why am i like this...please serious helpful answers only!?

Question

I am going to level with my YA friends...
I am a scorpio woman who is very independant, i just had my first baby, and i am currently getting a divorce from a scorpio man who is cuntroling , mentally abusive, manipulative, has OCD and has lied and cheated on me.
so my question to you is why am i hanging or, or am possibly still in love with a man like this. what is wrong with me? I am strong in every other aspect of my life and i had a great childhood with both parents.
PLEASE ONLY SERIOUS ANSWERS!

Answer 1

Well, you're still hanging because at one time the relationship was good and loving enough to get married and have a child. Now it's not, and yes it hurts, but you need to think about a few things here...
He's abusive towards you, controlling, etc. - do you want him to do this to your child? Do you want a brow-beaten child who fears his/her father that you can't help because you're also being controlled?
He's lied and cheated on you - do you want to risk getting a disease or hearing that he's gotten someone else pregnant? Do you want you child to think this behavior is OK? Do you think that maybe if he can lie to you, he could lie to his kid, too?
As an adult, you can control whether or not you're going to let someone emotionally abuse you and lie to you and treat you like crap - you can get out of the situation. A child has no choice but to be there as long as you are.
Let him go, focus on you and the little one, spend time with YOUR friends and family (mutual friends are really hard for awhile) and show him that he's got nothing on you. In time, you'll start to feel better about it, realize you've done the best thing you coud do, and you'll be able to move on. Good luck.

Answer 2

It sounds to me that you are unsure you are going to raise this child on your own and taking away the father figure in it's life. In any relationship like this you have to realize that the control and mental abuse, will one day turn into control and physical abuse it is only a matter of time. You are scared to be alone at this time and well having a newborn is hard. You have to find yourself a support team like family and move back home until you get back on your feet.

You have the courage and bravery to get out of this marriage
where most women would just put up with the crap and abuse and I commend you for that.

There is nothing wrong with you first off you thought this guy was your one true love. You never thought he could treat you badly and well he did. But you still have love for him because of what you had with him before he turned into a selfish P R I C K.

You will find a man that will treat you with the respect you deserve it may take some time or it may be right around the corner.

God Bless and Good Luck.

Answer 3

I was in the same situation, he was very abusive and controling. I took my young son and ran, but after a month or so of being on my own I wanted to go back, I kept hanging on to him but with the help of family & friends I moved on. I think alot of the reason I was hanging on was 1. because I didn't want to be alone and 2. my mom stayed with my dad (he cheated all the time) for us kids. She has said several times she wasn't sure if that was the right choice. My son is 13 now and a great kid, he is doing just fine and he is very happy. I hope this helps, oh yea, last year I met a guy who makes me happy in every way, he treats me like a princess. He asked me to marry him on valentines day. Trust me you can make it there are great guys out there. PS He's a scorpio

Answer 4

You said your getting a divorce from this man, therefore your not hanging on anymore. So there is nothing wrong with you. Your scared right now. Confused. And feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. All of which is very normal. You also say your strong. So keep saying that over and over again. Make signs saying so and put them up all over your house because your going to have times that you forget. Focus on your new baby. Make him/her the center of your life right now and getting rid of your ex secondary. Soon, you'll be out of the bad situation and you'll feel like a new woman. Then remember that everyday is a gift so go out and make it count. Have fun on a daily basis. Plan outings and social events so you always have something to look forward to. But don't back down. You deserve to have a great life and your baby will be so much happier as time goes by seeing his mother happy. Good luck to you

Answer 5

What you are going through is normal, the feelings are because you now have a bond. Weather you realized it or not. When you have a child with a man your feelings always change and it kinda makes you feel like you can't break away and the truth is you are only as stong as you allow yourself to be. When the problem gets to the point you have nothing else to give you will get strong and be able to do what you need to. I went through the same thing at the ripe age of 16 and learned a lot from it. Good Luck

Answer 6

You are lonely , your not use to being alone at night and you miss having someone around. Best thing to do get a room mate or go somewhere like at some relatives and stay for awhile , your missing him only because your sitting at home alone starring at 4 walls. You need company , your needing someone to talk with go somewhere with if it is just shopping after work. Find something to do and someone to spend your time with, don't be alone at night. I was the same way my husband was like yours very abusive and mentally controlling, I didn't want him anymore but I stayed at home and I almost went nuts, I moved in with my aunt for awhile and started going out my friends and woke up one night and out of the blue , I thought what have I been doing to myself . I knew my life was finally back on track move back home and kept going out with my friends and I was happier than I had ever been. You just use to having him around that is all it is, okay. Get your life back together and have good time while your doing it anyway that makes you happy.

Answer 7

Possibly because you wanted it to work, because you have a baby, because he wasn't always like this, because you think it has failed (most of us don't get married to get divorced).

You are going through typical loss reactions, which happen even though he is a B******, because you did love him, and maybe still do.

By leaving him you are giving your child the best chance of a good childhood too. Well done for that. Enjoy your life and live positively.

Answer 8

That's a tough one. Some women I have seen are attracted to jerks. They just are, I don't know if they like the pain, or being subservient, or what, that's just what they like.

This doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you - it just means that you are attracted to this guy. You realize that this is not good for you, which is the first step, divorce is the second, and pretty soon, you'll be dating men who treat you right.

Answer 9

Could it be because of the baby? A lot of women stay in a relationship for that reason. Do you love him or are you afraid of being alone/single parent? Just search your heart and try to see things for what they really are. If he is controlling now, how will it be if you stay for a longer period of time? I don't think anything is wrong with you, it is confusing being a new mom and in a possibly bad relationship. HTH

Answer 10

Is it possible you're still in love with him because he is a strong man and you're attracted to that as a woman? Just because you're attracted to a man who is stronger than you doesn't make you less strong. Have you tried being submissive to him? Many husbands who seem quite rough will become exceedingly gentle with a woman who is respectful and submissive. You have a baby, so I hope you are able to work it out. Divorce is so ugly, especially for the innocent kids involved.