I have already asked about my man's nit picking and name calling, etc. But now I am so hurt. There are so many things he has taken away from me. I love to sew - he threw my machine and broke it. I love to cook - he's such an a** (nitpicking every thing I make) that now I don't derive any enjoyment from doing it. And the latest - I love to work on my yard. I've spent countless hours filling holes, mowing, landscaping, etc. He has a few buddies over and decides that they need to have a bonfire so he digs a hole to burn wood. I told him I will not be mowing the lawn this year (8 hours a shot with a riding mower) and that the yard is now his responsibilty. He won't keep it up - I know this. If it is not mowed down then we have to worry about snakes so my children cannot go outside and play. What do I do? I want a nice yard - I enjoy working on it - but if I do then I feel that I am saying that his blatant disregard for my feelings is okay. He just does not get it!
2007-04-26 00:32:24 · 13 answers · asked by bobbijoslin 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I believe that I, like many others here, have the solution for you. But I don't think you are ready for it. But you will be. So here's the solution, for when you ARE ready.
He is a mean-spirited, controlling, insensitive individual. And he is not going to change. All that will change is you...and how you feel about yourself. And your children will also change...they will go from sweet and carefree children to dysfunctional little people who will learn much from his ways and how you have just taken it from him. Your daughters will learn how to accept abuse and your sons will learn how to treat women.
Ridding your life of an individual like this seems impossible. You can't imagine your life without this kind of unhappiness and torment. But when you've had enough, and you do kick him out...you will see, in time, how easy it really was and how much better your life is without him. (This is experience talking...because you and I could have been involved with the same man...so similar the traits.)
You - and more importantly, your children - deserve so much more. You were not put on this earth to be treated like this, and you certainly didn't have children so that you could screw them up this way. You may say that he is wonderful with them...but the fact that he is so abusive with you is not lost on them. They are learning that this is normal behaviour. And if I may be so blunt, you have no right to screw up those kids in this way. If you want to be miserable and unhappy, thats your choice. But your kids and their future happiness is your responsibility.
I hope that you will come to this conclusion on your own...sooner, rather than later. But until you do, realize that NOTHING you say or do will change his behaviour...so if you choose to stay with him, you'll just have to put up with it.
2007-04-26 01:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To understand what these are, you need to know that a solvent is the part that does the dissolving (usually water, a.k.a. the universal solvent), and a solute is the part that is being dissolved (such as salts, sugars, acids, and bases). For all solutions the solute must be added to the solvent, NOT the other way around. especially with acids and bases, this could cause some serious problems. 1. An unsaturated solution is a solution that can dissolve more solute without changing any of the current conditions (such as temperature), and there will be no visible unsaturated solute (e.g. you can't see the salt at the bottom of the cup and you can dissolve more salt with out having to heat the water.) 2. A saturated solution is a solution that has reached its maximum solute load. It can't saturate any more, and you may or may not see some extra solute floating around, depending on whether you added more than the solvent could dissolve or not. 3. A supersaturated solution is a solution that has been altered (usually heated) in order to dissolve more solute than it would be able to under normal conditions. The will be no undissolved solute present.
2016-05-19 02:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by jennie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your man has a real problem with control and wanting to be the center of attention. It sounds like he doesn't want you to have pleasure from anything other than something that involves him. It also sounds like he enjoys being able to take away and ruin your pleasure whenever he can. I have a husband that is like this, and I'm telling you to either get some counseling or get OUT! More than likely he will never change, but if there is a chance of him changing it won't be because you tell him to. You're gonna' need a third party objective. Good luck.
2007-04-26 02:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by cali34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have already asked about my man's nit picking and name calling, etc. But now I am so hurt. There are so many things he has taken away from me.
Right there is your answer..He is killing your love for life. He has taken the joy out of every thing. He has issues beyond your control and i wouldn't be to surprised if hasn't hit you.He
doesn't seem to care about anything except his own being.
"blatant disregard for my feelings"
You need to get out of his life, You need to make a major move and protect yourself and your children.Name calling
is just the start,Next it will be physical and i don't think you really want to start walking around with glasses to hide that black eye or the stress marks he is leaving behind. The sleepless nights,Headaches,Stomach ache....Leave him.....
Thats not love, That is a blatant disregard of your feelings
and pure ignorance
2007-04-26 01:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by dokken3kiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's very disrespectful and little regards for your feelings. Try sitting down and talking to him about these things. Maybe you could divide up some of the work between you and come to a compromise. Maybe you could approach him with the fact that you have come up with an idea that may work for both of you. If he doesn't respond, I suggest you get some counseling. If he is not willing to compromise on anything, how can you have a real relationship? It;'s time to take care of yourself, too.
2007-04-26 03:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's your solution...get rid of the a** and live a happy life !
I've been there...I got rid of the a** and did fine on my own till I met a REAL: man who loved me and we have been very happy for the past 11 years.
2007-04-26 00:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun, you need to get rid of him! he sounds like such a jerk! you and your children can do alot better. there are many men in the world, you don't have to put up with that. always remember, that you deserve better especially for your children.
2007-04-26 00:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Charmed One♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in full agreement with the previous posters...he sounds like a loser and you can do better....get rid of him before the abuse turns physical.
2007-04-26 00:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by princess_dnb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he's just not into you anymore. I would suggest counseling first, and if that doesn't work then you should decide what you should do next. I hate breakups!
2007-04-26 01:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that every problem has a solution, hmm set rules.. rules wil lbe perfect, organize your life, he doesnt have a right to control your life...umm... set rules.. respect for each other.. try to set cronstuvtive rules.. like it's good for you and good for me... everybody happy..but if nothing changes so action should be implemented....gudluck
2007-04-26 00:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋