Do you think it is possible to make a new friend of the opposite sex if you are married?

Question

Is it ok if it is just a new friend? How do you tell your husband/wife about your friend? I wouldn't want tohide anything.

Wow you guys are harsh today.
To Switch I am not gay and I said a friend of the opposite sex.
To Jewells: I said I dont want to hide anything!!

Answer 1

I'm guessing that you might like this person a little more than just friends, think about it...you could be walking on dangerous territory. If I am wrong just tell your spouse about your new friend.

Answer 2

Here's what I think about having friends of the opposite sex. I think that it's fine if you only hang out and stuff with your spouse. I think that you are headed for trouble if you two just hang out alone. When you are close friends with someone (either sex) you have similar interests and enjoy each others company. It is very easy to confuse friendship for a potential relationship when it is a person of the opposite sex. Especially when there is stress in your marital relationship, that can make this friend seem very attractive because they will listen and be sympathetic and supportive of your feelings.
I wouldn't like it if my husband introduced a "new" girlfriend.

Answer 3

well, the simple answer to your stated question is 'YES'. there are many cases of men and women being plutonic friends. I have a few female friends that are married (and some that I am better friends with the female than the male). This happens a lot when you are friends with the female first (i.e. knew her before she got married, worked with her, or just happen to become friends first). In general it's probably better if you meet the husband as well. You have to know your own limits and it can be risky if you are attracted to her. Most of my female friends I am NOT attracted too and wouldn't 'get' with even if they were single. Also, they usually aren't my closest friends and I don't hang out with them often or alone.

Answer 4

It is completely possible to have a friend of the opposite sex and you should be able to tell you wife or husband because not only are they your spouse they should be your best friend. If you have a jealous spouse this could pose a problem and not to mention that having a spouse that is so jealous you can't speak to them about such things is unhealthy. So you have to decide if your spouse is your best friend and are you theirs and if so where is the problem. I will say this however, if you wish to continue a good marriage with the ability to have friends of the opposite sex don't give your spouse a reason to question it.

Answer 5

It is possible to be friends with a person of the opposite sex and be totally innocent but most of the time there is an unspoken attraction there, so if you don't want it to turn into something else it is a good idea to tell your spouse, by nature man and women are sexually charged and things can get out of control if you let it Good luck

Answer 6

This is pretty sticky, but I would have to say that having friends is okay in a marriage, only if they are a mutual friend of you and your spouse. If you have new friends of the same sex then by all means great.

I have already went through this with my soon to be ex-wife. She has been friends with a guy, I know him, but he is what I consider an aquantance. She was talking to him more than me, in the middle of the night, sending emails. It's not right.

When you are married, you have the same friends except for the same sex friends and mutual friends you already had when you got married.

Answer 7

there is REALLY no good way to answer this question. It depends on your spouse. My best friend for almost 20 years is a girl I went to high school with. We have never dated, never kissed, never held hands. As a matter of fact, I introduced her to her last boyfriend. We live in different states, and my significant other has MAJOR problems accepting this. She can't even stand it that the people at Starbucks know me by name (some of them are women). I don't EVEN talk about the women I work with.

On the other hand, I've dated women who've had no problem whatsoever.

My advice to you is this. If your spouse is going to have a problem with it, don't do it. It's REALLY not worth the headache. And if you can't reconcille that, then you might need reassess your marriage (in terms of compatibility). People don't change and will not change their belief systems.

Answer 8

Getting married does not mean you take yourself out of society. A lot of people are insecure about themselves and figure their partner can't be trusted to have a friend of the opposite sex. You never want to hide things from your partner, that does nothing but create an environment of mistrust. If your spouse is giving you a hard time about having a friend of the opposite sex then tell them to grow up.

Answer 9

I find it tough to imagine getting close to a person of the other sex, while married as being OK. The only exception is when you get to know the person as a couple. Like a buddy's wife. Being good friends with a friend's spouse is fine.

Answer 10

I'm not married but I'm in a wonderful relationship; and he and I equally have friends of the opposite sex, we've all been introduced to one another, it's not big deal really =) If one is jealous and insecure, then that's where the problem starts. It can get ugly too if they're that way.