getting out of the military and getting divorce?

Question

any advice one my situation: Im getting out in 5 months, Im married and living with the wife and I have no kids with her. Weve been married 3 years and she has just became a terrible person, plain and simple. I want to divorce and become a civilian again, those are my major goals. Please give me everything you can if you have any constructive advice.

three years of not liking the marriage its definatly nothing current and for your informations JAG does NOT do divorces

Answer 1

If you are unhappy in this situation then you need to take the steps necessary to take care of your goals. Find out legally what you can and have to do, even getting a consult with a divorce lawyer and gage the remaining part of your term to coincide with each other. Also finding out you total costs after all is said in done will help, you may have to pay her for being your wife. Then you should check with the army and find out there laws and regulations with this situation.

Breaking down each task in to a simpler form will help, get them done faster. Best of luck!

Answer 2

Many young people go into the military and get married, as if they see everyone else doing it and they follow the trend. Don't know how long you have been in the military, but 2 things you should know; 1. make sure that whatever training you got in the military can be transferred to the job market outside of the military. Its tough out here getting work if you don't have the right training. 2. Civilian life is different than military life. Less discipline, less structure. Some people need the structure to be successful. With that said, you will be going thru transition, now you want to add divorce with all that going on too. You will be divorcing the military and your wife at the same time. Big adjustment. Marriage is an-ongoing process. You both change over time. This is my 16th year married and I'm better at it than I was during my 1st 10 years.
My advice, take one step at a time. Don't over burden yourself. Life is too short. Lastly, try counseling at a church for your marriage. It may help.

Answer 3

First, realize where you are and don't lie about it. If you need a total change in your life, now is the perfect time and I would urge you to go for it. Be thankful there are no kids in the marriage that will be screwed up by this. Second, one question for you ... why did you marry her in the first place? Was she a terrible person plain and simple then? My guess is no. What made her this way in the last couple of years? How much are you, and this is the tough question, responsible for the way she is? Is she this way always or is she this way just because she is reacting to you? Be honest!

Answer 4

Congratulations on your Military service. I am confident that you served our country admirably. There are a few things that you should thoughtfully and prayerfully consider in this matter.

1. I would not suggest ending your marriage after three years because of a few tough issues that's created tension between you and the true Love of your life. You made a vow to her that you would stay with her for better or worse until death do you part. Take a step back and listen to your spouse. Perhaps she is crying out for affection and your understanding and you have failed to connect with her. This has created some resentment in your spouse and you are looking at her as if she is the problem. Both of you must admit that you both have failed each other in some areas of your marriage and then seek to reconcile those issues through counseling, prayer, and much patience.

2. Military life can also be hard on marriages. I am certain there have been times when your spouse has had to manage everything without you and this was no doubt very hard to do and still remain faithful to her marriage vows even when you were away serving your country. She spent many lonely nights and Holidays without your physical presence.

3. Civilian life marks a new beginning for both of you. Now you can really begin to build your marriage and focus on the dreams that you both have always had for each other. Build a house, have children, and start new careers together. You can do this if you don't give up so soon on each other. You know that deep down in your heart that you still Love her very much despite the conflict that both of you have had.

Keep hope alive. Forgive and forget. Don't focus on the negatives but build your marriage on the positives. We all have our challenges in marriage. Love often times grows through much conflict. Have you ever notice that a beautiful Rose is laden with Thorns? Such is the path of marriage. You cannot expect to have a Rose without its thorns. God bless both of you and I wish you well.

Take care and treat her with kindness and respect.

Answer 5

well, why is your wife a terrible person? did she cheat on you? I guess I feel that you made a commitment to her and that you should give her a chance to change especially since you will be getting out and leading a different life then military life. If she cheated on you...then I dont know...a divorce would be an option. I just feel that people run off and get divorced so easy now days..and besides no one said marriage is easy. You married her and loved her at some point. What happened?

Answer 6

My husband got out of service after his 4 yrs and it was really hard as a civilian, then again we had 2 kids and were expecting another. He then re-enlisted and things are alot easier. Your differ you have no kids and can go on. The wife problem don't know. My father has come to realize that after 8 yrs his wife is a nut job. Go about it with an attorney from the START. She may be a nut too when things get ugly. If it is truly not workable follow your heart with your brain included.

Answer 7

Cool, no kids are involved that's great and i am glad you were smart enough to not have kids until you really know a person and that can take time.
No more sex with this woman she might try and trap you, if you do use condoms and flush them down the toilet.
Just try and be friendly with her threw the hole process even if she is a meano. But keep your distance and don't go down old paths. As far as how ugly the divorce is going to be well, it shouldn't be that bad after only three years. Get a lawyer if you can. Good luck.

Answer 8

Do you own a home together? The most she could get from you would be alimony. I believe it's for half the years you've been married in most states, so it would be a year and a half for you. I would keep your plans hid from her, don't give her time to get a lawyer and file first. Depending on the state you also have to pay for her lawyer to if she doesn't work. It would be better if you could both agree and file together without lawyers but if she is a horrible person like you said, your best best is to get a lawyer and file for divorce before her. It sounds bad but play nice for now and kiss her *** if you have to but make her think there is nothing going on so you can file first. But good luck to you when you get home!!!!

Answer 9

Yes, definitely file for divorce. Life's too short to be unhappy.

I've been in/with the Military for 34 years though, so I can't go with your getting out. Maybe you should get the divorce first, then maybe you will have a better outlook at staying in.
Good luck either way.

Answer 10

Well, this is a good time for you to get a divorce. If you'd have been married 10 years or more, the army would've "handed" her 50% of your military retirement.

At this point, it's a matter of getting a good attorney, and splitting up the assets.

Thank god there are no kids involved.

Do what you can to not make this your own world-war at home.