can you forgive your spouse for cheating?

Question

I love my husband very very much but I know he cheats, what should I do?

Answer 1

Once a cheater...always a cheater.
That's what they say, but it is not always true.
I have been the cheater (and the cheated). I think with marriage counseling, things can become better, and he can realize how much hurt he has caused, BUT only if he really wants to stop his behavior and do what it takes to fix the problem.
If he is willing to go, take that as a positive gesture on his behalf, and give it some time.
If after going to counseling (more than a few visits) you don't see any changes in him, maybe he was just doing the counseling to make you think he wanted to change, then it is probobly best to move on.
I'd say marriage is worth fighting for, so exhaust all other options before packing your bags.

Answer 2

No. I would not forgive him. Trust and love are very sacred things and clearly he doesn't have any respect for either. If you keep forgiving him how can you be comfortable every time he leaves the house? How can you trust that he is really going where he says he is? When you forgive someone for cheating, its too much work on the brain wondering " where is he really going"? or "where did he just come back from"? There is no way I would be comfortable remaining in a relationship and allowing this man to kiss and touch me, let alone make love to me, knowing full well that he has been with someone else. Its too many diseases out there and I would hope that you respect your self worth and your body more than to put up with that crap. Its not worth it, life is too short, and there IS a better man out there for you. Go get him!!

Answer 3

I know some people will be quick to tell you to leave and I know that its not that easy. Realistically and this will probably get boo's but I think you could really make it work if it happened once. Once is something you can forgive if you both work on it hard enough. But he has to know it was a mistake and truely be very sorry.
* But from the way you asked this and said "I know he cheats" lets us know it happened more than once and he probably knows you know and STILL does it. Those are not the actions of a man that loves you. If he loved you he would not repeatedly hurt you nor would he put your life in danger. Which is what he does each time he cheats. He is allowing himself to be open to the possibility of getting an STD and bringing it home to you, You sleep with EVERY person he does and he sleeps with EVERY PERSON those women have slept with and so on. He obviously doesnt have any respect for you or his word. He obviously vowed to be a loyal husband and he hasnt been.
I think you know in your heart that is true but it hurts to walk away. Just be strong and tell yourself that every second you stay with someone that cheats on you, you are killing a bit of your self. AND out there the people he is cheating with no he has no respect for you and you have none for yourself.
Good Luck and Be strong.

Answer 4

I don't think people forgive a cheating spouse, if you stay in the relationship. You just put it a side and try not to think of what he did. But it's better to confront it. If you don't you will just continue to build resentment towards a cheating spouse. And this resentment will later build up so much that it will end up causing major problems in your relationship. Confront him , but not until you have concrete evidence to prove his cheating. Because they always deny it. Then accuse you because you accuse them. Good luck.

Answer 5

Only you can make that decision. If he cheated once and really regrets it then you can probably work it out.
If he's a serial cheater then he will continue to cheat and you have to decide whether to put up with it or leave.
My first husband was a serial cheater and, no matter how much I loved him, in the end it destroyed our marriage.
Above all, you must do what makes you feel happy and healthy.
Good luck.

Answer 6

You say you know he cheats so I think it's more then once? You need to give a little more details here. Can you trust him? I could not be with someone who cheats, but not everyone is like me. Sounds like you have settled to accept what he is doing. Have a little more respect and know that you deserve better. Good Luck,

Answer 7

yes.......why not. The usual reaction to negativity is to be negative too. The perception of this negativity tends to make me feel disheartened and I tend to lose my inner happiness. Once I have perceived the negativity, even if I do try to forgive the person and forget the harm done, I find it difficult to do so. When I see someone working with some negative quality, what I need to do is to look at the positivity that is hidden behind the perceived negativity. The more I am able to look at people's specialties the more I am able to forgive their weaknesses and this keeps me constantly cheerful.

Answer 8

If he only cheated once then yes but if he cheated a bunch of times then no. I know that you love him but sweetie their are more fish in the sea. Men that will value you as a person and not as just another girl. Good Luck and God Bless to you and your loved ones... :o)

Answer 9

You love him who doesn't love you, or he would not cheat. It takes time to cheat, you don't just find yourself in bed with someone -it takes effort, planning & thought. It is not a mere 'mistake', it is done deliberately.
Mistakes are by accident. Eventually he will give you a desease or get a girl pregnant, Do you think when he's naked in bed caressing another woman he's loving you??
You had better get counseling, God hates divorce but your marraige is already over. Unless he totally repented and turned to Jesus now.

Answer 10

just once is one thing but multiple times is a divorce. sorry hon. but its not accetable for any situation. in fact one in 4 people have an STD, you dont want that!!


oh, im sure you dont want to divorce him, i cheated once. i felt horrid and i will never have the urge to do such a terriable thing to anther human again. but forgiveness is a gift, and you cannot keep supplying him with it everytime he does it. he is using you by knowing that if he does it once and you forgave, then why not a second time? NO SECOND CHANCES here!!


as for the chick under me, not true. i think the guilt (true guilt) of cheating is more painful to bear than the spouse's broken heart. my hubby forgave me but i havnt forgave myself.