How do I make a decision?

Question

I have troulble realizing what I truly want, I'm always trying to please. Any help? Soon? Pro con lists don't work for me, and I'm at a loss.

Answer 1

Nina. How old are you? No one under the age of death truly knows what they want because it's always changing. You may have a path you choose, and you may have a thought in your head, but I can gurantee you that the path you take to the thought in your head are not the ones that you thought of in the first place.
Life is a tangled web, and that's half the fun. You make a chouce(decision) and go that way....when you come to a crossroads, you decide on a direction. These are things and situations you cannot plan on or for. And while you may "save for a rainy day" or "prepare yourself for the worst", life has a funny way of throwing you for a loop that you were never prepared for. And keep in mind? Loops are what makes life interesting and worth the ride.

You can make your pros and cons list all you want, but they only go so far, unless you plan on spending each day making a list of the pros and cons of living...

good luck to you and enjoy your journey............... :)

Answer 2

The heart of your dilemma is . . . you don't trust yourself, and in the past you haven't been willing to take the time to learn to trust yourself.

What I'm about to share with you has worked for thousands of people. And since I've invested my personal time to answer you, you owe me the consideration of simply deciding to make this work for you and following through. Congratulations on your upcoming breakthrough!

The first thing you need to think about is what an incredibly miraculous being you are. You wake up every day, don't you? If you didn't trust that part of yourself that is responsible for breathing and digesting your food and moving all 126 muscles in the right sequence that enables you to lift a single finger without even thinking about it, where would you be? So you know you can trust yourself at many different levels.

I'm writing you from the perspective of a person who studies word patterns. When you say you "have trouble realizing what you truly want," you are in essence refusing to answer the question, what do you truly want?

In other words, if we were face to face and I said, what do you want in life? Your answer would probably be some form of, "I don't know." I would then say to you, "what would you say if you did know?" You would most likely look at me blankly for a long moment and eventually, upon my insistence, slowly begin to think about what you really want.

You have developed a certain pattern of thinking called a strategy. A very common reason for this particular strategy is you don't believe you deserve to get what you want. This, I can assure you is a faulty belief. The very fact you are asking for help shows a disposition for improvement and makes you a worthy and meaningful contributor to society. Having said that, change is hard work, but many times simple.

Try this. Ask yourself what you really want out of a situation. Notice the first thing that happens. Do you hear a voice, see an image, say something to yourself? It's probably a feeling that shuts down your thought process. Whatever it is, this time we are going to change the way it affects you. Because this time is different from all those other times.

You are committed to getting an answer.

So ask yourself the question again, keeping your head still. Look upward with your eyes and force yourself to create the scenarios that will make you happy.

By averting your eyes upward, you are activating a visual thought process and thereby skipping over the visceral, or emotional experience that shuts down your thinking.

Answer 3

Yes, I am a people pleaser, too...although, I am starting to get over it! I have found the appreciation level is often pretty low.

You just have to start being a little more selfish. You will always feel 'strung out' if you are doing things for other people all of the time.

When you are going through your days, pay attention to when you are the happiest. When you realize there are certain things that seem to make you happy...say scrap booking, or jogging, or writing/drawing...find ways to do more of this one thing. Get on the Internet and type the subject in...go to a group meeting where others are doing this thing.

Direct most of your attention at accomplishing things in this one area. Don't be distracted.

People who accomplish things develop the habit of staying with one subject until they conquer it. You cannot be lazy or you will be asking this same question when you are 60!

Answer 4

A decision is based on your ability to apply.
A decision is a thought you have made, unless a plan of action has taken place.

1 what you should ask yourself what do i like?
try not to worry about others. unless you are selfish
is this right for you &your family

2 how will this effect you & your family?
will it have a good effect?
and if not why?

The spirit of GOD should be at the begining of every decision.

3 decision should not be based on your feelings, because
when we do this we are looking for instant gratifaction;
and thats what you will recieve.

4 someone told me make a decision and stick with it .
with love their is no pain only change.
one thing about decision makeing it is a learning process;
we learn from our mistakes the good bad &the ugly.
So it depends on what type of decision you need to make, but pain, sometimes is a option but honesty is usually your best decision, unless you are trying to free your self at the expense of someone else, or honesty is going to cost you your life, then you might want to ask is this worth dieing for? because a man who does not stand for anything stands for nothing, I hope this help, I need more info.

And one other thing track what is the bases of these decision,
where is the information coming from, especially if every decision you are makeing turns out horrible, in this case you might need to find a support group, or some other form counseling, because your decision may be based on some type of neglect, fear, abuse, codependancy etc. and if so, then you might understand, why the outcome is unsuccessfullnes, people who have been abandon, abused, or are full of fear, there decision process has been altered; from their psyche, and if the psyche is not normal, there decision can't be unless there is some form of therapy .

Answer 5

Sing HU and look to your Heart.

An Invitation to Sing HU
You are invited to try this simple spiritual exercise. It has helped people of many different faiths open their hearts more fully to the uplifting presence of God.

To do the exercise, first get comfortable. Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Next, gently put your attention on your inner visual screen, where daydreams and images come to you.

With your eyes closed, sing HU (pronounced like the word hue) as a song of love. There are many ways to experience the love of God. You may notice a feeling of peace, warmth, and comfort. You may also recognize the presence of the Divine through greater spiritual insights into your daily life.

Answer 6

i have anxiety for the same reason. i am super indecisive and when it comes to making a decision i usually base my options around what will make other people happy. i know it's difficult but at some point you have to take a step back and figure out what is best for YOU, and make a decision based on what it is you are looking for. think about what makes you happy deep down and follow that feeling to the ends of the earth. inevitably those who truly care about you will respect your decision because it makes you happy.

Answer 7

Pleasing others is a full time job in and of itself. You can continue to do so, but remember that you will never be able to please everyone. Unfortunately, a pleaser will soon become someone who is regretful and resentful.

A pleaser can very quickly become the "martyr" who quickly turns over any happiness in life in service to others.

Finding balance between pleasing yourself and pleasing others is a much better position to be in.

Answer 8

It's not so much being able to make decisions,that's a problem but being able to bear the consequences,of said decision

Answer 9

i just do what i think is right, thats all anyone can ask of you.