ladies, tell me about your experience with childbirth?

Question

I know this question has been asked many times, but I am terrified to the point where I am having nightmares about it. I would love to hear about your experiences, good and bad. What can I do to push the fear aside and start to look forward to it? I'm due at the end of october and I'm having my baby in a foreign country, they don't have all the mod cons that the UK and US have, they also cut you here whether you need to be cut or not.

I think the fact that I'm in a foreign country is doubling my anxiety, there are no ante natal classes, I have been told that they will tell me how to breathe when I go into labour, also I really wanted a water birth but it is not available where I live in Greece. I have to travel 3 hours by boat to get to the clinic so I will have to stay in a hotel and go a week before my EDD, just in case I go early, this is stressing me out!!!

Answer 1

Well, you know it's going to hurt. What you don't know is that you CAN cope with it. I understand your being scared, but really, really, you will not regret it in any way. Your body cleverly manages to make you forget - that's why so many of us have more than one child. I had both of mine without any drugs, epidural etc and although I'd originally decided that I wanted it to be as natural as possible, once it started hurting, I was shrieking for whatever they'd give me but was going too fast to be able to have any pain relief - and I managed, both times and it was the most worthwhile thing ever. I'm not especially brave, and my pain-threshhold is not particularly high, I am your average woman who can give birth with no complications, and you probably will be too! As for your episiotomy, to be honest I don't think that's going to be such a big deal. I had ideas about it being a bad thing, and stated categorically that I didn't want one unless it was necessary, and ended up with a jagged tear which took a while to heal but which I honestly wasn't aware of happening until after the event. If I'd had the cut, it would have been straight, and healed faster. It's not so good that you don't have the choice, but really, it's not the worst thing in the world. Don't be scared - the compensation you get is just the most amazing thing in the world - your very own baby - and believe me, you will be so happy. One thing I would say though is that I was terrified after giving birth to my first because I wasn't that interested in him for a few hours, I was so wrapped up in myself and was faking the "oh look, isn't he lovely" stuff because I felt it was expected of me. Second time around, I felt exactly the same way, but I wasn't worried as I knew the feelings would come - it only took me a couple of hours, some women take longer - and if you're one, don't panic - it comes.

Answer 2

I was a week and a half late. I went to the doctors my cervix was unfavorable. Two days later I started having contraction and went to the hospital. MY plan was a natural birth but the pain was too great. So I had an epidural. I teared naturally.
It wasn't that bad for me, I screamed and cried and tried to runaway, I think for every women the pain is different. My Mother had a very painful birth so I was expecting that as well, and it happened. When I was fully dilated and started pushing it took almost three hours (same with my Mother) DO not be afraid, every women who had a child went through it, there are 6 billion people on earth. I kept thinking how could six billion people do this? Afterwards it wasn't that bad, you forget everything. I will and am planning on having more children and I am going to try for a natural birth again. I also had two doulas which helped a lot! I am excited for my next birth, this time I will no what to expect! Babies are so worth it!

Answer 3

It's actually pretty normal to have nightmares and weird dreams about everything during pregnancy, but sounds like you might have some really overwhelming fears. What is it you fear the most?

Pain? Remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years (pain meds only came into use the last 100 years) and you can do it, too! Read up on ways to relax and cope. A great book is The Birth Book by Dr. Sears

Death? This is the safest time to have a baby. Women's health has never been better.

Baby? Maybe you have fears about baby and his/her health, or just about being a mother. Believe me, everything falls into place because women were made to be mothers. Baby will be in good hands and if there are any problems the medical staff will be right on top of things.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

Cut as in how? An episotomy or c-section? Episotomies are nothing. I have had one with both children and I still tore badly with my 1st child.
Ok, child birth stories...I was induced with my first child. It was extremely painful! I had an epidural and it worked so well that I couldnt feel to push! They tried turning it off but that didnt work. In the end I had a beautiful baby girl who is now 5.
My second child was much easier! I woke up at 3am with contractions but they were so mild and irregular that I didnt think I was really in labor. Finally around Noon when they hadnt subsided or changed my mother in law suggested that I go to the hospital to get checked out. I was 6 cm and the water sack was bulging! The nurse broke my water and I went instantly to a 10! There was no time for the epidural to start working besides they had never finished putting it in! My son was born about 15 minutes later!
I hope you come through everything fine and your baby too! It can get kind of scary being far from home and pregnant! Good luck!

Answer 5

The best advice I can give u is to go with the flow, it's u can do trust me. No matter what u go through I went through worse with my first child who is now 7 months old.

I didn't tell anyone only my fiance that I was pregnant! I didn't see the doctor once nor I had any scans through out my whole pregnancy! (I didn't tell bcoz I am disabled and I didn't want the doctors to tell me that I needed an abortion, also I got away with it as I would be on the heavier side so ppl thought I had just put more weight on coz I didn't really look pregnant)

So I ended up going into the A&E after 14 hours of labour pains with so called 'bowel problems' but really I was in labour! When I finally got examined I was already 7 cm dilated and was rushed to the delivery suit. I had to have an emergency C section and had to be knocked out as my uterus swall up 3 times it's usual size and kept filling up with blood! They told me I was fortunate to have made it threw. Luckily my son was a healthy 6 lb 12 oz gorg baby boy after 18 hours of labour. However I ended up with MRSA in my wound and a lung infection which prolonged my healing process but I got there after about 7 weeks. To top it all off I'm pregnant again! Only this time I told the doctors so hopefully it won't be as bad this time.

P.S. Just remember that no matter what u have to go through when ur giving birth to ur baby it's probably not even half as bad as what I or other women have went threw to get our bundles of joy. So don't stress about it and I hope everything goes well for u.

Answer 6

You can stress and worry all you like but it is not doing the baby any good and will likely make the birth worse. I won't go into graphic details about my 3 natural child births as it probably would scare you. What I will say is that wether you believe me or not when you hold your baby in your arms at the end or it all it is all worth it, every minute. And maybe not straight away but one day you may even be willing to go through it again do give your baby a brother or sister. Your body knows what it is doing and millions of women have done it before so relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Answer 7

I had a baby boy 6 weeks ago and really did think once he was born and I was walking up to the maternity ward from the delivery suite that I could do it again. I had stitches because I tore but I didn't feel a thing when it happened, must have been the adrenalin because I had no pain relief by then.

There's no point in worrying yourself about it - one way or another that baby has to make it's way out of you. And as a previous reply says, it is only recently that pain relief has been introduced and women have been giving birth for thousands of years.

Don't worry about an episiotomy - they make sure you're anaesthetised before they cut. At least if they do cut it's easier and quicker and neater to sew up afterwards than tearing!

The best advice is just to relax, enjoy your pregnancy, and try not to worry as this is no good for yourself or your baby.

Answer 8

i have 4 children all girls and luckily for me i had good labours with them all with my first i was in labour for 4 and half hours 3 and half with my second eldest who was born at home and 2 and half with the twins who were born at my cousins house i had a water birth with the eldest 2 couldn't have a water birth with the twins although i wanted one i didn't find one way better than the other really but i suppose i was more relaxed in the birthing pool up to the point of giving birth you automatically know when to push so don't be worried about not going to any classes it's the most amazing experience in the world and even if you do have some pain after giving birth you'll forget it all once your holding your beautiful baby try not to worry, relax and enjoy the pregnancy
good luck I'm sure all will be fine

Answer 9

During the last couple of weeks, or even days, before you go into labour, your body becomes so extreemly ucomfortable that the idea of childirth isn't as scary anymore. Basically, you'll be wanting it to happen and get it all over with, just so you're not as uncomfortable anymore. It's natures way of getting you ready :)

I started contractions after 4 hours sleep, eventually went to hospital 6 hours later and was just 3cm dialated. I couldn't get comfy, and the midwives were getting mad at me for screaming so loud (although the profanity may have een an element ;) )

At around midnight I got moved to a room with a birthing pool, got in for 5 mins then got out, it didn't help me, lol. Then eventually a Dr gave me a drug which allowed me to sleep for a couple of hours, as I was beyond exhaustion (this was 18 hours after contractions had started)

When I woke up, I continued the frequent agony for a few more hours, untill 8am when I started to push. It feels like you're trying to poop a bowling ball, as all the pressure was on that region.

Eventually baby callum popped out. I tore slightly, but not enough to warrent stitches. I started loosing blood and a swarm of Dr's came up, giving me injections and even suppositories (pleasent :( ) but I stabalised, and didn't need anything else.

Answer 10

I was in labour for about three days, when i finally went into hospital I was strapped to a machine for the entire time because the babies heart rate was dropping very very low....I had all sorts of nasty test done, they put my legs in stirrups and inserted an instrument inside me to take blood from the babies head - in order to detect if he was destressed?!? - They had to do this 3 times!!!Very painful....I finanlly got to 10 centiremetres dilated and was ready to push when they deceiced to rush me in for an emergency C Section!!! It was so scary because I was so worried about my baby...his heart rate had dropped down to 30!!!!

They got my baby out and he was so amazing, I was out of it for a bit because they had to put me out to do the C section. - I was a little bit sad when I came home from the hospital because I wanted to see my baby coming into the world, but the way I see it is if I hadnt of had the C Section he might not be here today.

After the birth I didnt think I would be able to go through the pain again (I originally wanted loads of children - maybe 5) but here I am 5 weeks pregnant and I cant wait....

Everyones experiences are different, but at the end of the day your having a baby and he has to come out eventually!

I have friend who have actually said they enjoyed the experience of giving birth and that it 'didnt hurt that bad'

Good luck - you will be fine! x x