curious to know....i am married, been cheated on but have always wondered what it was like to be the other woman? how does it feel to know the guy you are with is married? how did you feel when he broke it off with you? do you have any regrets? ever felt guilty about sleeping with someone else's spouse? how did you feel when the other spouse contacted you? i guess i am looking for some answers. anyone's opinion, input? what is it like to know you hurt another person in that way?
2007-04-24 18:23:07 · 14 answers · asked by texastang 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
fyi......i don't ever want to be the other woman. i am just looking for answers from some who have been with a married person. i am curious to know how the other one felt knowing they were having a relationship with someone who was married and then left by that person. i was hurt badly and just wonder how that woman felt when she slept with my husband. thanx!
2007-04-24 18:36:50 · update #1
You're assuming that all of the "other women" fall into the same category. There are multiple women that fall into this group and really the person that hurt you is the one that married you and stepped outside of your marriage. The other woman can be just as hurt as the wife is ultimately. Anyway, here are the various types of women I think fall into this group and what the scenario means.
1) The I Know He's Married and Don't Care women are just that. They don't want to be in a serious relationship with him and aren't concerned about you. He's new and exciting and good for what he provides. She rarely wants more than his time and affection and when it's over it's over.
2) The I Didn't Ask if He was Married women never had a reason to suspect your husband was your husband. He either isn't wearing a ring and doesn't behave like a married man. he's as available to her as any single man would be and she is just as hurt when she finds out what's going on as the wife is.
3) The Also Married women are just looking for something to entertain them and can create more havoc because they seem the most reckless.
and finally
4) The I Know He's Married but His Wife doesn't Understand Him women. Probably like it when you call because that means you know about her and in her mind he's making moves to leave the wife and be with her. Also potential havoc maker but likely the only one to be a challenge to your relationship after she is discovered.
2007-04-24 18:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I made the mistake one time of being "the other woman". I was told they were in the midst of a divorce and they had both moved on. It was kinda true, they had used the word once in a sentence and weren't sleeping together any more. However, no paperwork had been filed.
It was not a good feeling when I found out the total truth. This is why my rule is, unless and until the divorce is final I do not date a guy. Once it's all over, give me a call.
It showed a total lack of integrity on his part, and while I wasn't the cause of their marital problems, I felt badly that I was brought into it. I was essentially used to make her feel bad about herself.
Frankly, my assessment at the end was that they needed to stay married and not torture normal people with their personal drama.
2007-04-24 21:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please keep in mind that the husband is just as guilty as the other woman.
I put myself in a bad situation once. This guy...I was smitten...He wasn't married but lived with someone. We were only friends but he carried on about how unhappy he was and he was going to leave. Then came the horrible stories about the kind of person she was. I was actually convinced and felt sorry for the dude. I told him I wouldn't date someone in a relationship though and told him that if it didn't work out with her to let me know.
To my surprise he left her 2 days later. It was an insane time. The girl lived across the road from me. After he told her he wanted to be with me I was in shock...and I spoke with her for the first time. It was then that I learned that he was the one causing the problems. AND that he had cheated on her several times before. I had no idea...I told the guy to stay away and after a week the girl took him back. This made things even worse and I had to move.
Now there are hoochies out there that just don't care. My guess is they are afraid of committment themselves OR they just love the challenge. Either way it's screwed up.
2007-04-24 19:05:21 · answer #3 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been the mistres AND I was dumped by my husband of 10 years for someone else. Paybacks are a b**ch. We have three kids together.
When I was 19 I was dating a guy who was married. I didnt know he was married until later in the relationship. By that time I was head over heels and they were going through a divorce. It didnt feel any different to me than being with a single guy accept I had been lied to. I should have left becuase she wanted him back and called every time we were together screaming at him. I thought she was crazy but now that I am older and wiser I realize WHY she was crazy. Now I am the screaming wife on the other end of the phone. His now fiance eats it up. I dont understand how anyone can willingly steel a person away from his wife and kids. I used to think of them and their sick reasons all the time and it will make you BITTER. Dont indulge. You are too good for that. Time to move on and find someone who is worth your love and worthy of your trust.
2007-04-24 19:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was "the other woman" without knowing it. My "boyfriend" was cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with me, and I had absolutely no clue. I felt horrible when I found all this out later on, incredibly guilty. I don't know if it was justified, as I had no idea that he was with another woman. When I started to think back on the time I spent with him, there were a few things that I always thought were strange... like how he would always call me from his cell phone and never from home. I am so disgusted by him, and as soon as I found out (through a friend who knew his girlfriend, and saw her pregnant), I cut off contact and have never looked back. I have some major trust issues now, and even though I have the best boyfriend in the world, I still worry that he's going to cheat on me.
2007-04-24 18:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer_lwt 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I've done it accidentally and broke it off as soon as I knew about the wife.
The only time I have ever intentionally did it I didn't feel all that bad. It was a one time thing and it never happened again. It could have but there were other factors and I didn't feel like being caught up in someone else's marriage problems.
I didn't feel like it was wrong the one time because it was just sex. I wasn't trying to take him away from his wife, we were just having fun. There was no love involved and it didn't hurt anyone.
They are still together and happier than ever and I still talk to him sometimes but it's just not like that.
I couldn't say I wouldn't sleep with him again if the circumstances were right but I don't see us having those again.
3a.m. drunken sex in the McDonalds parking lot doesn't happen everyday.
2007-04-24 18:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by liberty5499 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The other women is very jealous of you because most times a husband won't leave his wife. There is a lot of resentment on her part and pain and betrayal on your part. Gotta love "feelings"
2007-04-24 18:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with a married man before , he told me that they were getting a divorce . i was seeing for a long period of time . i started to love him alot and trusted him as he spends alot of time with me in the day and goes to work at night . one day i had a high fever and wanted him to accompany me to e hospital so i called his hand phone but a lady picked up and said he was in the shower . i knew he was at home but when i ask he denied and it didn't take long for her to find out too . she called me and said that she was pregnant with his child and she cried to me , i felt very heart broken , and i questioned him and he answered me " she couldn't give me what i needed , love and time. all she cares about is the children . " i did continue the relationship for a few days but i couldn't sleep or eat , knowing his children would need their father . i learned to let go with alot of tears and pain . But I'm happy as he did get back to his wife and she learn to give him the time and love he needed .
2007-04-24 18:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by BABY GURL 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have never been the other woman, but i think they are selfish and have no morals. i cud never be the other woman, cuz i have too much respect for myself and not only that i have morals and believe in right and wrong....i would never do to another woman what i dont want done to me. i am interested to hear what other people do say though, esp "other women": sorry did not answer ur question.
2007-04-24 18:33:42 · answer #9 · answered by braille 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm a second wife and a number 2 marriage is s***.
2007-04-24 18:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by sheila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋