My best friend died! She committed suicide... how do I move on?

Question

We've been friends for two years, and she is such a beautiful girl... nice hair, teeth, everything about her is so beautiful and I was scared to ask her out... LOL. I wanted to wait a bit to get to know her better.

Well, 2 days ago... she hung herself with a barb wired rope, and her mother found out and rushed her to the Emergency room ASAP, but it was to late... flat line and no heart beat.

Her mother told me the whole story... GOD! Why, why did she have to suffer? I blamed myself for this, I've always been there for her, and I was her best friend, but I blame myself for not being there that day, and it's my fault, all my fault... Damnit.. damnit.

I'm sorry I've just lost a wonderful person, and she was only 21.

Now I have to visit another funeral. I'm very sad right now, I knew a girl back in High School and she was 18 and did the same thing she did.

I have no more friends...I'm out friends. I feel her parent's pain right now, I do and her other friends.

RIP Laura

Answer 1

That's horrible.
D=

Don't blame yourself.

Just remember all the good times.
Of course, it's going to take time.

You have my sympathy.
=]

And talking to someone about it might help a little.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. It is very sad when people don't realize that they will get through the painful emotions that they may experience in life.

As for you, you could not prevent something that she wanted to happen. If she had only been crying for help, she would have told someone that she was suicidal. She wanted to die, and you could have no way of knowing that she would do this.

Life can be very cruel, but we have to be strong and fight back. I am sure that your friend would not want you to feel the pain that you are experiencing. She probably did not even consider how others would feel at the time she took her life.

You might feel better if you could talk to come of her other friends. Why don't you set up a vigil for her. That way you can talk to her parents, and the people that loved her the most. I am sure that all of you would benefit from the remembrance ceremony, and maybe open others eyes as to how suicide effects those that love the victim. Perhaps you could turn this tragedy into something positive.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know why she did that. But what I do know is that this is NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I really wish you didn't have to go through this. When I was in high school, I attempted suicide, but it was no one's fault. I was immensely depressed, and I hid it from everyone (people are such great actors). I made the decision on my own (to try to take my life) as did your friend.
You cannot blame yourself for this. Unfortunately, I don't have answers for you. My advice is to get into counselling or a grief support group. Talking about your feelings with an objective trained professional will be beneficial. Again I am so sorry you lost your friend. But please remember that it is not your fault.

Answer 4

Randy:
Firstly, this was not your fault at all. Sometimes, even best friends aren't aware that their closest friends are having serious issues. People who have thoughts of suicide or a large amount of inner turmoil don't necessarily advertise it, even to their best friends. If she got it into her head to kill herself, TRUST ME, there's NOTHING either you or ANYONE could have done to stop her. She felt it needed to be done, for whatever terrible reason. She found the time alone & took her own life. I'm very sorry for your loss; it's never easy. You have to rest assured that you did everything you could to make her life a happy one based on what you & she shared. Don't base your friendhsip on her death, man! Base it on the friendship & love you two shared! You may nnever understand why she took her own life, but you can honor her memory & your friendship with her by keeping your own memories of her close in your heart. Share those memories with others, so that a part of her may go on. Healing takes a good long while, so give yourself time to mourn. The dyas will get better, bit by bit & your life will go on. have Faith. Bright Blessings & my deepest condolences on your loss.

Answer 5

Take it one day at a time,the pain as time goes by.isn't as intense as the day before.maybe,there is some way you could honor her.helping her friends get a fundraiser and the proceeds go to the local suicide hotline. You have friends,you just have to get out there and meet them.Through something tragic, something helpful ,to others can happen.Awareness, to others ,that we don't have to feel alone or be lonely!I'm sorry, you lost a friend.

Answer 6

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Maybe you weren't there for a reason. God only has the answers. You can make it. You will make other friends. Just take your time and take things day by day and ask the Lord to help you.

God Bless you

Answer 7

The first thing I would say to you is it's not your fault. Let yourself feel sorrow for her death, but don't blame yourself. Only she knows why she did what she did. Accept that. You could help her other friends and family through this. That could help you in the grieving process too.

Answer 8

I am sorry for your loss give it some time remember the great times they are the ones that made your friendship. God loves you and will take you through this
Christina

Answer 9

my sympathy to you and the family
it's never easy
she must have had severe depression, I know what that's like
I've been in the hospital a few times with it, but i find any useless way I can to keep going, even though I know it's all a bunch of crap