My partner is having an internet that's spiraling out of control. This guy is feeding her bullsh*t and she's falling for it hook, line and sinker. It doesn't help that he lives only 40 miles away either. She only learned to use a PC 1 week ago. She puts it down to mid life crisis (she turned 40 on Monday). She's already considering visiting him, "as a new found friend". This is not paranoia on my part. Up till last week we were absolutely fine. The only community she goes on is SLINGO. His there any way I can block incoming messages to her from this guy to give her a cooling down period,or am I resigned to losing her and my 2 year old boy. I don't think this is just a fad.
Sensible help will be appreciated.
2007-04-25 22:27:14 · 15 answers · asked by IAN B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Could I just say thank you to all current replies, they make me feel a whole lot better already
2007-04-26 00:18:05 · update #1
You have trouble, my friend.
You need to talk with her right away. Tell her how you feel. Look at your relationship - you may think you had no issues until this past week, but I'm guessing she would not agree.
I don't think that physically stopping her from messaging this guy will work.
2007-04-25 22:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by Shaky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey babes - right you need to have a serious discussion with your wife regarding this - if she argues the point that he is just her "friend" - turn the tables - ask her how she would feel if you were the one chatting to a lady and organising to meet her? Im pretty sure that should put things in perspective for her!
You could also point out the dangers of meeting men online - granted most of them are normal nice guys- but there are also a lot of guys that stalk the nets looking for women to murder/rape/stalk - you name it. You can also mention the fact that just coz she says they're friends does NOT mean that his intentions are honourable.
As a mother and wife she should have a lot more cop on - not only is she insulting you as her husband by her carry on - but she is putting her child at risk - what if this guy is a psycho and either hurts her - or gets obsessed or something - she is indirectly involving her child.
Lastly you could point out that if it is a mid life crisis she could take up a new hobby or something to distract her from it - shes being totally selfish in her actions and you are a very patient man to put up with this. Many other men would have thrown her out on her ear by now!
I wish you all the best with this.
xx
2007-04-26 02:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must be too naive to understand that internet on line is no good. It looks like your partner is not happy in your relationship and she does not behave like a married woman. No matter how you block the incoming message, she can find a way to see the guy. It's that what you want? Better, talk to her. The two of you need to talk and be honest to each other. If she says she's not happy with you and willing to leave you, that's up to you to decide. Letting go is hard but meaningless to stop her if she's into that guy.
2007-04-25 22:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by julkritz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to be concerned.
Once a person starts talking about "meeting up" with the other person its gone too far.
At least its good you know about it.
Flattery and sexual interest is fun, exiting and new. Its natural she would enjoy this guys attention.
Is there anyone else that can talk to her. If it comes from you......you will be seen as kill joy, jelous, paranoid etc. A third party needs to tell her that some guys will say anything to anyone one the net. At worst they get a cheap thrill out of the "banter" at best they get a "visit" from a new friend.
Someone other than you needs to tell her to wake up look at what she's got and keep the flirting to the keyboard only.
Maybe tactfully bring up the subject with a suportive girl friend of hers (make sure its the one who likes you!!!) and take it from there. Good luck m8.
2007-04-25 22:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by GMonkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Internet is evil in some ways, so many people get dragged in to things through chatting to people on the net. You need to talk to your wife, ask her if she is happy. Maybe she's looking for some attention and your not giving it to her. Talk now and don't let her meet this guy, he's trouble!
I don't know about SLINGO and I don't think you can block messages on sites like that.
Good luck
2007-04-25 22:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by Vixx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might sound way off,at least you are aware of this person. So you have a good open relationship. Tell her about her dangers she can be in by meeting a stranger she met on line. then, spoil her rotten, so that she is so in love with you, she cant think of any one else. If she still feel this could be a good friend, go with her, If she is wrong, you can be there to protect her and if she is right, maybe you can find a comon friendship in him. Good luck!!
2007-04-25 22:41:58 · answer #6 · answered by г๏zเ -----x.♡.x----- 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK TO HER!!! Try couple's counseling... Do NOT go behind her back and try to block him/her from talking to each other... Try telling her how you feel, and ask her for counseling... And I wouldn't let your child go with her if she DOES end up meeting this guy... There are a lot of loonies on the internet! Unfortunately, if she chooses to meet him or whatever, then, that's her decision... But I'd make sure to warn her about the dangers of meeting people from the internet (especially after such a short amount of time!), and I'd definitely tell her how I feel about the situation... Keep things calm, and LISTEN to whatever she has to say to you about the situation... And let her make the decision... Unfortunately, she's the only one who can decide what to do about the guy... And you have to decide what you are willing to put up with or not put up with.
Good Luck!
2007-04-25 22:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by PrettyMama982 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you just unplug the PC....get disconnected, she may be meeting her worst night mare if she goes to see this guy....and YES you can stop her meeting him, give her an ultimatum, tell her that if she goes to meet thins guy then it's over between you both...if you really want her to stop....look for the unsubscribe button an unsubscribe her without telling her, she may go back then in a different name, but if she meets this guy she may be walking into disaster...he could be a weirdo for all she knows....put your foot down and tell her NO....it's obvious that she has no idea about the dangers of Internet meetings.....stop her now before some crazy nut case gets his hands on her....i mean meeting someone after a week is totally ridiculous...
2007-04-25 22:38:31 · answer #8 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, hate to say this but I agree with every1 else, by "blocking" him, u'r forcing her hand. If all was fine & dandy @ home she wouldn't be looking anywhere else for companionship, so my thought is that she's feeling taken for granted & is using this as an outlet for her boredom. Yes, he prob is b'shiting her, having never met her, but may be u should be saying the same sort of stuff but meaning it then she won't go anywhere else.
The saying is y eat @ McD's when you have steak @ home, but if home is a soup kitchen (partic if you have to cook your own) then you'd think McD's as an improvement.
2007-04-25 23:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Bubbly Blonde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't do something fast you are going to lose her. Talk to her about this internet thing. Block the e-mail if you can. Smash the computer if you can. It's better to lose a computer than a partner, right?
2007-04-25 22:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by Reycen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋