-----------------
I believe that the forum will result in important findings as you will discuss various aspects of the natural gas development in this region. I hope the dialogue will give us benefit to strengthen gas development cooperation among the countries. Malaysia, allow me to reassure, would continue supporting this Forum for the benefit of all of us.
2007-04-25 09:48:36 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Here is my suggestion - just a few changes:
I believe that the forum will result in important findings as you discuss various aspects of the natural gas development in this region. I hope the dialogue will give us the motivation to strengthen gas development cooperation among the countries. I am confident that Malaysia will continue to support this Forum for the benefit of us all.
2007-04-25 10:02:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Gretch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Too much gas (vague and wandering language) and not enough focus. It starts and stops. It tries to have parallel sentence structure but fails miserably. And it fails to reach a rousing peroration, which is what such a final paragraph should do.
2007-04-25 09:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by thylawyer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I think you should liven it up just a bit. But otherwise-I thik it's awesome!
2007-04-25 09:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by luv2dance432@yahoo.com 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋