My wonderful byf is very dedicated to my children & someday we plan marriage. He contributes to the household though he does not live there yet, he eats and sleeps there 75% of the time. Soon my daughter is to attend a 10 day conference in DC (she's 17) & I thought it would be neat to drive down & all of us stay for a weekend. I looked into it & the cost is more then expected & I have the $, but also other things planned with it. I have never asked him for $, he's always just paid or insisted I take it & he's always giving the kids $1 or 2 when they come to me for it. We have discussed finances & he's not rich either - we are both just kind average & we budget. We've also talked about living together and shared finances and we've agreed on what to do there, but the trip was a great idea until I realized how much it would cost & he didn't say anything except "your right, what about...this & that". Would it be wrong to say - would you help pay for the trip so that we could go?
2007-04-25 04:26:16 · 14 answers · asked by martiek7 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It would probably be reasonable to think he would pay his way once he got into DC. However, I think possibly driving and hotel arrangements would be at your expense. Unless he offers, I'm not sure I'd ask; he sounds like he already contributes a good share even when not asked. Once you get there I'd recommend using the Metro to cut costs (it's quite easy to use and you can buy weekend passes). By his answer, it sounds as if the trip may have come at a so-so financial time for him as well (could it be he's saving up for the big day or ring?) Anyway, good luck.
2007-04-25 04:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tabatha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be wrong. I think that being honest about money is an important part of any relationship, especially when it is sometimes in short supply. Lay it out for him just like you did here, and just say "I'd still like to go on this trip, but I don't think it would resposible of me to commit that much money to it. I thought it would be less, and I think I should do(fill in the blank) with some of the money. Is it possible for you to pay for part of the trip?" As long as either a yes or no answer is OK with you, then it should be fine.
2007-04-25 11:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by Mark G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, let your daughter go alone. DC is too expensive to plan a family vacation, a cheap motel in DC costs about $250 dollars a night, and I don't know about you, but I like my sleepbed number and clean sheets.
Save your money and go on a vacation in a place that you can afford without putting a strain in your finances. The last thing that your wanna do is to argue about money with your bf.
Good luck
2007-04-25 12:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is going on the trip with you.......... Yes he needs to contribute. If he wants to be with you he must accept your family and some responsibility including the finances.
I don't think that he will mind paying some of the money towards the holiday as he seems to ne contributing to the cost of normal living expenses without living there full time.
Thinking about it is probably driving you nuts. Just ask him can he help with the holiday finances. It will probably be good to get it off you chest one way or the other.
Best of luck & enjoy your hols......
2007-04-25 11:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you have done some research and the trip will cost more than you planned. Ask him if he has any other ideas for that weekend that would be less expensive....he may offer to share some of the expense and go on with the trip.
2007-04-25 11:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you mined if he had kids and ask you for money ? I don't think so woman are funny that way you all want to be equal but you all want what a man has and you will all yes all not even look at a man in need . So no its a bad idea get a job and be equal your making womanhood look bad.
2007-04-25 11:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be wrong. If you said up front that you'd like to take him, but can't afford to take the both of you and make all of the expenses, then he would have the option to say "no", I can't afford it right now. But to invite him and then later on say, "oh by the way, I need your share of this or that" is way out of line.
2007-04-25 11:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by auditor4u2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are getting serious, I think it would be a great time to ask this type of question. You need to know what type of response you will get. If he says no, I wouldn't hold it against him, but it may give you some insight into your future relationship. Good luck! :)
2007-04-25 11:30:13 · answer #8 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Negative....u are inviting him to go with u on a trip...this means u will cover all expenses...now; however, once you are there he may offer say to pay for his meals or any other of his private needs...but if u invite him -- you are the responsible party for the expenses.
2007-04-25 11:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Discuss with him the expected expenses and let hm know what your needs are. Open and honest communication should be present in every worthwhile relationship.
2007-04-25 11:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋