Just married??with a big secret??

Question

I just got married 2.5 months but was unaware i was pregnant at the time.My bf and i dated 2 yrs he is 24 yrs old and i am 21 yrs old still in college.Before the wedding took place we took a 3.5 month break because he was not sure if he was ready for marriage.During the break i had a fling with an ex.bf who had been my first everything and we had flings before so i felt comfortable.Then my bf and i got back together month later we got married.I just found out i am almost 4 months pregnant and it cant be my husbands.Afraid dont know what to do?

I never told my hubby the fling i had while we were on break .Is my marriage over ?I dont think he will forgive me?

Answer 1

First you tell your husband that you are pregnant. Then tell him about your "fling". You don't want to keep this a secret. It will do nothing but bring you misery.

Answer 2

Now is the time for what is known as brutal honesty. You should've been honest about the "fling" prior to your marriage, but you weren't, and you obviously didn't use adequate protection during said "fling." Your husband needs to know this, as does the father of this baby. You do no one any good at all by trying to hide this, besides, you won't be able to for much longer if you're already 4 months along. You have some difficult decisions ahead of you. I wish you the best of luck.

p.s. No one can tell you if your marriage is over but you and your husband. I can tell you, it's going to be very difficult, and if you do decide to continue with the pregnancy (which I think you have to at this point, but not sure), I wouldn't reccommend keeping the baby if you remain married to your husband--he would see the child as a constant reminder of your infidelity, assuming he stays with you. If he's willing to stay with you, and keep the baby and raise the child like it were his own, I'd say you've married yourself one heck of a guy there, and I would make darned sure I never screw up again for the rest of my life. Like I said, you've got some very difficult decisions ahead of you in the next few months. But first you have to tell your husband and the father.

Answer 3

This is an example of a split second decision costing us a high price. People never realize how one tiny split second choice can change their entire lives. If you know for certain it can't be your husband's baby, then all you can do is tell him the truth. Tell him you weren't sure if he was coming back or not, and that it was just a "fling". For me, this would probably be a deal breaker, but if he really loves you, he may stay. For sure don't lie to hide this. It will only cause you more pain when the truth comes out, and it always does. Good luck.

Answer 4

You need to tell the truth. Do you really want to start a marriage that way? Is it fair to the child, the rightful dad? You need to sit down and talk to him. He will probably be upset at first. But let him think about it for a while. He might just surprise you. If he truly loves you he will stay with you. Plus he needed a break to see if he really wanted to get married. You mean he took a break so he could have his last fling. I think you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk.

Answer 5

sit him down and tell him that while you both were not together that you were with your ex and that you didn't know when you got married that you were pregnant but wanted to be honest with him because you do love him and would like to work things out. He's going to be hurt and angry but maybe he will understand that at the time you two were not together and the reason you didn't tell him was because you really didn't think it was going to matter. Tell him how you feel about this pregnancy and hopefully when the dust settles he will still be there for you.

Answer 6

You need to tell him, and I won't be suprised if the marriage ends then, or shortly after. Very few Marriages survive infidelity, and even more are less successful and happy if they try to pick up the pieces. He deserves the Truth, and you deserve peace of mind without a guilty conscious, especially since your pregnant with a child that isn't his. Good Fortunes.

Answer 7

Ouch, that is a tough one, but something you are not going to be able to hide for long. No time to come clean like the present and give him the chance to make an informed choice about staying or going. It will be much worse if he hears from another source and feels he is not the first to know.

Answer 8

You have to tell him, and soon. Of course the risk is that he will divorce you, but you have to understand that this is perfectly reasonable on his part. This is NOT his baby and you cannot trap him into raising the baby just because it fits your selfish needs.

The question is: How much do you love and trust him? If you have any compassion for him at all, tell him. If you don't have it, then you shouldn't be married to him to start with.

Answer 9

Well before anyone gets married they should let out all the skeletons out of their closets. But maybe he will leave you, or maybe not, Maybe he won't take the time to go back on the months and find out it's not his. SO if you tell him well there's a good chance you will losse him but if your lips are sealed maybe he won't be the wiser.

Answer 10

Well I guess you can say this is the law of sowing and reaping...you need to tell your husband. You need to get this off your chest...Is it possible that he will leave you? yes or he may say I don;t care I will raise the child as my own....On the other hand your new husband may not be able to understand and he may never trust you again and it may end in divorce....