My 22 year old son just found out that one of the men he was intimate with recently has tested positive for HIV. He did use protection but I think he's really frightened. How do I best support him while he waits for testing? It hasn't been 6 to 8 weeks yet.
2007-04-25 14:04:53 · 19 answers · asked by PJJ 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Creole, exactly why is it that you think my son needs therapy? He has a good job with a bright future. He is pratical, responsible, well adjusted, and just down right amazing! He used protection! If it's because he's gay, then get stuffed!!! This is just a small hiccup in his life, and I just want to be there for him in whatever way I can.
2007-04-25 15:19:02 · update #1
Dr Doris, the only one here who is likely to find their way to hell is you! Intolerance is a sign of a sick mind! Get help!
2007-04-25 15:21:00 · update #2
Ghanmy, thanks for the info on how HIV is spread! DUH!!!!! My son is not DEFECTIVE! He is gay. There is nothing about him that needs changing or fixing. He regularly attends a sexual health clinic, and he is careful, but after all..he's 22 and single. And rather hansome if you ask me! http://farm1.static.flickr.com/200/466131268_9b1cc629b9_m.jpg
2007-04-25 18:48:20 · update #3
I guess I am lucky in the sense that one of my dearest friends is also positive. In fact, he was making funeral arrangements for himself a year ago, due to an HIV related cancer, but he's come through with flying colours and is going great. I have no "fear" of HIV. I just want my son to get through this waiting period as painlessly as possible. If he does test postive, I won't love him any less.
2007-04-26 14:09:46 · update #4
check out some natural alternatives to boosting the immune system. If he tests, negative let him be aware of future encounters.and to use protection.
2007-04-25 14:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
I was in exactly the same situation a couple of years ago and I can tell you from experience just be his mom and let him know how much you love and support him . Be there for him to talk to and to hold him if he needs a hug or a cry , hold his hand if he need support . Other than that there is nothing you can do but wait with him , but the fact that you have let him know that you are there for him has already meant the world to him . Just keep being the great mom you are .
2007-04-25 21:46:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Buffy and Lordwashu13 have given you some very good advice, but I would also like to add that you, too, will need a supportive shoulder as well as your son.
Right now, you may be feeling like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders -- or at least a large portion of it. Be there for your son, but also do what you have to do to ease YOUR mind during this trying time, as well.
Many HIV/AIDS Service Organizations across the country offer support groups and counseling for people while they are waiting on their results, as well as family members, loved ones, partners, and friends of the person being tested. If you really think that you need it, seek out your local HIV/AIDS Service Organization for further assistance. If you are unable to locate one yourself, contact your local Health Department and they can direct you to someone who can assist.
I wish you and your son the best health and long future (which both he and you will have).
2007-04-25 21:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by art_is_my_religion 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Easy, just be there for him. Don't try to solve his problems or ease his mind, because you can't. He may or may not have a terminal illness; now is a perfect time to break down any longstanding walls that exist in your relationship (if there are any) and to make sure he knows that you love him absolutely. If there's any confessions that need to be made, or forgiveness that needs to be granted on either side, relieving his soul of those would certainly help him bear his burden. Don't constantly try to comfort him with "oh the odds of you getting it are so low!" or "medical technology these days is looking bright" or whatever. Just shut up and really listen, listen to his fears and by simply paying full attention and not interjecting with your own hopes and fears for the situation, he will know that someone is truly there with him in this brutal world. Which is the most comfort you can grant him right now.
2007-04-25 21:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by lordwashu13 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Being there for him is one of the best supports you could be. There are several chapters that can help, I think Death mentioned them. Blessings to you and your family.
If his test ends up coming back positive, it's important to let him know in this day and age, his life is far from over. He will have a lifetime of medicine regimine, but with your support and love, he can do that. If his test comes back negative, this should be a wakeup call to always protect yourself, because you never know when you sleep with someone.
2007-04-26 06:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi PJJ,
Sorry to hear about your son... but I'm sure he will be fine. Like you said, he used protection...
It's going to be a hard couple off weeks for the two of you...the only thing you can do is to be supportive to one another...
He already has a lot of luck to have a mother like you who will stand by him no matter what. Just be there for him when he needs to talk and forgive him if he should get angry ones in a while, it's just stress...
I know it will be hard but the best way in approaching him, I think, is to act as you would normally do... when he needs comforting he'll probably come to you....just hug him and tell him how much you love him no matter what....
All my love,
Cisje
2007-04-26 02:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank goodness he has you. I am very sorry to hear about your son's friend, that is devastating. I hope that you and your son will have good news very soon, and that your love for one another carries you through this tough period. I wish that you never have a scare like this again, and that your family is always protected. Please take care of each other, and may all blessings be with you. Continue to be the wonderful parent you are, he is very lucky to have you, especially a parent at a time like this, thankfully he is not alone, and neither are you. Good luck to you both!!
2007-04-25 21:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Right now he needs your emotional support and to show that you do not fear your son because he may have contracted HIV. Remind him that he did use protection and most likely he will test negative. Treat him like you always do and be there for him when he needs to talk to someone
2007-04-25 23:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be sure he knows it changes nothing in your eyes & most of all, be there for him - he doesn't have to go through this alone.
Education on treatments & life with the disease can take away some of his fear. Make sure he knows that current treatments can make life with the disease very livable. It's not a death sentence.
He's lucky to have a dad like you.
2007-04-26 15:15:43 · answer #9 · answered by Charlie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SON!
Contact your nearest PFLAG CHAPTER! GET INFORMATION ON HIV/AIDS FROM THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES!
GAY MEN'S HEALTH CRISIS
http://www.gmhc.org/health/basics.html
PFLAG EDUCATION PROGRAMS
http://www.pflag.org/index.php?id=search#2985c0d5fb2a6bfbc25f4b4950214cb8
HIV EDUCATION AND LAW PROJECT
http://www.helpinclaw.com/
BETTER EXISTENCE WITH HIV
http://www.behiv.org/
CDC (Centers for Disease Control ~ "How HIV Testing Works"~)
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/testing/resources/qa/tests_work.htm
LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY AS YOU ALREADY DO!
BE THERE FOR HIM
KEEP HIS SPIRITS UP WHILE HE WAITS BEFORE HE CAN TEST
SEND HIM ALL OUR LOVE AS WELL!!
2007-04-26 02:39:34 · answer #10 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I am waiting for my test to come back and I don't think I have HIV so it's a little easier for me, but all I can say is keep his mind off of it as best as possible and let him know that it's not like he's one of this ignorant bastard on ur answering page that keep saying he is going to die and see Satan who I am going to report
2007-04-25 21:39:30 · answer #11 · answered by Reporter_Boy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋