I dont know whats wrong with me, I can't stand him in the mornings and when he's at work, and for the first 30 minutes when he gets home, but around supper im fine, but then before bed I dont want to be around him its really weird. We've been married for 3 years now. Have 3 beautiful kids. I love him very much and I don't know what to do.
2007-04-25 03:30:01 · 17 answers · asked by ~Nicole~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to examine your feelings for him and ask yourself what it is that repulses you about him. There has to be something, picks his nose and flicks it on the walls or passes gas, does he smell bad? Honestly ask yourself what it is and then talk to him about it. If you truly love him you will work it out and if he loves you he will change.
2007-04-25 03:34:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's normal. The same things that make us love'em makes us not be able to stand'em. Sometime it's just a phase, however think whether or not there's something more under the subconscience. Did you have a fight that really wasn't resolved? Did something happen or was something said in the morning or around bedtime and you haven't forgiven really nor forgotten? Did you ask for sex in the morning and he said he no, so at night you remember that and are getting even? Maybe supper time is a mutual pleasureable time for all involved. Think to yourself what happened and when did the "can't stand" began. And if it's none of the above, change your attitude. Tell yourself, he's not perfect and some times he's an a**, but he's mine and I love him despite it all. Think about his good qualities like he actually goes to work, he actually came home from work! That's sexy in itself! Hello! He didn't stop at his girlfriend's house for 30 mins. He likes you, he loves you, he loves your cooking or atleast eats it. Give him cool points for that! He sleeps in the same house, he sleeps in the same bed. He's kinda cute and you like the way his pants fit on his butt! You can do it. And remember this too shall pass. It's life, not a perfectly written TV love drama! Those ARE not real. His breath will stank in the morning!
2007-04-25 10:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by Cutegirlnameliola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Momma needs a day off and he needs to give it to you. You need to talk to him about the way you feel. It's real easy to start to feel this way when you are being responsible for all the people in your home at the same time. Especially if he isn't helping out. Take some time for yourself that is not 'stolen' from your family. Schedule a night out with him for date night. Sounds like you have lost touch with each other and you may be mad at him because he doesn't see it. Good luck. Go see a counselor, if he won't go with you then go by yourself.
2007-04-25 10:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by jhardinmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what you need to figure out if what is it that is making you react this way. Do you have feelings for another person? or is it just how he acts with you?
How long has this been going on? if it is a short while tough it out and see if it lasts.
To be honest I recon you need to talk in detail with someone who is qualified at this.
Hope this helps a bit.
2007-04-25 10:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by Blurb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean you can't stand him? If you want to salvage things with him, which it sounds like you do, try couples counselling. Or let him know what's going on. You never know, maybe he's feeling the same way.
2007-04-25 10:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by Winette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. that's really sad. i suggest you seek marriage counseling. or read the book "the proper care and feeding of husbands" or 'the proper care and feeding of marriage"
by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
you're thinking of leaving a man, that you chose to marry, who you brought 3 beautiful children into the world with???
you're going to selfishly break up your family??
your children NEED and WANT two parents. that is what will help them grow up semi-normal in this dysfunctional American society.
It is up to you and your husband to give them that.
what happened to "until death do us part"???
C'mon. deep down inside you know you love him. Marriage is HARD work. it's a big job. you have to, and will have to work at it for the rest of you life.
i've been married to my husband for almost 4 yrs. now. and things are just starting to cool down.
i read those books and they gave me a better perspective on marriage, and a better outlook on married life in general.
Stick w/ it, check out those books. and keep on truckin'!
:0)
2007-04-25 10:38:47 · answer #6 · answered by who cares! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With 3 kids your locked in for now. You could experiment with someone else to see the contrast in feelings secretly.
2007-04-25 10:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to counseling, maybe you are angry about something. Were there any traumatic events that could be causing this stress? Or are you on any medications? Birth control will sometimes cause you to feel angry or overly emotional.
2007-04-25 10:34:48 · answer #8 · answered by wendaylou2 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need some counseling. Sounds like you are harboring some deep resentment toward your husband that you need to work out.
2007-04-25 10:33:16 · answer #9 · answered by Robin C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS AND EVEN THOUGH I AM A MAN I HAVE HAD THE SAME FEELINGS YOU HAVE HAD BUT WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS TO TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL SOMETIMES WE HOLD IN FEELINGS ABOUT SOMETHING OUR SPOUSE AS DONE AND AFTER A WHILE OF NOT TALKING TO THEM ABOUT WE END UP NOT WANTING THEM AROUND OR WE JUST DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEM.I BET IF YOU TALK TO HIM YOU WILL FIND THAT ONCE IT IS OFF YOUR CHEST YOU WILL START WANTING HIM AROUND AGAIN.
2007-04-25 10:39:07 · answer #10 · answered by arb3075 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋