Our daughters are 8 years old, and best friends. However, my neighbors daughter sometimes hits and pushes my daughter. I don't feel like my neighbor is firm enough with the situation, and often makes excuses: she's tired, she felt like your daughter wasn't following the rules, she just likes to be first, she just gets excited.............. I have heard them all. I am unsure about having my daughter play at their house anymore because if she does little to resolve the situation when I am around I am sure she does nothing when I am not around. I am friends with the mom, and have had two heart to heart talks with her but this behavior continues. This has even carried over to school. My heart is breaking for my daughter and I am tired of the mothers excuses. Help!
2007-04-25 06:12:13 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm sure I will get thumbs down like crazy for this but I would tell my daughter the next time she puts her hands on her to slap the crap out of her!! And when her mom knocks your door say well I guess she was tired, wants to be first or one of the many other excuses she has used for her "little angel"
2007-04-25 06:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by lisamarie7901 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I first saw this, I thought, talk to the parent. But now I can see that you already have and the parent is not going to help with the problem. Maybe the best thing to do is talk to your daughter and explain to her that it would be best for her to find another friend. Tell her that it's not worth her getting pushed & hit by that other girl. If she says that she is her friend, tell her that if she was her friend, she wouldn't pick on her that way. Also, I would tell the other parent that you would appreciate it if she would keep her child away from yours. If she can't do anything except make excuses you or your daughter don't need them in your lives.
2007-04-25 06:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by Joe S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister-in-law went through the same thing you are going through now. Tammy (my sis in law) had her neighbor (Sue) bring my niece (Kaitlyn) and her daughter (Emily) home and kept Kaitlyn until Tammy got home from work. Emily would sometimes get an attitude with Kaitlyn and end up pushing her and hitting her. Granted, my niece is tough and would take up for herself. They are still friends, both 5, but Tammy had had enough. She talked to Sue about it, and Sue gave the same excuses. After a while, Tammy told her she didn't need to pick Kaitlyn up after school, that she'd made other arrangements. Unfortunately, this hurt Sue's feelings and I don't believe either her or Tammy talk anymore. The girls don't get to play with each other anymore either. I know it's a hard decision, but in my opinion, Tammy did the right thing. You can't just sit back and let this happen.
Maybe it will turn out better for you with whatever decision you make. Good luck!
2007-04-25 06:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issue with my neighbors 6 year old son. He`s a bully, he peed on my son as a joke!! I have banned him from my yard and my children`s teacher is aware of my feelings in regards to this child. You have to make it clear to the child and the parents that being a bully is unacceptable!! When these children grow up they will get the same message as they did as adults. I would also tell your neighbor why you`ve decided to not let your child associate with hers. It`s not your fault if she takes it personally... AND DON`T TAKE ANY EXCUSES ANYMORE!!My neighbor said that the boy did it by accident, I had seen it with my own two eyes, he thought it was funny!! As a society we have to make it clear to people that violence WILL NOT be tolerated!! Good luck, and be supportive of your daughter`s feelings... KIDS ARE NOT JUST KIDS, they can be impending sociopaths, so don`t let it get carried away!
PSS........... At 8 years old they do not have problems with communication. They know to stop when someone says STOP!! That child is just testing your daughters bounderies and she she needs to be stopped. I`m sick of people making excuses for children, WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Remember permissive parenting is a breeding ground for a sociopath, a child who thinks they can get away with cruelty to others.
2007-04-25 06:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by lost2day 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop. Talk to your daughter. Ask her how it feels when friend hurts her? Let her know she doesn't have to play with someone who hits her. Instruct her that next time friend hurts her she should tell friend " I am going home because I won't let you hurt me just because your mad at me." Also, spy on them, listen to the way they talk to each other. Children at that age who don't have strong vocabulary skills tend to communicate physically. Possibly your daughter has stronger communication skills, or your daughter may be hurting friend verbally. They will grow out of this, but realize they might not always be best friends, and that should be okay too. Good Luck.
2007-04-25 06:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by FLORIDA MOM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your daughter that the next time this girl lays hands on her to hit her back! Maybe this other girl gets no discipline at home and does it just because she thinks she can. If your daughter hits her back then maybe she will see that she just cant hit someone without being hurt or disciplined back...
I wouldn't let my daughter go over there until it stops no matter if I was friends with this girls mother. She obviously doesn't give a sh*t about your daughter!
2007-04-25 06:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the mother again. I know you have done so twice already, but this time say you are afraid that you will have to forbid your daughter to go to their house if this continues. Tell the mother that you really want the girls to continue being friends, and you also value your friendship with her, so ask her to talk to her daughter about it. It would also be a good thing for YOU to talk to your daughters friend. Explain to her how friends should act toward one another, and tell her the consequences if they do not act like friends (they will not be allowed to visit eachother.) Good luck! : o )
2007-04-25 07:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't let your neighbor get away with excuses.
There's never a good reason why your daughter should have to deal w/ abuse.
Worst comes to worst, stand up for your family and don't let them play together.
2007-04-25 06:16:47 · answer #8 · answered by Thomas 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
im not a parent of anything but i would not let my child see that girl anymore, if its happening in school im sure you can talk to the teachers and/or principles so that hopefully they may keep an eye on her for you.........bullying is going to happen though no matter what, maybe she should try to stay around people more in school so that the other girl doesnt have a chance to do anything or she will have to learn to stand up for herself, but other then school if i were you i wouldnt let my child be near the bully anymore.......but in the end you may just have to teach her to stand up for herself and fight back if its Truly necassary
2007-04-25 06:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by eclipse555 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop your daughter from playing with that kid,before you regret it. I hate when parents can't see any wrong in their kids. Some parents you don't have to explain too,because they know their kids!Yeah if I was you I would address it to the parent's,if they fail to do anything about it I would completely stop her from playing unless she's under my supervision that way me and the parent's won't have beef with each other! And they will know why our kids can't play together!
2007-04-25 06:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by hot chocolate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋