masterbating so many times. He always says a lot of `sorry's' and promises and explained different reasons why he does that.. I tried a lot of deals with him,too. If he needs me ,no matter what i`m doing he could grab me, anytime..anywhere. And I told him i loved that..unexpected!
And I`m giving him my best on bed actually .Thats why i always looks good and maintained my figure for him and for myself confidence,too.
I even left him with the kids for this bad habit, so he could realized my worth somehow. But we reconciled again...promises..again..sorry..again.
It lasted for 1mo.and now I caught him again...
Is this reason worth enough to leave him, I mean separation? I was just thinking..kids might suffer. But I feel so dumb with my husband.
2007-04-24 22:15:03 · 41 answers · asked by cHiNaEyEs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your husband is dumb he doesn't see the sexy lady in front of him and rather have sex with you. I had the same problem i wacked off a couple times a week wife and i didn't have sex alot bearly at all but she never caught me thank god but now we have sex and i think i have done it once in the last month so i think you catch him again you should just live together and find a man who would have sex with you and not masturbate.
2007-04-24 23:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by social 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am curious on what his reasons are. The reason is the core of the whole situation. Masturbation is a natural part of our sexuality, from childhood. Does he have magazines or porn tapes? Don't be offended. The only reason I can see you leaving is, if he thinking of the neighbor, your cousin, sister or best friend and acting on it. Then, that is a problem.
Have you thought of participating with him when he is doing it. When my husband does it, I really did'nt like it, because it made me feel less desirable, but when I watch, it turns me on and I am fully into it. Sex is great after. It's like a form of foreplay. Shoot, sometimes when I'm tried, I welcome the fact that he can take care of his self.
Maybe instead of fighting against it, you might want to explore the satisfaction in it. There is no stronger form of intimacy that two can share than the fulfillment of each others fantasies and desires. It keeps the relationship alive.
Does he have a strong sexual appetite? Does he organism? He may be only able to climax through masterbation? Like I said, the reason, is the root to the problem. If you are really available and giving it to him whenever he's craving. Than you have to investigate the reasons.
Definitely not a reason to break up a family unless ALL avenues have been explored and the separation is going to be PERMANENT. The children need stability. Be sure. If you truly love him and this relationship is worth the time and effort, then put forth the time and effort. It's sex and if your needs are being met, it sounds like a good time to me. Put it in prayer. Ask for insight.
2007-05-02 16:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Li 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
China: I see from your other questions that you've been having problems of all kinds with your husband lately. The reason he masturbates, spends time on the internet, and all the rest of it is to get his needs met. That's why we all do what we do.
I'll answer the masturbation question -but what you REALLY need to do is consult with a therapist to root out anything YOU may be doing or not doing that contributes to the problem. The masturbation -like all the other behaviors- is not just a problem in and of itself. Rather, it is a manifestation of other issues.
It is likely that your husband is thinking about something pretty specific when he's servicing himself. Ask him what that is, and be prepared for answers that might not please you -like "the girl next door." If you're lucky, he might be thinking about something in which you could play a part; a leather fantasy, cheerleader, teacher or some other fantasy. As long as its not a harmful or hurtful thing, you're OK. You might also want to consider the idea of joining the fun by "driving" him for awhile, or just sitting across from him, drop your panties and do yourself while you watch each other. There are worse things you could be doing with your time. If you are highly offended by these suggestions or the thought of any of it, then you may have found part of the problem.
All of this assumes you are willing to keep the marriage going. If what you really want is to get out, then forget everything I just said and make your plans for an exit. None of us on Yahoo, however, can give you permission to do so, or tell you it is right or wrong (unless someone's being abused).
In reading your other questions, it does appear to me that you might be building up a case to leave your husband, by seeking support from others. Problem is, those "others," are people who don't know you, and are not in a position to really know what's going on. The decisions are all yours and your thinking will be much better if you consult with someone qualified to help you think it through.
Best wishes.
2007-05-02 04:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by JSGeare 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How often is he masterbating? Is it preventing him from getting through his day? Is he still able to go to work?, and take care of his responsibilities at home? If he's' only doing it like once a day, and he's not neglecting any work or home responsibilities, and still having sex with you, then leave him alone! It seems unfair to tell him that he cant even touch his own body. A bit controlling really . You have a man that is blessed with a healthy sexual appetite. He could be cheating on you, but he's not, he has a strong sexual desire, and he is taking care of it on his own. You shoudl not make him feel bad and guilty about it.
If I were you I would apologize to him for giving hiim such a hard time. If you ever walk in on him gain, say sorry , and leave him alone.
2007-05-01 18:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are creating a problem where there is none. I'm going to make this extremely simple: His body belongs to him and he can touch it whenever he wants to. He does not need your permission, approval or understanding to enjoy his own body.
That fact that you call it "CATCHING" him means that you've attached some sort of judgment to it, and personalized it. It has nothing to do with you. There's nothing wrong with it, except for the fact that his wife has now made it something he has to feel guilty about and apologize for.
Leave the poor man alone! As long as he's still giving you physical attention, you have no right to expect that those encounters whould be all he will ever want again. I suspect your nagging and making him feel guilty for your insecurity makes you less attractive by the day. Get over it. Or sit down and watch him next time. Maybe you'll start to see why he likes it. But you're NEVER, EVER going to make him stop. You'll just make him stop wanting to be around you. Is that really what you want?
Good luck.
2007-04-30 06:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Vix 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The real question for me would be, what is he masturbating TO? If he's just sitting there feeling like a good wanking.... well.... sometimes masturbation is just easier! Could be that he's tired, or fears rejection, or even has performance anxiety. If he's masturbating while sitting in front of the computer though.... then you have to wonder what's going on (and possibly invest in a membership at 007 Spy). As long as there isn't anyone else involved besides himself, I think you should learn to deal with it. If you're unsatisfied or want to know what all the fuss is about, try treating yourself to a nice little toy! You never know; you might discover that masturbation is good for you, too.
2007-05-02 06:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by at work 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so here's a thought for you to chew on for a while. Maybe supposed man has a higher sexual drive than you, so what he rubs one off every now and then, Let him. Would you rather he went out and fulfilled his need with another woman. Gees, don't mean to be mean or anything but truthfully, sex is not the basis for a relationship. At least he's faithfull, one day you will realize this and when you do you probably would have left him long behind and will regret it in the long run. Why? Because faithfull people in this world today are very few and far between and you should concider yourself lucky to have one regardless of his little habbit.
2007-04-30 04:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by calverley79 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are catching at it 5 times a day or a week. If it bothers you so much, maybe you should suggest going to a professional to discuss why he feels the need to do it so much and how you feel when you discover him for the umpteenth time, self gratifying himself. I realize it does feel like he's rejecting you or you feel as if you are not adequate enough, but you both need to discuss this rationally without threats being held over his head. That never works, you can't do it to him, yourself or your children. Don't feel dumb, get active and find someone to talk about it with even if he won't come along. I wish you the best.
2007-05-01 10:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Diane T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't find anything wrong with masturbation. I think that it actually is a turn on when you are included in the acts. Maybe instead of taking the extreme with this issue you could talk to him and see how you could be included in the act.. that is if you are into that.
The other side of that is if he is giving you what you need as well as pleasuring himself.... there are alot of questions I have seen today about cheating and their husband beating them.
I think you should thank him for just masturbating and not any of the other things he could be doing!
Think about that!
Plz be grateful!!! :)
Hope this helps!
2007-05-01 06:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by missgoodgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When u see him again , don't get mad sit with him and ask him how doyou feel when u do with alone? Tell him is something wrong with you that u didn't ell me ? Just like that mature don't get mad bec. it's not the first time to see him like that. Ask him seriously and tell him kids needed us .
I'm here for you,and if he does not tell Just one word again " im just here for you and if u want to talk to me about this i will listen" . And for yourself i know it hard and irritating but he is ur husband look the other side ,it still better that he is not using other woman , right?
Leaving him is not the best solution my dear .. Look the at the best solution for it and tal to him always , change your mood the way make love with him , let him be anxious to do for you.
Help him your both bestfriends right ?
So do the best , don't break marriage..and the reason masterbating ..
2007-04-30 23:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by amwid-u:) 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Masterbating isnt a bad thing. There could be many reasons why he does it and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe it comforts him, maybe it relaxes him. As long as he's still having sex with you, I dont see the problem. If I were you, next time I caught him, I'd strip and join him, no touching, just mutual masterbation. He'll go looking for you next time he wants to masterbate!
2007-05-01 17:08:46 · answer #11 · answered by obladiblada 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋