As ever it is most informative to find out how real people have solved real situations. So...
I have kids, he has kids; he is the solitary type so not much family involvment is necessary. With me, Im a mom I love and want to interact with my kids. That's not great with him since it takes time from us. What to do. Plus, I can't get over the belief that I have, now that we are married it should be our family, our kids. I would like that, he would not.
Financially, he has 3 times as much money as I. But from the beginning I believe that my money should be his and his mine...isn't that the way it was when we were first married? He feels his money is his, and mine is mine and we should split things. If we were to go combined income he would want to control my spending "you don't need this, too much $ for that." Not a good feeling for a responsible adult.
No question we love each other, I want to know how to feel together when so much seperates us. A mans feelings needed.
2007-04-25 03:32:56 · 4 answers · asked by redford 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it seems to me he is a bit selfish. If the tables were turned and you had 3 times more money would he expect the same split?
I mean what a jerk!
All the money should go im the pot and all the kids taken care of !
My opinion anyway!
2007-04-25 03:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by Rhiannon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt about it things have changed financially! Figure out when and why!
Halfing the bills are what room mates do, I could MAYBE see you paying for this and he paying for that as long as you are not broke when it is all done and said with. It takes two incomes especially when you have children. But to seperate things should come to an end and soone b/c the more you seperate the more you will be serperated!
The step children and the family as a whole will come with time and a lot of it, even years! It will happen though. It may take him longer to adjust then it does you.
There is no solving in our marriage and these topics, we go day by day and we live pay check to pay check. There is no need to fight and argue about it that only makes things worse. We communicate but we work with what we got and are happy with we have and any extra is a blessing... We shut down certain things we can live without and turn them back on when things are better, we do this and do this and do this - it is crazy but it works -we live on a buget and realizing what is a need and what is a want sometimes can be tricky but must be done - we have to tell the children no for more reasons other then we can't afford it but they get over it.
Communication that comes to a happy medium is your solution. Compromise.
2007-04-25 11:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are really in love, these things shouldnt even be discussed. Try to talk to him openly about your feelings. If he really cares, he would be open to adjustments and wont let money rule his world. You deserve trust and confidence on your spending sense. As for kids, some guys are not really cut out to be role models of an interactive father specially if he is career oriented or earns 3 times what u get. He just doesnt have time for such and you can open his eyes to these worthwhile things he can do with his family...if he really cares he would change.
2007-04-25 10:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Janet S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get where the love ever came in? he won't be part of the family won't share money like a family man usually does? Where or what is there to love? I honestly don't get it...
2007-04-25 10:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋