I'm always telling the people that I work with that I don't want to go out with them - cause I don't.
I have to spend 6 to 8 hours a day with them - I"d like my free time to myself to do what I'd like to do.
They always seem to get their feelings hurt - I don't mean that I don't ike them - I just don't want to spend my free time feeling like I'm still at work.
2007-04-25 10:38:59 · 9 answers · asked by Kaybee 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Good on you - and stick to your guns. Work friends inevitably talk about work when they socialize...often it is their only common denominator. Sadly, they seem to use that social bond to further their careers or allow it to overflow into the workplace. This could end up alienating you in your workplace...which isn't fair.
Perhaps it would be better for you to explain that you would like to, but cannot possibly go out with the folks afterwork. If you let them know that you have obligations outside the office that require you getting home immediately, they wouldn't feel as though you don't like them. Of course, this is pandering to them...and you shouldn't have to do that...but sometimes we have to do things just to make our path a little easier.
2007-04-25 10:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, antisocial is a person who has no care, compassion or empathy, usually a killer, so I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about that!
You are not very social, or introverted and there's nothing wrong with that. It's been asked a few times, search for it and see what everybody's said. A lot of people need more time on their own than is average (myself included). Do what feels comfortable for you, and don't worry about what people think. If someone seems hurt, simply explain to them that that is the kind of person you are. I hear "Are you mad at me?" so many times! Just let them know that it's part of who you are, and it should be fine.
Make sure you don't have any symptoms of depression, just in case, but if that's not it, it's not a problem.
There is nothing wrong with you.
2007-04-25 19:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by Emily H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. I know how you feel.
Case in point: For a while, this kid at school kept trying to invite me over to his house. It got to the point where it was annoying... especially because I don't have a driver's license and didn't want to ask my parents (who had work) or my older brother (who was busy with college) to drive me. He then asked other friends if they could drive me... but THOSE friends didn't have that much time, either (only about a half-hour window for each). I kept trying to tell him it wasn't that important, but he didn't give up. Oh well...
Finally, I had to kindly but firmly tell him that it just wasn't gonna work out- especially because his parents are almost never home and we would be alone... which my parents didn't like the idea of. He's pretty much given up since then. You can't beat parents when it comes to spending an afternoon in someone's house. :-)
He's a nice kid and all, but like you said, I already spend 8 hours a day with my classmates... and I do like my free time. :-)
2007-04-25 17:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by ATWolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your reasons are understandable, but it is still a rejection. These days people spend more time with their coworkers than they do with family. As a result, many people rely on work to form friendships, sometimes even to find significant others. I'm not saying that you should go, I'm just saying that you need to be aware of how you may be perceived.
On a professional note, you may be shooting yourself in the foot. This is valuable networking time. You may find that opportunities pass you by because you weren't in a position to hear about them or because you aren't perceived as a team player.
2007-04-25 17:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being anti-social & I'd tell tell them to go get a life of their own. Why do people feel they can just cling to you all of the time just because you work with them?
2007-04-25 18:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by infidel-louie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not like someone and still be social... I do it all the time. Spend your free time as you see fit. Stay up all night on messenger, watch some movies, SLEEP. It doesn't mean you're anti social, it just means you're housebroken. =P
2007-04-25 17:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by Durr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, I don't think you are anti-social. I think it is just the opposite. You have a social life outside of work. A lot of people don't.
2007-04-25 18:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by gogirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well everyone on here is like no you are fine... it is ok.. you are not anti-social.... But in reality you are!!! Because in the Adult peer group setting your co-workers are part of your peer group. Although you dont really care for spending time with them, becuase they are your peer group group depending on how you reject them it is anti-social...
2007-04-25 18:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by Cairo St. James 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not. - You should be worried, if you hadn't any social contacts outside your work.
2007-04-25 17:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by LGM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋