self-centered?

Question

This one friend of mine always says that I am self centered and oblivious. While oblivious may be true, I have never seen myself as self-centered. I always try to help people but a lot of times I don't know what to do, so I stay quiet, hoping they will ask for something. If I tell them I don't know what to do they say it is because I am oblivious to everything around me. I don't try to let it float over my head, I'm just a little naive at times. I admit that. I just don't understand why she doesn't see that I try to help and a lot of time when I do succeed in seeing a problem and know what to do, she gets angry. I truly care about this person but I've just about had enough.

Answer 1

I have found that most women aren't seeking help. They just want sympathy. Someone to cry along with them.

When someone tries to help them instead of just giving sympathy they see it as oblivious or insensitive.

This is often how guys are viewed because we're all about getting things done and solving problems. Just whining about something doesn't even enter our mind, we just start thinking of ways to fix the issue. Yeah often times we may not know how to fix it, but that doesn't mean we wont try. And it's especially hard if we aren't told what the heck is wrong in the first place.

I'm not saying you're a guy, but it's refreshing to see a woman experiencing this.

Answer 2

Uh, if she gets angry at you for helping someone and knowing what to do, what kind of friend is she? Doesn't she WANT you to help? Isn't that what she was just scolding you about? I think she's got to get her priorities straight. Ask her this. If she can't answer truthfully and reasonably, I don't think she should be called your friend again. This sounds very much like Julia and Carmen in the last book of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." (Which, by the way, was a very good book. Read it sometime. ;P)

Answer 3

You know, sometimes it is just difficult to change people's opinion, but in the grand scheme of things, what matters is what you think of yourself. You can just laugh at what other people think of you as long as you are not a person who hurts others. If you try to do what is best for them, well, at least you know that, and God knows that, and the rest does not matter. We can only do the best we can; the rest will fall into place. Life is not a contest, just do your best, help as many people as you can, and enjoy the ride as much as you can! Be good and peace!

Answer 4

You know, it is much more important how you see yourself than how she sees you! If you know that you are not self-centered and work to be a giver, then forget what she says! I doubt that she is a professional and you have to learn to take what others say with "a grain of salt." You know in your heart and that is what matters!