physically is less important to me, love comes from the mind to the heart to arousal...
he says he loves me and buys me pretty gifts for b-days and v-days, provides good financial support and helps with raising our son, but when it come to everyday he doesn't trigger a wave in my brain...
I hate to think that I need to get this satisfaction from friends or outside, but life feels so dull when there is no emotion, he used to be all over me when we met, so energetic and used to adore me and enjoy me like fine food, but now after 15 years of marriage and that is long gone I feel there is not much left if at least he can't excite my mind first.
I 've always felt that I need to be with a man of a higher intelligence level but I need to keep this marriage together for our son's sake.
Any advice? How do you cope with it?
2007-04-26 05:30:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What? You want a fairy tale romance? Get real my dear....the man is a good provider, gives you gifts on special occasions and helps raising your/his son. Yet you sound like you want a Harlequin Novel romance.
That just doesn't happen. Everything he's doing now is his way of showing you he loves you. You seem to be setting your sights on 'romance" and confusing it with love and security...which he is displaying.
So...dull life you say? Well...I'd suggest going out and despite what you say...go find that spot of romance to fill that empty void in your life. Actually, what you'll find is someone whose only interested in getting laid and you're idea of romance will not bear fruit.
However...if you get caught engaged in an affair...watch how the rest of this unromantic world you live in now evaporates. Once that happens..sorry..SHOULD that happen...you'll understand precisely what I'm telling you.
Life is a roll of the dice sometimes. Think you'll come up a winner? Only one way to find out.
2007-04-26 05:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're in a rut. The best way to get out of a rut is take the road less traveled. When was the last time the two of you took a class together or took a spur of the moment trip without your son? You just sound bored. After 15 years you've heard the same stories over, and over, again. You need to make some new memories. It isn't the end of your marriage. You just need to start something different.
2007-04-26 05:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by mediahoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel! Except that my husband spends money so excessively that we wind up getting behind on our bills! I have been married for 16 years and I am the one to do all the housework, work full-time, get 3 boys of 3 different schools up and out the door everyday and try to get to work on time! My husband seems to think that his boat is the most important creature on this earth. He seems to think that just because he is going to be deployed to Iraq later this year or early next year that he is entitled to enjoying every minute of free time with his boat. He also takes our neighbor kid with him and neglects to take his own sons half the time. I am getting the raw end of the deal here. I am left home to deal with all the troubles that arise while he's basking in the sun on his boat all day and night fishing!!!! I don't think he even knows me anymore. All I am asking for is some quality time to talk about a bunch of nothings that mean a lot of somethings! Just like yourself. I totally understand how you feel! Now why can't our husbands? It isn't that tough!
2007-04-28 15:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are men. The best example I can give you is, have you ever watched, "Bedazzled"? You know the sensitive guy! UGH!!!! It's right next door to a girlfriend with a penis! I think what you are desiring is intellectual stimulation which you can receive from your girlfriends, bookclubs, taking a course at your local college, find a new hobby,etc.
He can't be EVERYTHING to you. Just as you cannot be EVERYTHING to him. If he is a good provider, kind, compassionate, etc. you have much, much more than most women have!
Also, a therapist would suggest finding something you like to do together, to stimulate conversation etc.
2007-04-26 05:40:21 · answer #4 · answered by Hippie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a time to get his undivided attention, talk about it, tell him how your feeling, and see what you two can do about it, try thinking back to the first time you two met, how how and heavy you were with each other.. be upfront and blunt, honesty , challenge him to try new things that would trigger your brain waves.. discover new interests together, tell him you miss the companion thats conservational and emotional with him, ask him what his thoughts are.. go from there..
Hang in there, things will pick up!
2007-04-26 05:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by horsehealer09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like one hard to please, high maintenance woman. He's honest, faithful and thoughtful, but that's not enough for you? What are you doing for him? What are you doing for the two of you? Quit whining and invest that energy into your husband and marriage.
2007-04-26 06:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by FatElvis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a dildo
2007-04-26 05:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋