My husband and I have been married for 4 months, He has brought up divorce over 10 times in the months we've been married. He says things like, "this is never going to work" even on our honeymoon. I just beg him to stay, tell him how much I love him and ask him to reconsider, a half hour later he'll be fine again.
I work full time, go to school (night classes), clean the house after a 14 hour day, make his lunch for him everynight, I cook him big dinners when I have time. I just try to make him happy. I bring him home gifts and treats that I think he'll appreciate. I feel like everything I do is wrong. The way I blow my nose makes him mad. He gets mad if I ask him not leave his dirty socks on our kitchen table and calls me a control freak. It seems like he dislikes everything I do.
Is this something that we can overcome? He always compares everything to when we were first together but relationships change. I love him and want to make it work. But everytime he says this it hurts
2007-04-25 09:45:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He threatens you in order to try and change you. Stop being so thoughtful, quit bringing him things (gifts), stop being so available for him and the next time he threatens to leave, go grab him a suitcase and toss it on the bed and ask him if he needs help packing. It is about control and you have to make him see that you have reached your limit with his behavior. You sound like a wonderful woman that is willing to bend over for her husband and don't think for a second he does not know that. He thinks in his mind that he can do and say anything and you will just take it. Time to put the brakes on this controlling behavior. If he asks for a divorce again, just tell him you will contact a lawyer in the morning because you are tired of living under the cloud of uncertainty he creates with his constant threats of divorce. I think you will see him back down in a hurry.
2007-04-25 10:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your enforcing his bad behavior. Next time he leaves socks on the table put his food on the floor. When he starts ranting tell him in the sweetest voice you can muster up "honey- your socks were on the table where was I going to put the food?" When he says "I'm going to divorce you!" you say okay and walk away. Don't bring him anything, no treats no gifts. He's acting like a child in my opinion. Treat him like one. If he starts with the divorce crap again- have divorce papers and hand them to him with a pen. If he wants to divorce you he'll sign the papers then its good riddance to him. Theres always someone else who will appreciate you for you, not for what you do for them. Oh, and I know you love him and all but he seriously sounds like a asshole.
2007-04-25 17:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by jypsiiie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to let you know the way your husband is treating you is considered abuse. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Not to be rude but you need to grow a pair and stand up for your self before you end up like Nicole Simpson. Seriously. Find a great support group. Family, friends or even a group of women who have been in the same situation but get away from him!!! You can do it! It will be hard and he will prolly freak out even more but BE Strong!! And by the way this is not something the 2 of you can overcome. He will get worse. He may change for awhile but he will go back to his old ways.
2007-04-25 17:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by pandog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, it's time for YOU to decide to leave. He's loving all the brown nosing I'm sorry to say. You work hard every day and go to school and to have to come home to do the things you do. I wouldn't want to stay with anyone who acts like that. I would get my ducks in a row, find a new place to live, put things in your name etc...and then let him know you're leaving him. I've done this before, that's how I know =) and trust me, you'll feel like a million bucks if you do. Now, if he decides to leave you first, let him, you know?
2007-04-25 16:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's this critical of you now, get out while you can. You've only been married for 4 months and he's already brought up divorce? Do you want to put up with that kind of talk throughout your entire marriage?
Try marriage counseling if he will go, but I say lose the loser.
2007-04-25 16:54:01 · answer #5 · answered by Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
call his bluff. the next time he threatens to leave, tell him to go. he is trying to control you & sounds like you are overcompensating by doing everything for him. You can't make him change, no matter how hard you try. Yes, you BOTH can overcome this, but it cannot be done by only 1 person. Good Luck
2007-04-25 17:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMM wow. How was it when you were dating???? I am sure there were warning signs.....well maybe you should have a talk with him about how and why he's feeling the way he is. Open communication - you need to figure out if its something that can we worked on or not.
There is a possiblity he coul dbe suffering from a personality disorder also - or under severe stress. Good Luck
2007-04-25 16:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is so unhappy, tell him to leave. There is no reason to remain in a marriage if you are that miserable so quickly. Frankly you might be able to get it annulled. Obviously he had NO clue as to what he was getting into when he married.
2007-04-25 16:56:54 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now before you invest any more of yourself in
this loser. He's the control freak, and you are the victim.
Get out before you have kids. It will not get better.
2007-04-25 16:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the divorce papers, fill them out and serve his A@@ the sooner the better.
2007-04-25 16:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋