We just split up after 3 years together because he wont stop lying! Now he admits he needs help and is asking me to support him. What do I do?!
2007-04-26 04:01:34 · 28 answers · asked by x~Princess Sammy~x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should follow your heart. If YOU want to support him, then do so. If YOU do not want to support him and choose to move on, then you do just that. Good luck!
2007-04-26 04:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by sassysusie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the timing.
If his cry for help occurred, like, immediately after you broke up with him, then he is simply trying to manipulate you. It's just another in a long list of lies. As soon as you "help" him, he'll stop seeking help -- for he'll already have what he was really seeking, which is you.
If your split occurred some time back (say, six months ago or longer) and if there's absolutely zero risk that you'll be persuaded to get back together with him, then by all means offer moral support. But even if this is the situation, don't get bogged down in his issues. After all, he is your ex -- and that means you're done with your role as emotional crutch. You really don't have to do it any more.
2007-04-26 11:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by Georgia Fella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years together is a substantial amount of time to have been together and some people are compulsive liars, it is a disorder that they just cannot get over. Its up to you how you go about this. You can either tell him that you have had enough and get closure on the relationship or you can help him, if you truly believe he is telling the truth of course, and maybe try and make it work. Its not something that is just going to disappear but convince him that you can be trusted, that he can tell you anything. I had a boyfriend who told me that he had cancer to try and make me sleep with him, that was extreme and someone like that should not be given another chance, of course I broke up with him but he kept threatening to kill himself, which was also a lie. I completely cut all ties with him and recently heard another unfortunate girl was on the receiving end of his lies and threats. My last boyfriend told me he had a brother who died of cancer and he was constantly telling unnecessary lies, I heard from his ex that he was always doing that with her too, so I broke up with him without confronting him and am now ith an amazing honest guy but my ex got back with his ex, and now they have a baby and are very happy together, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is a chance it could all work out great for you. The best of luck
2007-04-26 11:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by miami180985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow him the time and room that he needs......But, I think theres no cure for lying.....Unless he has a certain problem and the lies have to do with the problem he has and he needs help with the problem if not then people lie for different reasons and are aware of their lies and when they lie... You won't be able to stop him from lying whether you leave him or not. It's not about his lies, it's about the trust you lost for him and that's going to be difficult to built back.....
2007-04-26 11:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A desperate last minute ploy to get you back I think. If you are serious about helping him but really don't want to be with him anymore then phone his family tell them about his issues and let them help him. If you still love him, but can't deal with the lying, but would have him back if he stopped. Then go to counselling with him to see what he has to do and help him with in a friend capacity, but let him see that if he makes it through, whatever he needs to get through, then maybe you and him have another shot. Then you will see how serious he is about changing or whether it is just an attempt to get you back - bear in mind he lies anyway, so maybe this is another one?
2007-04-26 11:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking us? You broke up with him, so apparently you weren't willing to stick it out and work through it together. Move on. You didn't have an argument. You broke up. Don't be wishy-washy. You did it, and now it's done. End of story unless you like stupid drama.
2007-04-26 11:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support him by all means. And then regardless of the results - keep away from him because whatever happens you will be the victim.
2007-04-26 15:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With his track record, are you going to believe him now?
Some things are best left in the past.
There are far better, decent, normal guys out there - go find one and bear in mind how much more difficult that could be if you are stil emotionally tied your ex :)
2007-04-26 11:04:42 · answer #8 · answered by Capt.Marsh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont know how u feel and what ur heart tells u to do but normally its better not to get involved with people which are handy with lies .
i think u will take the best decision for u , the one u wont get hurt
best wishes x
2007-04-26 11:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married then I think you have an obligation to the marriage to help him and work things out with him if possible. Good luck to ya my friend.
2007-04-26 11:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋