Dear straight and lesbian women--how can you say that a woman can't be bisexual?

Question

I am bisexual. Just like you all say you're lesbian (born that way) or straight (born that way), I was born this way. I can fall in love, have a relationship with, get hot for both women and men. I do not carry on two relationships at a time; I just can form a significant relationship with either/or. Why do lesbians and straight women find this so hard to grasp, call me a slut/frustrated lesbian/faker etc?

Answer 1

It is possible, you are not a faker. I know first hand some ppl like you. Screw those ppl. They are judging you when they themselves don't want ppl judging them for being Lesbian. They are contradicting themselves. You don't need to be around ppl like that.

Answer 2

I saw something on The Tyra Show the other day about this. The problem (from lesbians) isn't so much true bisexuals--but playing around "for fun". You know the sororiety girls who go into a gay bar to make out with women in front of their boyfriends, as a turn on to their boyfriend. We have a female friend who makes out with other girls at parties b/c the guys encourage her to. To lesbians, it should be more serious. You shouldn't walk in and start making out with someone with no concerns for their feelings. Some lesbians think it means something--they would like to start a relationship and then find out it just was meaningless to the other girl. Also, the thought pattern that it isn't cheating. Often it is perceived as cheating on your boyfriend if you are with another guy--but not if its another woman. Lesbians think that trivializes their relationships. I agree. Cheating is cheating regardless of if its a man or a woman.

Lesbians have fought for equal rights. They have worked to get benefits for their spouse, to get the right to marriage, to not be discriminated against. And it often seems bisexuals are taking advantage of the progress that has been made in societies acceptance levels--without contributing any. (though that is clearly an individual by individual situation)

Also the bisexual argument is often described as a "phase" during college. If lesbian actions are a "phase" it destroys the argument that you are born that way and increases the religious rights argument that you just aren't trying to be straight.

I know you said you've had relationships with both and so these arguments aren't really about you--but often these are the arguments I hear women use for why they call bisexuals fakers. If you are truly bisexual, you'd be bi for life--not just for a couple years.

I have a friend who called herself "hard-core lesbian" but 5 yrs ago was engaged to a guy. A few months ago, she has decided to be straight again. It is easy to see how someone like that--who was with the same girlfriend for 5 yrs and then one day decided, nope I'm straight after all--would offend the gay community.

I hope this gives you some idea as to why they think you are a "faker"--they just dont realize you are having real relationships. So many out there are just doing it for show, the amusement of the crowd. It's not about you b/c they don't know you.

Answer 3

Yeap, I'm bisexual and feel the same way as you do. I get tired of people making the assumption that because of my sexual orientation I cannot be faithful.

To be honest, I also have this problem with both genders not just women: I've had both men and women assume that I'd leave or cheat on them with someone from the opposite sex that they are. To me, that is what is frustrating...not my bisexuality but people's stereotypes.

Answer 4

I didn't know people thought that wasn't possible.

Huh.