This is a question for currently married or divorced women. I appreciate your responses. Here is the situation: You have 2 men in your life. One is the guy who you are not sure if he can commit to marriage, but you LOVE him so much, you know he is your best friend and maybe soul mate, but sometimes you have doubts if he can commit. But the love and passion is there and you have known him 5 years. He probably will give you stability, but you have doubts. The second is a guy that you dont' have passionate feelings for, or romantic love, but you know he will give you stability in your life and you more or less like him. You have known him for 8 months. Not love, but you get stability with him.
Your heart tells you the guy you really love, your head maybe the guy who will give you stability. Which guy would you choose to marry?
2007-04-25 02:27:59 · 16 answers · asked by robert7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Neither. Wait for a guy who does it all for you; don't settle.
2007-04-25 03:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are answering your own question by the way you are describing both men. The first you say you LOVE so much and he is your best friend and soul mate.Yet the other you say you LIKE not love him and he gives you stability.You have to follow you heart. Maybe guy A is not ready to commit to marriage right now,but that could still change.If I was in your place I would stick with Guy A . If there are no passionate feeling for guy B you don't want to lead him on and marry him just because he is stable and a nice guy. You want someone that will make you heart race and you have true feeling for..Good luck I hope this helps
2007-04-25 10:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by janet s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you marry someone you didn't love? That's not fair to him.
How do you know the other guy won't commit? Maybe he's too young and has other goals right now and marriage isn't one of them.
Marriage doesn't make you popular or any happier than what you are right now. Please stop thinking marriage is a fairy tale and you will live happily ever after.
People change as they age. And maybe someone you are close to at an early age may seem to be all that and a bag of chips, but 10, 15 years down the road that person (and you) will change.
Hold off on the marriage concept for another 5 years or so. You'll see.
2007-04-25 09:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with emotions....the guy that give u stability is only going to be able to give u that STABILITY can u be happy that way dont u need the kisses, hugs and the passion in a relationship. Without any of these things you will only be in a marriage of convenience and in the end will only bring misery.
2007-04-25 09:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take my word for it, from someone who married for stability and not love, it does not last , if there is no passion and no love it becomes like living with your brother, and neither of you will be happy. My ex ended up having an affair, save yourself the hassle and marry for love.
2007-04-25 09:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it would have to be for love and passion,marrying for stability doesnt work,but it might take some time,if you think this guy isnt ready to commit,but is there really a rush to get married,enjoy the relationship for what it is and hopefully things will take there natural course and you will get commitment off him
2007-04-25 09:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would definitely choose guy number one. What is a life together without passion and love. Sounds like you have just gotten in a comfort rut with this guy. The honeymoon phase is gone and new people with prospects of new love is always exciting but don't let it trick you into giving up what you already have.
2007-04-25 09:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by Cash, Gage and Jax's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would only marry for love and passion. Yea, commitment and trust are right up there, but I WOULDN'T marry I guy I only "liked" because eventually, I would grow to NOT like him. I've seen this happen too many times to my friends, thinking they are ready to get married and they don't totally love a guy but say "he treats me really good and I know he loves me" and a year or two later they are regretting it!
2007-04-25 09:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you back and gives stability you should go with him. You're not trusting a guy you've known for so long. He'll give you stability and love. Go with him
2007-04-25 09:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by Drools over home made food 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HOnestly, neither... I know this might sound harsh, but you deserve both stability and love, and neither of those guys can give you both. You need to find someone who can give you both. Trust me there is someone out there.
2007-04-25 11:15:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything yet. Both could surprise you. Stability is only a present thing, but love can conquer all...
2007-04-25 09:38:48 · answer #11 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋