I hate my mom..thus hating life.. can somebody help me?

Question

I come froma culture where before god, comes before your mother. You must respect and love your mother more than anything in the world. Its been drilled into my head by religious teachers since the third grade. But since im first generation american... i am hating my mom.. It started off with me just getting angry at her for not letting me do things. But now, everytime she speaks, i hate it. I always wish for a better mother. But god freaking stuck me with this one.. But since i hate my mom so much. Im really depressed... can somebody help me? Is this a normal thing for teenagers, or is this the beginings of a serial killer?

Answer 1

You've taken a good step by asking for advice. That shows that you have an open mind and are willing to ask and listen. Excellent! So you resent your mother not letting you do certain things and you battle about that. Know there are bound to be some things she won't let you do because she loves you so much she doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. There are streets full of teen roaming who's parents take the easy way out and don't bother to tell them "no". It's easier to ignore your teens than give them rules. That said, determine which things she won't let you do that you deep down sort of agree with because it's not in your best interest. Then there are some things you battle about that she really is not seeing reality on- it's not that big of deal and she's making it one. Try to talk with her about those things and acknowledge that you understand she is just trying to keep you safe on the other ones. And remember, nothing is forever. You only have a few more years in the house. Think of it like this; your parents pay the bills, give you food and shelter. The price for that is emotional turmoil over lifestyle choices and things you want to do. Keep low and be busy in good things. The less contact the better right now unless you two can start agreeing on things better. No matter what, do well in school. That is your ticket to freedom. You want to get into an excellent college and from there you make your own future and decisions. I see family's settling here from other countries and I have to admire the respect they have for demanding their children do well, behave and turn out to be good citizens. Not all cultures, but quite a few really want this for themselves and their children. They work tirelessly and set the example for the lazy American born parents who collect welfare and let their kids do as they please. Thank goodness your family has discipline and wants the best for you! Try thinking of all the good things you have in your life. A child with a disease would trade places with you in an instant if all they could deal with is a strong-willed mother. Hang in there- I bet you are a wonderful young man!

Answer 2

Hi Arjun... is the culture your talking about an indian one? Coz in my culture too it says to put parents first. I really don't like my dad though, but now I realize how I musnt be, I musnt be like him when I grow up. The first thing you must do is go to the core of the problem... find out the real reason why you dislike your mother and acknowledge that, because there is no solution unless you find the problem. You can try talking to her about it too. Don't think you are a serial killer, situations like this are common with teenagers, I am one too and sometimes i feel really depressed and by talking to other people and getting help I found out there are a lot of people like this too. Also God put you with your mother for a reason, just believe in him, I'm serious if you pray things will get better, maybe not immediately, but in the long run things will be ok. Wish you all the best, things will work out man.

Answer 3

Your mom tells you you can't do certain things because she loves you and I'm sure it BREAKS HER HEART to hear you say you hate her ! The fact that you asked the question , suggests that you are NOT happy with yourself either, because you are seeking to fix your relationship with her because you know this will help change and improve ALL other aspects of your life ! Even if you DO hate her , never SAY it in front of her , it will make her cry , even if you don't see her cry , she is hurting very much ! If my daughter said that , It would hurt me severly ! It sounds like you just don't like rules, and she has some ! No reason for HATE ! Your mom has rules so you will grow up knowing right from wrong ! We never know hoe long we will have our parents . My Dad is already gone ( cancer ) , and I miss him very much , so does my Mom ! I am ALL she has , ( except my husband and daughter ) we ALL stick together . She just lives across the street , and we ALWAYS have dinner all together ! If your last words to her were " I hate you " , how would you feel for the rest of your life ? How will that effect YOUR relationship with YOUR daughter ( or son ) ? How would your MOM feel if those were your last words ? Do you want her to hear that in her head while she is dying ? Think ahead , sit down and talk to her ! Follow the rules ! If you show some responsibility , then maybe she will ease up on some of them ! Or maybe YOU will learn why they are IMPORTANT ! You will appreciate her more , after YOU have children ! But will SHE still be here to see how well you turn out ? No one knows ! Think about ALL the children who don't even have parents , or who are abused and /or molested by their own !! You need to quit being selfish and learn to forgive and forget ! Let the past go , start a NEW slate ! Talk to her , maybe you BOTH can try a little harder ! It is normal for teenagers and parents to disagree , but HATE of ANY kind is NEVER acceptable ! Please try to work this out , life is TOO short ! I will pray for BOTH of you ! Feel free to E-mail me , if you need a friend and are willing to work on your relationship, with your mom. I will listen ( well , read ) and try to help ! Good luck !

Answer 4

It's normal. We all go through a stage in our lives when we are ready to break away from our parents but thsy don't think we are. Many teenagers hate their parents for holding them back from friends, parties, going to the mall, dating, etc. Let me just tell you from experience, that you will understand your Mom one day and know that everything she did she did out of love and concern for you. I know it seems like she is ruining your life right now, but the older you get, the more you get the fact that your parents are just trying to keep you from harm and from getting hurt. You really should try to make up with your Mom. She won't always be here for you and when she's gone, you;ll wish she was here to talk to. Think about the bigger picture. It won't be long until you are out on your own, Trust me, your family is all you can ever really count on. If you are lucky enough to have 1 or2 good close true friends that's great, but when everyone else turns their backs on you, your family will still be there for you.

Answer 5

Its completely normal for teens to feel like they "hate" their parents...just try to do what she says to avoid conflict, but if she is being ridiculous try to talk to her when you are both calm. Let her know how you feel, why you feel like that, and that things are different for you since you are growing up American...maybe she will reconsider some of her actions. If not, just bite your tounge & try not to get into it too much..how old are you? If your already in high school make sure you do extra good in school & go to a college away from home so that you won't have to live with her anymore. Once the two of you have space, I promise your relationship will get better. Good luck!! *smiles*

Answer 6

I think all teenagers go through this kind of thing. You need to decide if you are being selfish or if the issuess with your mother are real. If they are real remember she is your mother. The issues need to either be resolved or let go. When your mad at her remember how much you love her and try to see her point. Since you are still living with her you need to try to be as civil as possible. You rebelling will just cause more problems.

Answer 7

Hey buddy, what is the reason for hating her so much? if it's because she may go against your wishes then you need to take a step back and try and see it from her point of view, you need to be more specific in why you hate her.
From what you have so far written i would guess that you are a teenager and could be simply going through hormone changes.

Answer 8

Every teenager goes through the i hate my mum stange. i constantly go through it.
you will eventually grow out of it and grow to love her again but for now all i can say is get a mobile, talk to you friends every night, lock yourself in your room and agree with everything she says. you will spend less time in her face if you dont fight. this will get you through till you move out and then start to love again

Answer 9

Get some counselling.. Your mother gave you life..Thank God you have her.. My dear mother has demtia She sometimes doesnt know us .She has forgotten how to use a telephone.

Answer 10

its normal, you cant really hate your mother. just put up with her coz shes the only one you got and the only one your ever gonna have.