For the last couple of years, I have found it hard to make direct eye contact with other people while talking to them because when I make direct eye contact with them while talking, I feel like they are harshly judging me and I get kind of nervous. Is this bad? Is this some sort of disorder? It seems to be getting worse, and I used to never be like this, EVER.....
Help?!
2007-04-25 13:17:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am also 17 years old, just so you know.......
2007-04-25 13:30:39 · update #1
Sounds like a bit of social anxiety. You can work on this by practicing in front of a mirror, like you're speaking with someone, making eye contact with yourself. This is effective because you are your own worst critic. If you can impress you, you can impress anyone. It's nothing that can not be solved. Don't worry that anyone is thinking negatively about you. They are probably wishing that you would look at them, because they want to talk to you and be your friend and get to know you. I hope this helps you.
2007-04-25 13:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I find it a little difficult too. Do you really mean "harshly judging you?" I suppose I can also find gazes judgmental. I am not sure of the reason but I would guess it has something to do with already existent fears and uncertainties. Direct eye contact is a pretty social act in a lot of mammals anyways, so it's not like it is a completely human phenomenon.
Shyness would probably contribute to this also. The fact that you said you never used to be like this is something to consider, though- are you a teenager? I didn't consider such things when I was younger either.
If you are older, however, it could certainly be linked to an event.
Not sure what else to say...
2007-04-25 13:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Robinson0120 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always been this way and have fought it head on. I've finally come to realize that most people are as or more socially uncomfortable than I am. Very few people actually make eye contact. When done right it conveys confidence and trustworthiness, when done wrong it comes across as overly aggressive. The stakes are too high for most people. If you want to take control of a conversation, make and maintain direct eye contact- the other party will not be able to keep up. Trust me, they're not harshly judging- they're scared out of their wits themselves and just trying to keep up a brave face.
2007-04-25 13:30:56 · answer #3 · answered by daix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same thing. Even with some of my friends this happens. I think it just gets strange to stare someone in the eye for a very long time. Even when I have staring contests in the middle of class, I feel uncomfortable. Almost like someone is watching. lol
I think you just have to be really comfortable with a person to make direct eye contact for a stretch of time. Atleast, that's how it is with me.
2007-04-25 13:25:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Issues of Shame are surfacing. Consider choices you have made and how you feel about these choices. Self condemnation could be projected onto others and then perceived as their own harsh judgments, when in fact you are judging yourself through their eyes. The solution to your problem lies within yourself, with your own self acceptance.
2007-04-25 13:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by SIGGY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me, I got reeeeally self concious after I was in a school where I WAS the center of gossip or whatever, and then it stuck when I came back....I don't look at people either come to think of it, till I know them well. sub conciously think they are all muttering about ME still (I over heard plenty in the other place...)
17 though? hum. well, best I got for you then with what you said.
Is it for EVERYONE? or just guys? or those you don't know?
can't shut my mouth off once you know me...computer some too, looks like
Luck to you
Reft
2007-04-25 13:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by Reft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you just shy? I feel awkward looking directly into others eyes too. Just casually glance in their eyes, then glance away through out the conversation. See if that helps!
2007-04-25 13:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by crazycatlady4real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am shy, but I make eye contact with ppl. when they talk to me..but it is starting to feel akward..I have a friend who is the same way...it's probably just natural..I don't think there is anything that you should worry about!!!
2007-04-25 13:27:04 · answer #8 · answered by Awesome Person 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are fine and do not worry about it. They are judging you but every one that sees or thinks of you is also a judge. It's a human trait.
2007-04-25 13:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem but I'm getting more used to it now, I think it just gets better over time.
2007-04-25 13:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by scorpion43_db 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋