I love her but do not want to leave her.?

Question

She is turning into her mother and I can not take it anymore. I work 40 a week drill once a month and when I fell like having some time to my self away from her and the kids I get the third degree. she thinks for some dumb reason that I go to strip clubs look for some on the side do not pay any attention to her. Mind you that she is a stay home mom we share the house cleaning jobs kids and everything in a relationship. I let he have hertime and space. She has few and I mean very few friends and she gets mad when I fell like seeing mine or talk to the guys about fishing. what the hell is her problem? I need to be me and that aint happening.

Answer 1

She needs to make some friends, she has hooked her star to you and expects you to be with her during all your down time. Suggest she join a group or club so she can meet people.

Answer 2

okay what i see happening here is that she is very insecure about your relationship and herself. Some where along the line she was messed over bad by someone and that is what is causing part of this fear. The other thing is she may have a low self asteem and this too plays a factor. This may be why she doesn't have a lot of friends too. She is afraid of letting people get that close because she is afraid of getting hurt and doesn't really like herself that much so she is clinging to you more. She and you need some counseling that way you both can talk through how you both are feeling and work through it. And also when you two are together let her know the things that she is doing that makes you happy. Tell her she is beautiful, or that you love the way she does little things just for you, or take her out without the kids and rekindle those feelings that caused you both to fall in love. Alot of times couples that have children tend to throw themselves into the roles of just being parents and forget what it is to be lovers with complete intimacy. Holding hands, talking, sharing things with each other. I hope that this helps you out.

Answer 3

She sounds very lonely and her self imposed isolation might be a sign of depression.
It's not fair for her to expect you to be at her beck and call and to entertain her and be her only friend. It's also not healthy. As a stay at home mom, I know how easy it is to isolate yourself, your world shrinks down until it's just your family and if they aren't there you feel like you have nothing!
That may be why she's clingy and suspicious.
I would really recommend counseling for the two of you. A counselor might be able to spot any signs of depression she might have.
She also needs to expand her social circle. Since you help out so much around the house, she should have time to do some volunteer work with grown ups!
If this is hard for you, imagine how the kids feel. During the day, they are her only source of entertainment, her whole life, so to speak.
That puts an enormous amount of pressure on them just like it does on you.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Do what my guy did with his ex-girlfriend, who was just like your wife...hated to let him go out alone, etc. He goes to this little local bar, that is only populated by older people who drink, watch TV and play shuffleboard. She just couldn't stand it because she thought he was meeting some girl. So one time he took her out there with him and did what he normally did: sit at the bar, drink beer, watch baseball and talk with a bunch of men about trucks. She was bored to DEATH after the second time and stopped griping. Show her that nothing goes on.

But if that doesn't work, then she may be the type of jealous woman who just can't get over it. Tell her how you feel, and how it's making you miserable. Suggest that the two of you get counseling, and if she won't go, then it may be time to leave before you DO end up cheating or leaving one day.

Answer 5

I was in her shoes a few months ago. It is not easy to be a stay at home mom. It gets very lonley and its often easy to forget that you are a person. Try doing more romantic things. Make her feel like you really cant wait to be with her. Hold her more, cuddle her more. Call her from work just to say hi. If you make her feel like she is more than a maid/nanny she might not get so angry when you go out with your friends.

Answer 6

She sounds like she needs YOU!

Stop bitching about things. Remember, being a stay at home mom is really hard work. Talking to kids all day doesn't cut it.

Answer 7

maybe see if she wants to work a part time job if that is possible so she can get out and meet new people, or make a date for both of you to just go out together alone for dinner a movie and make it every week so she can look forward to something, and if your friends have wives go out with couples ...

Answer 8

She seems to be very insecure.

I am saying all this providing that you don't go out all the time and that you haven't given her any reason to be insecure.

Talk to her and be straight with her, tell her that you love her and that you just want to go out with your friends.

She is going to have to realize that you both need time apart and time to just go and have fun.

I used to be the same way and I just realized that he was not rejecting me by going out with his friends.

She needs to learn to let go.. easier said then done.

On the other hand, you don't want to lose your marriage over this. You both need to find a way to compromise on this issue.

Answer 9

She is not feeling steady or secure so instead of leaving her you'd better give her the attention she wants from you and convince her. Give her all of your support and encouragement and make her feel nice and she'll stop suspecting you.

Answer 10

Your problems started the moment you said "I do" and then compounded ten fold when the wife started popping out kids. If you're not getting any on the side, you should have your head examined.