His mistress told me things he said?

Question

She has made it a point to make a bad situation worse. It has been a long road to recovery with my hubby, but things have been great! He has truley repented for his mistake a always took full responsibility (although the other woman told me she was very persistent with him until he gave in...he was working hundreds of miles from all family and friends for months...and she workd with the same company) and has told me how stupid and selfish he was. He apologizes all of the time and really makes it a point to show me a lot of love and patienc in my healing process. The problem is the other woman finds a way to contact me every few months to rehash everything and to tell me how much he loved her and how miserable he is with me. She said he told her we had grown apart and was only here for our son who is 10. I gave him every oppurtunity to leave with ample visitation, but he wanted to fix things and go to counseling. She said he was not attracted to me and did not want to have sex ...

with me at all. She claims he could not get enough sex with her that it was everyday while he was away. He claims it was 5-6 times. Is she trying to hurt me or try to get him back somehow. He has told her very firmly that he is where he wants to be and that he loves me, but she says he says that because thats what I want to hear. The affair has been over for over a year. Why does she keep harrassing me?

I am with him because a 12 yr marriage is hard to walk away from and because I love him. Other than this situation, our marriage has been great. She lives 10 hours away so I know they are not together and she blames me for them not being together, said that he feels sorry for me because he thinks I will lose it if he leaves me...lmao....I think she is just nuts.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. My fiance had cheated on me and the girl ended up moving out of state. Well I recently found out that she has moved back and lives in the same town as we do so I know its only a matter of time before we run into each other (so not looking forward to that). My fiance like your husband was pursued by this girl and soon enough weakness kicked in. But he too felt truely sorry for what he did and we worked it out. (we have been together for 6 years so that was hard to walk away from as well) If things are going good between you and your husband then don't let this woman get in the way of that. Ignore her calls. Change your number and don't make it public (ie. put it in the phone book) If you really don't want to change your number call you phone company and ask if there is a way to just block that specific number that she calls you from. If she tries to physically come around you then don't be afraid to call the police and file a restraining order on her. Shes just mad that you and your husband are still together and she is trying to break you down. Don't go down to her level. Good Luck!!

P.S. Don't let anyone put you down for staying with your husband after finding out that he cheated. Some people out there can change! Remember that!

Answer 2

This woman wants your man. She knows that you have a good man and she is hurt that he continues to choose you over her and she can't take it. The first thing I would do is change my number and make it unlisted and if she keeps calling you will then have to wonder how she is getting your number. Okay so after the number change she should have no further contact with you. Yes your husband made a terrible mistake and strayed away but he has shown you that he is sorry for his bad judgment and is doing everything in his power to show you that he loves you and don't want to loose you. If the other woman was all that she say she is then he would be with her but he is with you so let it go. You should have no conversation with her because you two have nothing to talk about. She is just bitter because she was a bootie call and nothing else. He probably did tell her some things he didn't mean to sleep with her but she was the stupid one for having an affair with a married man, so she got exactly what was coming to her. You and your husband need to just forget about her and build your lives around what you have built together and that's a loving family. I know he broke your trust but you can make it, i've seen people do it and their relationships have gotten stronger and don't believe it when people say once a cheater always a cheater because I know men who almost lost their families because of cheating and they did everything they could to save their family and marriage and it worked 20 years later its still working. Good luck to you and this was just a test and you have passed. God bless your marriage and your family.

Answer 3

Well first off, i would not answer her calls or try to the best of my ability to avoid all contact even get a harassment order against her cause thats what she's doing harassing you! And i understand u want to work it out w/ your hubby but be careful maybe he is really sorry, but how does he feel when this woman calls yopu? Maybe u should give him the phone and have him tell her to leave u gusy alone. And no offense but he cheated on you, he should be doing everything u want and treat u like gold!!!!

Answer 4

She keeps doing this because you keep allowing it. Stop talking to this woman. You and your husband are back together and you're working on your marriage. That's great! Next time Miss Lady contacts you, tell her you're not interested and hang up the phone. Don't bother your husband with this either. You're woman enough to handle it yourself. Also, understand that this person may or may not be telling the truth. She's on the outside looking in, so leave her out there and get on with your life. Best wishes!

Answer 5

Why do you answer her phone calls?? Are you sadistic? Why would you want to hear the details when you know she is just trying to hurt you. Hang up on her. Change your number and if it continues get an order of protection of some sort she- is harassing you. She is a nut job and a trouble maker.

Answer 6

The only way you and your husband can continue to build your relationship is to not answer her calls. Either change your phone number..but if she works at the same company as him, it won't be long before she can access your new number.
Sounds like she's regretting the breakup of the two of them.,and wants to cause problems for you and him...DOn't allow that to happen.
You Believe in your husband that he's not having a fling with her.....he has told you he loves you*-obviously this woman is trying to come up with things she knows will get under your skin, like saying he's only with you for your sons sake. DONT pay any attention to her, let her see it isn't bothering you...Perhaps the next time she rings you up to say a bunch of hogwash......when she's finished, thinking she's done what she set out to do....ask her if she has a life? she will be taken aback by this......and say cuz if u did, you'd start living it instead of trying to live my life*.......Best wishes*

Answer 7

Because she wants you to give up on him!!! Do NOT listen to this woman. She wants to end your marriage. Why are you even taking her calls or allowing her to contact you?? Are you afraid she might be telling the truth? If you have made a decision to trust your husband (even though it will come slowly), you need to give it a fair shot.

That means that you will NOT be poisoned by her words. Think about it...if she was really with your husband, do you think she'd need to tell you about it?? She is lonely and resentful that he picked you (which they always do, but she was stupid enough to think it would be different with her).

Do NOT listen to this woman. If you want your husband and your marriage (and that is YOUR decision), work in counseling with him.

Do NOT give this woman a chance to wreck your marriage even more than she already has.

Answer 8

Girl, This woman is nothing more than a tramp! She had him once and thinks she can have him again. Report her to the phone company and block her e-mail address from your computer. I believe he is truly ashamed of his behavior and you two can work through it. It`s hard!!! I would never tell you it isn`t, but if you love him, stay with him. He made a foolish mistake and alot of people wouldn`t agree ( I was one until it happened to me! ) but we all make mistakes that should be forgiven. Get the tramp out of the picture so you can move on with your life. The crap she`s telling you is just that, CRAP.

Answer 9

She obviously still wants to be with your hubby and is trying everything in her power to break up your marriage. it seems your husband is trying to make amends so what you need to do is file a restraining order (depending on the state you live in, phone calls should be enough), change your number, meantime if she continues to call, hang up on her. She's only calling you becauses you continue to listen to what she has to say.... she will eventually get tired and move on... Good Luck.

Answer 10

Sorry but Im a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater...he may be trying to get back to where u guys were before but once things are cool and u trust him again she will still be on the sidelines waiting for him to come back to her. Its just a matter of time. Sorry if this isnt what u wanted to hear but its reality.