Are you scared by commitment?

Question

Im a 28 year old male and have had no long term partner. My brother is 30 and already has 3 kids. I could`nt imagine tying myself down like this. Maybe I`m scared of commitment. Does anyone else feel like this or is it just being shallow?

Answer 1

Personally I am more with your brother than you...

But if its the way you feel, you cant be forced to do anything you want, my older brother is like you. Just scared to commit even if he 'loves' her.

You cant be alone forever, its a loney world with only using them for sex...

Answer 2

I'm the first to admit, I'm commitment phobic. The whole idea of spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for years and years, with the same person makes me really twitchy.

I married badly once. I nearly married a second time, years later, to a man who ended up cheating on me. So, I also know that I'm commitment phobic because I don't have confidence in my ability to chose well. I don't trust that I can see people realistically, so now I'm inclined to be cynical about it.

I was passionately in love, and completely "in like" with the almost marriage. If he hadn't cheated on me, I'd have married him. I suspect, other than his issue with honesty, we could have had something really special that would have stood the test of time, and age.

You may find someone, someday, who makes you want to tie yourself down. 28 isn't over the hill. Just keep your mind and heart open to the possibility, and you may find it. You may not.

As long as you're honest with yourself, and others, I don't think you're shallow. There are some people who aren't going to commit themselves to a relationship. If you also find you can't hold a job, or complete anything, than you may have issues. Otherwise, just not having found someone you want to spend your life with, doesn't mean you're shallow.

Answer 3

A lot of people feel like that. I don't think it's necessarily a fear of commitment or shallow. I just don't think that marriage, 2.5 kids and a pet dog named Sparky is for everyone. You need to find your own path in life.

By the way, marriage doesn't always mean buying a house or having children. Personally, I'm not ready for geographical commitment until I'm physically unable to travel and children? Never. My husband and I are in agreement about that.

I do think though that when you date you should make it clear what your intentions are. I said to my husband, "I'm never getting married and I don't believe in romantic love. I just like having you around and yea, the sex is great too." But eventually we decided that we wanted to be together for life. Accidents happen eh? ;) But being honest is important if you want to avoid misleading anyone.

Answer 4

you are clearly just not ready yet for committment... my thing is i like to take life as it comes and not rule anything out! if i meet the girl of my dreams tomorrow and want to settle down then so be it, or if it happens in 10, 20, 30 , 40 years then so be it too! it doesnt matter what your brother does or has done, just be the person you want to be!

Answer 5

ONCE U GET A CERTAIN AGE YOU GET USE TO DOING EVERTHING YOU WAY ITS HARD TO INMAGIN CHANGING ANYTHING FOR SOME ONE ELES BUT TRUST ME TRY NOT TO B SO SELFFISH AND WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT WOMEN NONE OF IT WILL MATTER ALL YOU WILL WANT TO DO IS BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE TO TRUELY LOVE SOME ONE TO WANT TO COMMITTE

Answer 6

im 27, married with 4 kids and love it, your young, your entitled to enjoy yourself!

Answer 7

some people take time to settle, you will know when you are ready, dont rush things because people expect you too. be yourself.

Answer 8

i am married for the second time, but find committment hard

Answer 9

used to be but am ok now..