Please advice what I should do for this love?

Question

Hi all, I need your advice what I should do: move on or continue?

I fell in love with a married woman who has a very unhappy marriage. Her husband disrepects her and treats like a free servant. Here are some examples: her husband force her to be the only one in family responsible for cooking everyday, but himself never cooks. Her husband force her to admit faults which is not hers. Her hsband told her to find way enjoying herself becasue he can't spend time with her. Her husband asks her to take care of herself because he is busy. Her husband ask her to abort their child 3 times because he think they don't have enough money(in fact they have more 2 million chinese yuan in bank account).

She is unhappy, and she fell in love with me. However, she felt guilty to leave her husband, not wanting to hurt him. So she decided to end our relationship even if she loves me. What should I do? continue to keep contacting her or should I move on my life? I know she still loves me. Please help!

I know it is a true love, I know myself that I love her very much. It is really hard for me to walk away from this love.

And she told me that we met at wrong time, either we should meet at earlier before she married, or we should meet several years later. What I interpret this is she do love me very much. She just can't get rid of her guilty feeling.

Answer 1

Oh Dear! You have gotten yourself into a pickle! Please do yourself a favor and let go and move on. Obviously, she is being abused and until she is ready to help herself through counseling she will never be good for you or anyone. Not even herself. She will continue to stay with her abusive husband and you you will always be ON THE SIDE. You deserve a loving, caring relationship with a woman who will be devoted to you 100%. A married woman cannot be that woman for you. I'm sure you two do love each other, but is this the kind of love you want to accept? Life is too short for all the pain you are experiencing through this relationship. You will heal. Pray to let go of something that is not good for you, something that will only cause you pain and misery. Pray for another women to come into your life to fulfill ALL of your dreams and desires. Also, ask yourself WHY you would want to be in a relationship with a woman who is with another man, married or not. Don't you want exclusive "rights" to the one you love? Don't you want to hold your lady every night and wake up next to her every morning? Don't you want to spend all the holidays with your special love? You can't have any of those things being involved with a married woman. Good luck and God Bless. LL

Answer 2

Ok so the married woman thing I know too well, first, If something has happened affair wise with the two of you, you are to blame, period, It's your fault, you moved on a married woman. There is a time and a place for all things, statements, kisses, hugs, even love. You are put into a position where you are certain that you and this person are meant to be together, and for me to explain the way you should have handled this, I probably should have known before something happened. Ok so first, be right allways, think about your actions, the moral implecations of them. Be nice, I'm not talking fake nice, but be there. Give her NO ADVICE about her relationship and explain to her that it would be bias advice because you like her. Do not push your way in. Talk to her, be her friend, be patient. Even if she makes a move to you do not accept because she is married and if you do not only did she committ adultury but you did also. Wait for her, or don't, It doesn't matter but if you let yourself get weak and spark up the relationship and bring it to that level you could very well have ruined it for yourself. Ultamately, in a situation like that you can't be a man, you have to be an angel. She may be the one for you and if so it will happen, but if she's really not at least you made a great friend in the process and didn't hurt anyone.

Answer 3

Maybe she still loves her husband. Often times when a person in a relationship such as yours, they will find every reason to blame their spouse for their infidelity. Remember there are two sides to everything. All the extra attention she is getting from you can be very enticing and exciting at the moment. In reality, is she in love with you or is she infatuated with the excitement? There obviously is a real problem which she seems to be trying to sort out. Give her time and space. She has got to decide on her own what is best for her. Do you really love someone who is married to another person? There are many more "fish in the sea" and probably one bigger better and less heartache. This may not sound like good advice at the moment but wait and you may feel differently at a later time.

Answer 4

Move on. You maybe find temporary happiness with her but in the long run your creating problem and involving yourself in a very serious headache. Im sure you can find someone else that is more deserving of your love and care that is free and not complicated and no obligation. It's her life to be married with her husband. chinese have there culture and belief that is quite different from others including being a wife specially with the oldest son of the family etc...anyway, while you can and still have the option get out from that situation and try to save your happiness.

Answer 5

This is a loaded question. If I were you, I would try my best to get her to divorce that creep husband and marry you. You have to think about the future and responsibility with someone else's children, though. You make it sound like she has a lot of money and she does not want to jeopardize the security of that for her and her children. I also would not want you to look like a fool if she left her husband, got with you and then married some rich guy. That's some heavy emotional burdens that need to be thought of all the way through. Good luck.

Answer 6

if she loves you as she says, she will get a divorce and not have you waiting for her husbands left overs...U need to move on if shes ending the relationship with you. If she is unhappy with her husband she would have left him along time ago, maybe she is just telling you about the bad treatment for you to stick around, she doesnt want to lose her husband and or U....She needs to make a choice and if you really want to be with her and love her, have her decide whom she really wants to be with. I have a feeling she is unhappy but not because of her husband mistreating her, she is unhappy because she doesnt know wht to do with 2 men. Ask her to make a decision if she cant....let her go and look for someone that can give you all her love, im sure you deserve better than having a plate full of leftovers.....

Good Luck

Answer 7

She may be unhappy in her marriage but you are not the solution.
Yes, move on with your life. And in the future, stay out of relationships with married women. I do hope that you think you yourself might get married someday. As you deal with the difficult trivial daily issues of a committed marriage someday, ask yourself if you will want your married wife acting like a single woman.
The answer will be no. You say that her husband disrespects her. If there is disrespect here, it is disrespect on her part and your part for the institution of marriage and the vows she took.

Answer 8

Many of the other answers are correct. First of all it is her marriage if she chooses to stay that is her choice. You should not pressure her even if you love her. Second remember if she cheated on her husband no matter how bad he is she will cheat on you or you will always have that in your mind. You are also showing yourself to be selfish by insisting that she be with you. The most unselfish thing to do would be to let her make her own decisions. If she gets a divorce and wants to marry you that'd be great but she is now choosing to stay. She is also vulnerable and taking advantage of her situation is not a good thing. She needs to be in her "right" mind so to speak. Able to make wise decisions. If her husband is as you say he is she is not there. When she gets there she will be able to see things more clearly and able to make her own wise decisions.

Answer 9

BA-BY, this aint Jenny and Forrest Gump if she is all that unhappy, without a doubt she would leave him. she just dont want too, and right now you are just filling a void in her life that she is missing, Number one playa rule dont fall in love with a married person. If it was about you she would be with you not her jerk of a husband. there are too many single beautiful, intelligent women looking for a man like yourself. so move on, just cause she loves you and you love her doesnt mean that its an insurance that y'all will be together. and besides as soon as you move on, then she might try to make some moves, but hopefully in your case you would have found someone else....

Answer 10

That is her choice. She chooses to be with him and not with you. She is married and has made her choice to stay married. Move on.

Besides, they are Chinese? Do you really think having children is a good idea? There is no denying the major population problems! He might just be saying that money is an issue when really he's just a smart guy that accepts the population problem and his wife? He's afraid she won't get it. Especially since she was pregnant or wishing to be pregnant since these desires are entirely irrational.