AS one of the conditions of us staying together she had to break all ties with this person. I have found out that she still talks to him on the phone and has occationally ran into him. She insists that nothing has happened after we got married. More recently this argument has seperated us. I guess the question is am I wrong for not putting up with it.
2007-04-26 03:29:07 · 24 answers · asked by teddy w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not wrong at all.. she broke the agreement that you both made. She also knew that the agreement was a condition of staying together when she chose to break it. What is that saying......
She has, unfortunately, shown you that she not only disregards your feelings.. but apparently has no respect for the marriage.
It is sad to say, indeed, but her heart does not appear to be faithful.. whether she actually is or not.
Have a heart to heart talk with her, and ask this woman whether she wants you or not. If she truly does, she will cast this man out of her life for good. At the same time, search yourself, and pose this same question to you. The degree to which you desire to stay married to her will determine how hard you are willing to fight.
2007-04-26 03:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by michaeljazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong but if your wife did had an affair with this man,it was before the two of you got married. Yes it's a bit awkward knowing that she still talk to him and even run into him,but if its an innocent conversation, give her a chance to tell you and prove to you that it's just a friendly thing.
Before I married my husband, he promised ME that if I wait for him he will not look for another woman, but he did and lied about it then. When I found out,we were already married and it made me sad that he lied to me. I forgave him because we weren't married then but my trust was lost for a while. what I am telling you is don't make it such a horrible situation,give her all the benefit of a doubt to show you that there's nothing there.
2007-04-26 04:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She broke your trust once, and I don't blame you for not completely trusting her now. Maybe nothing has happened, but that doesn't mean there will be some emotions between the two of them on some sort of level. Maybe it's time to sit her down and tell her that she is breaking your trust, her talking is a marriage deal-breaker and that if she doesnt' stop this immediately that you'll be forced to move her out of the home. Sometimes, even with husbands / wives, you need to do the "tough love" thing and put your foot down. And to answer your question, NO you are not wrong for not wanting to put up with it. She is breaking the promise, not you.
2007-04-26 03:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you doubt her and are separated over it, you now have to decide whether the conversations she had and meeting she had were innocent, or if there is something more to it. If she did not elaborate, then she's probably hiding something and wishing she had not gotten married. She may think the grass is greener on the other side after seeing how it's been married to you for awhile. No, you are right to not put up with it, but you gotta ask if any of it was initiated by your actions or inactions toward her since you've been married.
2007-04-26 03:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you wrong??? I don't think your wrong. If the agreement you had was for her to lose contact and move on with you and she's still choosing to stay in contact with this person then she's betraying the bond you and her have.
She may be doing absolutely nothing wrong with this guy but, thats not what this is about, its about the trust between the both of you that she broke when she continued to speak to this guy knowing that this was the decision she needed to make in order to stay together....You need to sit down and speak to her, let her know how you feel and you may have to re-look at your marriage......She has to know whats important to her..Sad to say, she may have already chosen.....
I hope things work out for you either way......
2007-04-26 03:53:44 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing, once she cheated with him and you two made a deal to cut all ties when you got married then there is nothing wrong. Have you asked her what is going on to the point where she wont let him go?
2007-04-26 03:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife cannot honor a simple request, which by the way is not unreasonable then you don't need to be with her. You decided to give her another chance and she blew it. I believe that if she is still in contact with her lover that she is definitely still sleeping with him and disrespecting you. Sometimes you just have to let go. You seem like a really nice guy and there a lot of women out here that would love to have somone like you. Find someone that loves you and you only and then you won't have to deal with this.
2007-04-26 03:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong at all . Why are you even worried about her . All she did was create a spark that started a fire . You know if you go back your always going to have that in your mined no matter how hard you try to rid of it . Then one leads into another and your going to be out cheating as well . Why bother you went this far now finish the job.
2007-04-26 03:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be having a hard time dealing with this infidelity. But I can see that you're trying to work it out with your wife but your heart isn't letting you escape the pain she's caused you. Sometimes you have to think with your mind instead of your heart to make wise decisions. If you really look at yourself and see that you can't get over this then you may have to separate your lives because you don't want to live in misery knowing what she's done. But if she truly cut ties with this guy and you decided to forgive her then it's your responsibility to live up to your words.
2007-04-26 03:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Always Camera Ready 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong. According to what you say, she only talks on the phone and occasionally runs into him. This does not mean she cares for him more than you, it means she runs into him and talks on the phone, that's it. Her decision to stay in touch with this man has nothing to do with her love for you. She loves YOU, that is why she is with you. She might have a confidant or a really good friendship with this guy but it does not take away from you. If she says it is not a big deal, than accept it. By being so insecure, you are only making yourself more miserable and destroying the good relationship you obviously have. Cherish it instead of doubting it:) Hope this helps.
2007-04-26 03:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by Zizi 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋