Men how do you?

Question

When wife works full time, how does she get husband to share in responsibilities and eliminate stress when asking does not work?

Don't say give him sex. I sleep in a different bedroom and do not like sex. He says he will not help because he works 14 hours a day 7 days a week. That brings in a lot of money, but I want him to help me more.

Answer 1

Marry me instead of that jerk...

Answer 2

One day after work, don't go right home. Go somewhere quiet where you can think. Take a snack and something to drink.

Now, think about all of the chores needing to be done at home on a weekly basis. Make a list of them. Include cooking and doing dishes and all the housecleaning, shopping, laundry, yard work, auto maintenance, walking the dog, feeding the dog, bathing the dog, etc. It's going to be one heck of list when you see it all on paper.

Now, I assume he works full time too. Right?

Catagorize the items into three sections.

Easy, Ok, and Pain in the axs.

Tell him that for every one that he chooses to make his regular responsibility, you will pick one from the same catagory and do the same. Don't start until he does. When he's searching for his cleanest pair of dirty socks and can't find a clean towel he will begin to reevaluate things a bit.

He's not doing anything because you are doing them. Stop doing them and stop the bitching about it. It's time for action.

Plan B.
If Plan A gets no results or takes awhile to kick in, just take care of yourself. Do only your own laundry Buy only your own food. Fix only your own meals. If he complains, remind him that you no longer have the energy to do it all since you get no help and that from now on he will need to fend for himself unless he wants begin to shoulder some of the responsibility.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

it has a lot to do with his upbringing. if he was raised in a home where the woman done all housework then it is not goin to be easy.first you have to discuss the responsabiltys of the household and let him know that you cannot do it on your own anymore. when he says he understands leave it at that. then next week when he wants to know where his clean clothes are say "oh,im sorr, thought you were handling that part of your household chores this week", after this happens several times he will get the picture

Answer 4

sounds awful, but just quit for a while. Let it go undone and wait until he comments on it. (hopefully he will before the house is condemned) your answer is "we both work full time and I am not doing any less than you around here. If you would like to help, we can get this place back in shape and keep it in shape." --- Of course if you have kids don't let them do without!

Answer 5

If he makes a lot of money hire a maid! If i worked 14hrs a day seven days a week the last thing I would want to do is housework!

Answer 6

One thought is to get a housekeeper to come in certain times of the week. You both split the bill and it doesn't cost that much. Saves you the headache of trying to get him to do things he obviously doesn't want to do. You could look at both an individual (want ads) or use a service like Merry Maids.
It's an idea anyway.......

Answer 7

complain like crazy, act like ur tired and u shouldn't have to pick up after everyone all the time......i tried that too, i even mowed the lawns after work, thinkin that would help w/chores on the inside, i did all groc shoppin, some men feel like no matter what, it's the women's job, so, complain or let it get real messy, do ur laundry, dishes, ur bath area but that may not work cuz u probably don't like that either, i didn't, good luck

Answer 8

Try getting a new husband if he's that much of an a$$. If he can't help you with simple things like that, then I am sure he is lacking in other areas of your marriage also. And if he's perfect in every way but this, consider yourself lucky and quit complaining.

Answer 9

My wife and I made out a list of the monthly chores and then we each picked one until they were all spoken for. Before that I really didn't understand how much time and effort it took (or how many chores there were) to keep our house looking nice.

Answer 10

I used to have such a hard time with that . . now I realize that it's not really her responsibility, she does it out of love. So my helping anywhere I can shows love back. I specifically do dishes and laundry.

The only magic I had was going to a men's study thorugh my church to learn what God's will is for men and women. It's pretty awesome.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205:21-33;&version=51;

Answer 11

Write down the chores he needs to do each day.

My husband was a stay-at-home dad for a year, and each day I would write a list of things he had to accomplish. Sure enough, he would complete each list each day.

Are people really that lazy that they won't just COMMUNICATE? Sheesh. If you want something done, TELL HIM! He can't read your mind! That's communication 101!