Why do you all judge swingers so negatively? Most swinger wives have bodies to die for and?

Question

they take very good care of themselves. In the swing lifestyle, there are many women in their 40's that look 30, are very nice, no std's and are usually mid to upper middle class. Many of us men are the same, usually handsome and fit with great careers.

So why do you all slam on swingers so badly when in fact you know nothing about us?

America's divorce rate 50%

Swinger's divorce rate 18%

So, I think swingers have the rest of the population beat in most areas. I think you are all a bunch brainwashed paranoid holy rollers that do not know how to enjoy life.

To those that understand us, my post is not directed at you.

ps: I think many of you are swinger curious but not have the nads to try it. Correct me if i'm wrong.

Misty, thank you. Finally someone who understands. I am convinced that most of the people on YA are fat soccer moms that wear XXL sweat suits.

April, so you think you are an authority on the swing lifestyle because your dad and hubby are medical doctors...LOL. That is laughable you idiot.........LOL

Answer 1

My boyfriend convinced me to try the swinger lifestyle and I agreed mostly to make him happy. I soon found out he was right and I was having fun. Anyone who puts it down without knowing what its about is speaking from ignorance.

Answer 2

People who "judge swingers negatively" are just much less materialistic than you and your friends. You didn't help matters by parading empty values (bodies to die for, upper middle class, great careers) as indicator sof swinger virtue.
Everyone is laughing at you. Sex for the sake of entertainment or distraction is just another form of unchecked materialism.

It can't be news that most of the world believes marriage is a sacred partnership that no other person comes between.
That probably makes no sense to someone with such a base value system, but that's the simple, true answer.

Answer 3

What I think most people don't understand about swingers is that they don't engage in spur-of-the-moment liaisons or engage in sex with others behind their spouses' backs. In order to swing successfully, a couple has to do a lot of things right, such as communicate about rules, behave responsibly, and trust each other. All three of those things are important to any successful marriage, and swingers actually seem to work on them more than non-swingers. Consequently, I think swingers tend to have much stronger relationships than most people realize.

Answer 4

Im not judging it, i have watched friends around us do this and so far none of them are still married to each other. Each to his own, but not in my house. I am happy pleasing one man, my husband. As far as the bodies, on the people we know that are swingers, there is generally a few good looking people, and they aren't necessarily married to each other. For example the one husband is really hot built and looks after himself while his wife was frumpy overweight and i never saw her in a nice pair of jeans, always sweat pants. So you have a few good points, maybe the people I know didnt do this right, but in a way, who knows all the rules that go with anything?

Answer 5

I have seen too many relationships break up over this, some couples become consumed with jealousy, or one partner will be happy to swing but not let their partner do it, to me it is the thin end of the wedge, everything I want or need comes from my other half, and if he doesn't give it to me we talk about it and try to satisfy each other without looking to outside sources. It's your choice, but man, I have also seen some real wrinklies!!!!!

Answer 6

Hey you do what you want with your wife little man, but HBO ran a special on swingers a while back - there wasn't a woman on that hour long show under 180. No wait, - there was one. But she didn't have any teeth.

If that's "a body to die for" - well then, we have differing opinions of what that means. Yours involves great big shovels full of gloppy fat. Mine doesn't.

Also, please cite peer reviewed journals on your divorce rates and other demographic information on swingers. Otherwise it's just fantasy bullsh*t statistics you pulled out of your a*ss.

Answer 7

*I personally do not see the big deal about swingers. *

.I feel like that is your lifestyle, and what you choose do to and who you do it with...is your choice. And whether or not people agree with it, well that's just simply too bad.


~I'm not going to knock it also because I have never experienced it first hand, so I cannot say whether I like it or I don't like it etc.

**Basically I agree with you, and I think people need to be a little more open minded to other people's lifestyles. Because there is a lot of people out there who are doing other things that most of us would not agree with.

Answer 8

Personally, I couldn't care less what you do or what your lifestyle is. I just know its not for me, and I'd like to see a link for those statistics. To each there own as far as I'm concerned. That STD comment cracks me up. Let me guess, each partner as a letter from there doctor stating there STD free right? Or because your enlightened you can look someone in the eyes and know there clean, lmfao.

Answer 9

Don'tcha just love the intellectual variety on Y! Answers?
This really is a gem:
"I doubt your statistics. And I'd doubt many are very bright, in top notch jobs..."
Well. The stats don't lie. Check the link below. Plus our personal experience has proved this to be fact.

".....further, upbringing of an alley cat, and lower class as far as finances---I would doubt your claim that they are financially middle class.... Where's your proof?."

Check. The. Link. (rolling my eyes). Alley cat? Lower class? April, tell me...where's YOUR proof? I'm speaking from personal experience here. Where are you coming from? Or are you just spitting out what your husband and your daddy told you?

"...but sharing and ultimately having feelings for someone other than your spouse would seem to me not healthy for a marriage."

Seems to you. We do share with other - very select - people, but we're not interested in developing long term relationships. This is strictly for fun. We have extremely high standards for our long-term relationships, and personally, I just don't have the time or energy to invest in more than one. I couldn't maintain two relationships at the level that I am accustomed to without one or both of them suffering. So we don't bother. Some people are interested in multiple LTR's but they're called polys. It's a different branch of non-monogamy.

"Swingers just agree to remain under the same roof for financial purposes, and go about their business -- their sexual business-- where ever and what ever. Presumably they deny that they can get any STD....."

Again...where is your proof?? You know, I'm sure you could find people who actually do this. They're not uncommon. But these are not people that I consider to be true swingers. They're just wannabes and they think this is the solution to their unhappy existence. And a word about STDs...why the hell do people assume that because we are non-monogamous that we just drop our drawers and spread for anyone and everyone? Why don't single people get the same harsh lectures about the dangers of having multiple sex partners? It's the same damned thing. Yet the single person is assured that sexual variety is a good thing - go! hump! get it while the gettin's good!...just remember to wear a condom and you're all set. Why is it assumed that we couldn't even pronouce chlamydia or trichomoniasis, let alone know what they are? We know our risks, and we fully understand them. While we know that we cannot erradicate risk, the measures we take to reduce that risk make the risk level acceptable to us. Some couples have been swinging regularly for a quarter century and have yet to contract anything worse than the common cold. Let me know if you need references; I'm sure I could round them up for you to confirm this.

Then again, they may not be interested in wasting their time bashing their heads against brick walls. I just enjoy it. A bit like playing solitaire. It's amusing and a good way to kill some time, but you really don't get too excited regardless of when you win or lose.

EDIT>> Oh, and I thought I'd respond to this one, too:
"You obviously place no greater value on sex then for it to be physical thing. I, like many other people believe it to be the ultimate symbol of commitment between myself and my signifigant other. "

I didn't quite understand the rest of it, but this I did. You said it as though sex being merely physical is a BAD thing. You're right, martiek7, we DON'T revere sex as something sacred or holy. Sex is something of this world. Love is something of the next. Sex is not worthy of being equated with love. Not in my book anyway. Sex is just pieces of human flesh rubbing together in a pleasant way. Lovemaking happens when we USE sex to tell our wife or husband that we adore them and that while others may enjoy our bodies temporarily, these other people will never, ever take their place in our hearts. They simply can't. The vow isn't there with them. The bond does not exist. It's within that unspoken, indescribable, timeless bond between two people that the true marriage exists. It is simply beyond the reach of any other person, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I don't know about you, but I REFUSE to allow sex to be the yardstick by which I measure the health and success of my marriage. My marriage is worth so much more than that. I won't cheapen it. Measuring my marriage's health/success by our committment to sexual exclusivity is a bit like puting a cheap dime store frame on a priceless work of art. It's an insult.

This is my view of marriage, love and sex. It works very well for my husband and I and we are very happy. If your beliefs and sexual practices make you both happy, then you are right, too. I just don't want someone telling me that I'm wrong because my version differs from theirs.

Answer 10

I doubt your statistics. And I'd doubt many are very bright, in top notch jobs........further, upbringing of an alley cat, and lower class as far as finances---I would doubt your claim that they are financially middle class.... Where's your proof?. I'm for sure no holy roller, and whatever consenting adults do is fine with me, but sharing and ultimately having feelings for someone other than your spouse would seem to me not healthy for a marriage. Swingers just agree to remain under the same roof for financial purposes, and go about their business -- their sexual business-- where ever and what ever. Presumably they deny that they can get any STD.....

But, what's your point? Hey, whatever flips your skirt.