Would you marry someone who has kids?

Question

sometimes you fall inlove with someone buy they come with kids.what if they don,t like you,then what can one do?

Answer 1

Well you can and I did, but it didn't work out. When you try to blend in with someone who already has kids it makes it hard. They have their way of doing holidays and such, so you either have to change everything you do on those special occasions or it creates problems. What I found was I was always the bad person because they were use to getting what they wanted and when I would even suggest something different it would set the whole family off. People who have kids come with a lot of baggage and if your not willing to deal with it all, beware.

Answer 2

It is sometimes very difficult. The child may resent the new parent. When the child visits a parent not in the home, he/she may find it difficult to readjust to your home when he/she comes back. The rules are usually not the same, nor the atmosphere. The child/ren may never accept you as family, with all the close ties that implies. Unless there was a legitimate reason (blatant,not-sorry adultery) for the split of the parents, it is best not to marry someone with children. If the children do accept you, there may be nasty comments and rules made by the absent parent that will have an affect on your relationship with the child. Also, you need to know the background of the one you plan to marry, learning that one's character very well. You don't want molesting to occurr.

There are many examples of families' getting along fine and have a loving relationship. That is good. Deep down in the heart, though, there will likely always be something the parent-to-be and the children will have to overcome.

Suffice it to say, there will be problems; avoidable ones if there are no children involved. But with much love, consideration, and help from God almighty it can be a positive life-altering decision. You need to be ABSOLUTELY SURE you are doing the right thing. Everyone deserves a loving home to be raised in.
Some children NEVER get over the split up of their parents. They carry feelings long into adulthood and perhaps to their grave. PURE love must rule or it will be like thorns under your skin all the time.

Answer 3

Free Child minding?

You will be on-call from 0630hrs-2300hrs which is normal when you have a Family. But - how does it feel to give 100% of your life to another Bloke's Children while the real Dad is having a great life and dropping in every couple of weeks to check you're doing a good enough job for him in his absence? He may ask his Son how you are performing, and if there are any problems or dislikes he may have. Hopefully for you his Child isn't called Pinocchio!

Imagine waiting in an upstairs bedroom while the real Father drops of his four year old Son after a "Flags and Balloons" Day out. Because Dad was coming that Day, the Boy has been crazy all morning since 0600hrs. After they come back, your beautiful Girlfriend (the Mother) is down at the door with them saying "Ooo I love the Balloons it's great". You just have to stay out the way. Then after the Dad goes away to enjoy a relaxing Saturday Evening, you go down and crawl about the floor with Thomas the tank Engine and what ever else is required - to give Mum a break. You do not have your name on the Birth Certificate, you have no rights over parenting, you are very vulnerable. You have no Children of your own and do not recognise your Parents or Family in this Child. But you must bring him up.

Beware of being caught by a Woman who needs the gap filled. Avoid unless you have absolutely no doubt that it's the Woman for you. If you feel any pressure best to get out before you're hooked.

Answer 4

The problem in relationships w/ children from a previous partner are many! The most important thing that you can do BEFORE getting involved to is make sure that he has some sort of standard visitation already set up and that your being in the pic will not change this! (You won't beleive how angry an ex can get if she thinks another woman will be around her kids). Also, depending on the age(s) of the children there are issues such as whether or not you can stay all night when they are over (if you aren't living together), quiet sex is a must (if you even get to get any), also you have to be mindful that these children do not get to see one of the parents on an daily basis so you can't be jealous when he/she seems to give the kids more attention. Being with person who already has children is a BIG step and it is something to think about before making such a commitment of marriage.

Answer 5

I almost did but Im really glad I didn't. She had literally no time for me. She thought seeing me once a week for a date night for two hours and a lunch once every two weeks was a relationship. It is not. She also was struggling financially and looking for someone to move in with her and her kids quick and told me if I was serious about her I would do it soon even though she lived over an hour from where I worked and would not consider selling and buying a place together. There was no compromise. It was all about her and her kids! I once went on vacation with her and her kids and they could've cared less if I was there until they needed me to buy them something. It was as if I was tagging along as a third wheel all the time. Also her ex husband had a key to her place and would hang out there. Can you say weird? Over crowded. No thank you. I felt she didn't really love me but loved what I could do for her anyways.

Answer 6

I did but it didn't work out. I had the best of intentions and loved her very much. I gave a lot into our marriage and the kids and got very little out of it. It sounds selfish but I am not a selfish person. It is just really hard being a step parent, a lot harder than I thought it would be. There was also a lot of drama regarding her ex husband and her ex in laws who were always in the picture causing problems but my wife would never see things for what they really were. I would suggest finding someone who does not already have kids but if they do make sure they are older (late teenage years).

Answer 7

A few years ago, I would've said no. However, I did marry a guy with a child (he didn't live with us) and we got along very well.

I am now in a relationship with another man who has two children. One is a young adult and the other a teenager. We've had some misgivings but so long as communication is opened, things will settle. You will need to put some time and effort into your future partners children to let them know who you are and what your intentions are towards them and they're father or mother.

Answer 8

I did, married a man with children - we were and still are very much in love and their opinions didn't and couldn't matter - it depends on the childrens ages wether or not they will like you and if they are being coached by the ex... When I got with my husband his daughters were ages 16, 18 & 19 and no doubt about it they hated me and still do. They also had coaching. It has gotten better but you just take it day by day and just b/c this is what happened to me doesn't mean thats what will happen to you. I wouldn't change anything other then their lack of common sence and disrespect.

Answer 9

No. I did before and it didn't work out. Raising someone else's kids was not fun. It is exhausting and not rewarding. Someone who has kids has a lot of baggage.

Answer 10

No, I would never marry someone with kids... It introduces too many "unknowns" into a relationship, and I've never felt the desire to "play mom" to someone else's children (it will be a miracle if I ever want to have my own). Children from previous relationships would be one of the main deal-breakers for me - and I don't feel like I have no control over whom I fall in love with, and ultimately marry; I think, I have a lot of control over this.