he wants you to. It's your baby and something that you have to live with forever. The two of you don't have to agree, ultimately it's your body and if he doesn't want to be a father then he should have thought about that before getting you pregnant if you are. He doesn' t have to be involved, but he will have to pay child support. It's your decision and I wouldn't do something that you would regret. You obviously need to re-evaluate your relationship with this guy.

Answer 10

You need to do what is best for you. If you want a baby then have the baby if you are pregnant. You never know if you will ever get the chance again for as you get older it is more difficult to get pregnant. He sounds like he is just not ready to "be burdoned by a child". At 38 he may never be ready so you may have to be a single mom. Good Luck.

Answer 11

IF you are pregnant...

since you are having serious doubts about the abortion i would advise you to keep the baby .. nothing is worse than the angst you will feel if you abort the baby if you are not sur about it.

i dont know what that will mean for your r'ship. You MAY have to consider the prospect of bringing up the baby alone- and that will NOT be easy (bringing up babies is hard with TWO parents let alone ONE) . However my instincts tell me that your boyfriend is probably just a little nervous.

I have a friend who went thru this, she didnt have a steady boyfriend tho and she wasnt sure about having an abortion. She eventually went thru with it and spent the next 2 years in deep depression trying to kill herself etc.

Alternatively i know of one woman who is not maternal at all, she had an abortion and life went on as normal - she was not phased one bit.

Tough decision, but i think you know in your heart what you need to do.

Good luck