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why are you all so hostile towards people who find themselves in the difficult situation of an unplanned pregnancy! i suppose that all of you have NEVER had unprotected sex, had a condom split or something else happen that resulted in unplanned pregnancy! my guess is that the majority of you have simply not had it happen to you and therefore this gives you license to decree that other less fortunate are
>stupid
>slappers
>murderers
if it has happened to you and you simply had the good fortune to know your own mind then i respect that but can we please stop being so judgemental especially might i beg that the men on this site refrain from thinking they know anything at all about this situation unless they have been in it! i have had an abortion in the past and i have a child whom i am raising alone because his father ( a pro lifer) left us when things got a little too hard! give your opinion fine but dont bully and belittle

2007-04-25 07:32:42 · 38 answers · asked by cathc 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

38 answers

I so agree with you...people here do not have to be so judgemental...its horrible the names people call others...such a shame...

I am a pro-choice person, I believe no one should tell another women what she can do with her body...though I'd never be able to go through with an abortion myself...I don't assume I can tell others what to do, or not to do...

I always say, until you've been there, done that... don't comment on it...

2007-04-25 16:06:47 · answer #1 · answered by dmmls 4 · 3 2

Hear hear! I totally agree. I stopped asking questions about certain women's issues, religion and most political/history questions too due to the overt hostility. Be polite, people!

It's true that no one knows what they'll do unless in the situation. Most men never have a second thought about this personally, but are very vocal about condemning others. Odd when they never have to face the situation of being pregnant themselves. Plus you have the guys who paid for an abortion but then blame the woman and lecture people now - as if it happened to their body.....just makes me angry. Why judge? There are a few mean and judgemental women out there on YA, but the really derogatory remarks seem to come from the men - why??? I do not know. Women even, if they disagree, seem to be a bit more compassionate. In the US it has gotten very ugly, with the religious right creating new laws on "partial birth/late term abortions" changing the name to make the procedure seem like murder. In actuality very few women want to have these - they are usually performed when something is very very wrong and the womans health is in danger. A friend who almost had to have one (there was a defect with the baby - it was going to die) was horrified that she might risk damaging her chance to have any other children if this procedure was not done/was banned. It was an awful decision which luckily she did not have to make. Lawmakers do not have medical degrees and should not try to impose religion into medical care.

Besides, how is verbally abusing people helping anything/anyone? A little compassion goes a long way.

2007-04-27 09:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 1 0

I had an unplanned pregnancy that left me crying for two months. I really did NOT want to be pregnant. But I knew that I could not abort my baby. There was never any doubt no matter how much I disliked the situation I was in. To say that I don't understand simply because I am pro-life is equally unfair. I understand all too well and made the best I could out of a situation that was heart-breaking for me. My life is better for it.

I feel very strongly about this - it is the most important issue to me, bar none. That doesn't mean that I belittle anyone. I understand very much. However, that in no way blurs the line between right and wrong. The baby's plight is just as heartbreaking as the mother's.

2007-04-26 05:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by mennyd 4 · 0 1

YOU GO GIRL! I agree completely with what you say. I am a christian and for many years was completely 100% against abortion but fortunately I have grown to be more open minded about the issue. I still feel it should be a last resort but sadly things happen, and for some there is no other way and I believe that I have a duty to help and support that person NOT sit and judge them!! I am going to be training as a councillor for people in a crisis pregnancy and post abortion and I am really looking forward to getting out there and doing something worthwhile for a change. We ca all get a little too comfortable in our own little world and we forget there are people out there who don't have it so easy. My bible says I should love and care for people no matter what! After all Jesus hung around with a prostitute! He was making a point, that none of us are better than all the rest we are all the same, and all deserve respect and love!!

2007-04-28 23:02:31 · answer #4 · answered by michelle w 3 · 0 0

People who have not been in any sort of situation can not even back their own answers up because you may say you know what you would do in this situation but no one knows how it will affect them once faced with the reality! I found out i was pregnant once i split with my partner and it was unplanned, i always said i did not want children but as soon as i saw the line on the test that said i was pregnant everything changed! You cant decide what you will do until you are face to face with it! The choice is there for people to take so they should not be judged for making a decision that will be unfair on the child later on in life. I am not against abortion it is completely up to who ever has to make the choice they feel is best!

2007-04-29 06:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by 1611midgemodge 2 · 0 0

It's often the most vehement pro-lifers that are also hugely condemnatory of women on benefits... They've insisted it's best that people keep the baby no matter what their circumstances then they are angry when people need a bit of financial help...

Also - whilst it is very sad when people are unable to conceive (and many are understandably bitter about this) that doesn't give them the right to condemn those in a situation they cannot begin to understand...

I am pro-choice yet never considered terminating my unplanned pregnancy. I beleive that women have the right to make that choice though it just isn't the choice I would make...

2007-04-25 21:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

i dont believe in belittling or being hostile...i have had my fair share here for sure for polietly voicing an opinion, but this is my opinion and thats what this board is about...opinions.

I am pro life, and i have had a condom break along with the BC patch fail and have had 2 "unwanted" pregnancys...but i also believe in taking care of my responsibilities... therefore those "accidents" are now two beautiful smart amazing little boys who light up my life :) I am taking care of my responisbilites and will continue too, i am running a home based photography business and raising my children ON MY OWN...

Not that abortion was ever an option for me, i dont have it in me to do such a thing.... i too did the reasearch i too looked at those pictures, i too know people who did it and will live with the guilt and torment for always... I am happy with my decision although definately my decision was by far not the easy way out...i did the right thing and i am rewarded daily for that.

Because of my luck with bc methods i now have my tubes tided...even thats not a sure thing but better than everything else i have tried so far.


I am pro life, excluding cases of rapes incest etc. And partical birth abortion is i think the most horrific and brutal form of murder i can think of out there... anything after the heart forms (7 weeks) is horrible in itself.

Please people double up, its not that hard, and only takes a few minutes out of your life....

2007-04-25 07:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

emmm ... I'm sorry .. it's not really fair to say things like "you all" ... there are many many people who think the way you do!
anyone who ever read anything by Peter Singer thinks the way you do. There are some people out there who are on your side, who wouldn't even ask you to justify what you did, and definitely not accuse for your personal choice. Some of us are actually trying very hard to make other people see what real tolerance mean, and the thing I've learnt over past few years is that defencive attitude doesn't get anyone anywhere. And not everybody has to have your life experience to share your opinion. We all have the right to do with our bodies whatever we want, and that's the fact! Don't ask for sympathy, it's your right!

2007-04-25 07:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by tricky 5 · 3 0

Okay, I'm going to try to answer this rationally. None of us are perfect. Every single one of us have made a mistake at one time or another. I personally don't consider a pregnancy to be a "mistake." I've had 3 unplanned pregnancies. I talk about the last two quite a bit on here because those pregnancies ended with living children. My big thing is that women choose to end their pregnancies when I did not have a choice. I'm sorry about the people that call you stupid, murder, etc. I agree that we don't have the Right to do things like that because it is cruel. I understand you're angry about the things that get said on here. This is after-all, a public forum. Even though I don't agree with abortion at all, I do agree with what you are saying.

2007-04-25 07:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5 1

Absolutely ! There is a post right now about an abortion- BUT - the girl makes it clear she wants the baby, so i have encouraged her to keep it. There was a post a few nights ago where a girl asked how long does it take for an abortion....? Well they ripped into her like nobody`s business ! One person said - as long as it took to open your legs and have sex etc etc. It just went on and on ! My god, the poor girl must have been in tears - i know i would have been ! Having an abortion is not a decision someone makes in a minute or two - obviously they`ve spent a lot of time thinking it over, trying to get round it - i`m sure they`ve been all round the houses mulling over the options. I do agree, this lot are VERY HARD on girls/women who dare to mention that word - abortion. Just ease up everyone and have a little sympathy. Also, please remember, adoption isn`t always the answer ! How would you like to carry a baby for nine months and then hand it over to someone else ? I know i couldn`t do it. It`s a lot to ask of someone ! Please - a little sympathy and good advice, not slagging off and judging !

2007-04-25 08:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by yahoobloo 6 · 5 2

You go! This is the BEST question I have EVER seen since I've been on Yahoo! Q&A! Amen, sistah! On many of the previous questions (regarding abortion) from a woman who wanted to pursue her career, and she even TOLD her future husband, that she did NOT want kids, EVER, and a few years later by accident (accidents DO happen!) she gets pregnant. And so many jumped on her, called her horrible names- murderer being one of the KINDER words...I was astonished and disgusted. This woman had told her husband before she married him that she had no interest in children and did not want kids, and at the time, he knew the score with her, and AGREED. Then, he changed his mind when she gets pregnant,(how convenient for him, he doesn't have to be the recepticle for nine months, does he?) Then he proceeded to get the whole family against her and then so many of you made such harsh and cruel judgements about her question. Honey, I am so sorry what happened to you. I bet you are a great mum and more importantly, an even greater PERSON. Thank you so much for your brave and upfront question and heartfelt comments. I now have more faith in humanity.

2007-04-25 09:49:33 · answer #11 · answered by PURR GIRL TORI 7 · 3 1

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