stupid question????

Question

So i am reading alot of questions about teens becomming pregnat and alot of people will say wait tell your married (witch isnt a bad idea) or i've seen a few times someone saying that it is selfish. i just wanna know why alot of people think its so bad. i have a son i am only 19 but it was my forth prgnancy i miscarried 3 times one at 15 one at 16 and then 17. all 4 times is with the same guy..... were not married but we do live together and are planning on being married at some point. also my sister had a baby when she was 15.....she is the best mom i know. my neice is 7 amost 8 and a very smart well behaved little girl. so i guess my question is just why do you think teen pregnancy is so bad?/or do you think its bad?/how many teen mothers wouldnt change being a mommy for the world?
thanks for helping me understand this

I went to college and really its not that hard. here in calgary mcdolonds woukd pay about 12 dollers an hour but my b/f is makeing 22 dollers an hour.

my mom was thrity five and i dont have a father. so i know how it feels.

freddie i did finish school and finished college....i got honors in my english classes and a 95 percent on my goverment exam...i never spell correcly or do grammer if its not important.......if people can read it who cares.

oh and prolific sometimes haveing two parents isnt the best...believe me i know this.....i dont really even know my father and i am glad i dont because he is nothing but a dunk. so i am happy i dont have a realtionship with him...if you think abuse is okay as long as your married then somethings wrong...so idont think that two parents is always good when one of then is a drunk abuseive ***. and with marriage was adam and eve married????????/ i dont remember my church going over that.

Answer 1

Young person I judge you not, What the bible teaches is that sex is to be shared between a man and a woman after the bond of marriage and there is where I believe many people make the mistake to think that love is all there is. Sex to some teens is a game, to some guys it's a way of saying I am a man cause I scored with so and so. I have even heard of where teens rate each partner as to what they did and how they performed. That is wrong plain and simple. Sex is not a sport or a game for mere pleasure. It's about love and mutual respect. That is why the bible suggests waiting until that wedding night when you can give of yourself that one thing that you have to each other to be the first to partake of the body between husband and wife. I simply believe the Bible is the Inspired Word of God.

Answer 2

Well I Can Definatly Help You Understand This A Bit, Especially Since We're Close To The Same Age. I'm Not Sure Where You Live, But Here In Canada The Teen Pregnancy Rate Is HIGHER Than The Rate Of Students Graduating High School. This Means More People On "Welfare". A Lot Of The Time Teens Are To Irresponsible And Immature To Take Care Of Themselves Let Alone Another Human Being.
I Know A 17 Year Old Girl Who Would Do Crack With Her Toddler And Newborn In The Same Room, Until Someone Told On Her And The Kids Got Taken Away!
There Are A Lot Of Very Responsible Teens Though, Who Like Yourself Don't See The Problem. But Really It Is A Problem.
I'm Like You Though, I've Been With My Boyfriend For 5 Years (I'm Almost 24) And We're Expecting Our First Child In October And We're Not Married Either. .
Congrats On Being On Of The Teen Mom's Who Don't Fit In To The "Unfit" Category!!!!!

Answer 3

I'm 64 years old and worked as a psych RN for over 20 years. A child needs both a mother and a father who love each other and continue to love and live with each other until they die. This usually doesn't happen when a teen girl gets pregnant and isn't married.

A mother can't be a good mother to her child unless she has a good husband that can father the child. There was an idea that started to be promoted back in the 60's and 70's that a child did not need both a mother and a father. Many years later, that idea has been proven false.

A good mother wants the best for her child. So does a good father. I didn't want to father a child before I could provide for one.
You won't want to hear this, but by the time you are 50 y/o you will realize that no teen is mature enough to be a good parent.

The reason that you think a teen can be a good parent is that you don't know enough about life yet. I didn't know what life was all about at your age and neither does anyone else at that age.

Answer 4

Becoming a parent isn't bad. And in your case, you're emotionally equipped to do so. But this is not the case for most teens. My mother had me when she was 18 and my brother when she was 16. SHE WAS NOT READY TO BE A MOTHER. I love her very much and we have a great relationship and sure, she was a mother who did the best with what she had (which wasn't much). We all turned out okay, but she will be the first to admit that she wishes she had us later. And my father did not stick around (many don't) I have never met him. I am 28 years old now and still have not met my father. So, the reason I think teen pregnancies are a generally bad idea is because in many cases the teen in question isn't ready to be a parent. Just because you CAN have a baby doesn't always mean you SHOULD. Hell, there are parents in there 30's who I don't think should have children.

Answer 5

i think the largest problem with young teen pregnancy is that alot of times it just happens and they are not ready and some don't finish getting their high school diplomas. other than that most people just believe that the woman should live her life before she decides to bring in another. really if that is what someone wants by all means. it is disappointing seeing girls that look like they are 12 and are pregnant just because they are still just babies themselves (although they would argue otherwise) and some of these mothers end up resenting their children because they didn't get to experience certain things. i think that once you are 18 and you have a child there really isn't a big deal you are an adult aren't you. i think that people just need to stop judging others especially when they don't know what the other person wants and we should have a supportive community like how we used to. just a reminder that in the old days if you weren't married and a mother at the age of 15 you were looked down upon and now we have a choice to wait until we are older but shouldn't look down on those who choose not to.

Answer 6

I got pregnant when I was 21, and so many people thought it was the worst choice I could make. They said I should have finished school and such. I'll admit that after hearing all that I kind of regreted it. But in the end, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And here I am 16, years later, and I have ten beautiful children and another on the way.

I go back and forth on this, because sometimes I think that our children should finish school and then start a family, but then again, I was younger, (not as young as they are today) but I knew I wanted to be a mother for the rest of my life, and that's what I'm planning to do. Some kids think the same thing and then change their mind, and lets face it, it's not that easy to go back to college when you have two or three young kids.

Answer 7

The teen mothers wouldn't change being a mom I am sure, but the kids are usually the ones that suffer.
My mom was 15 when I was born and 17 when my brother was born. By the time she was 18 she left us. Not every teen mother would do this, but it is far more likely with a younger mother.
Being a parent is very hard, being a teenager is very hard...combine the two and you get the point.
As a single teenager just can not provide a child with as much as a married couple. Not to mention until you have that legal and spiritual commitment from your partner then it is easier for them to walk away.
You go through most of your life being a "student", someones "child" once you graduate or turn 18 your identity changes, and there are various new titles you can have. It takes time to figure out who you are, and when you are a parent you no longer have the chance to explore life as freely. A person needs to find their identity before they can properly help develop the foundation for a young life.
Although a good teenage parent is possible it just isn't the usual...or easy route in life.
Good Luck

Answer 8

I just turned 22 and I have two wonderful little girls.. My husband turned 25 yesterday and we are both so happy that we have children.. We have been together for 5 years and been married for almost 3. For the most part I think people don't like seeing teenagers get pregnant because they think we can't be good parents or we can't afford the babies. Yes, I will admist if you don't have a good job then it will be hard but it can be done. I still do not have a college degree but I did finish high school and plan on going back to school this summer.. And I have been taking classes already at the local college. I honselty don't like seeing teenagers hat are 14 or 15 having a baby because they are still so young but they can still be good parents.

Answer 9

Teen pregnancy doesn't usually turn out good. If the couple is in love then it turns pretty good most of the time. I know a few young girls with babies that should not have them. I got pregnant at 17 and married the father. We had another baby, and we are soooo happy! We are not on any government aid and have a decent two bedroom apartment, good car, we can even afford for me to be a stay at home mom. :) I think we kind of endorse teen pregnancy, but I don't want too. Not everyone is as blessed as us. Sadly. BTW, I'm only 21 now.

Answer 10

i am a teen mom and i would not change it for the world, i had my son a 14 and i love him.my husband now (was boyfriend, there dad)was 16 when we had our son, and yes we were young but we did okay, my husband is in the army, and we have been doing okay for a long time. i say this to all teen moms that it's hard but you can becomes something if you try, i finished school and so did my husband, i start nursing school in the fall we have 2 boys ages 5 years and 6 months. we have a new car, and it's paid for. we were kicked out of the house but we managed we were not on welfare, we did it all on our own. i think if you have a kid young and you take care of it, well you are stonge. i love my kids and my husband we have been together for 5 almost 6 years now.just because somebody is young does not mean we can not take care of our kids. some times young parents do better than ones that wait. so i say if you can handle it they go for it,(i do not mean have sex i mean if your already pregnant)some people think just because we are young we can't do it but i have meet a lot of teen moms who are young and are doing great, the reason some people think we can not do it is because of the young moms who give up there kids.but no body hears about the ones of us that do good,but i think if more people heard about the ones that do good then they might see that not all teen mom/teen pregnancys are bad, good luck to you and your family.

Answer 11

I had my first son at 17, he is now 8. I also have a 3 year old. Though I wouldn't give my boys up for anything, I certainly wouldn't encourage teens to have babies. They don't have the means to support a child on their own, most live with their parents for several years and most don't finish school or go to college. Most aren't ready for the responsibility. My son's father and I are married now but that isn't the case for most young parents. Other people I know who had kids in their teens are no longer together. My husband and I beat the odds...We moved out of my mom's house at 19 and got our first apartment...I have an associate's degree and plan on going back this fall to work towards my bachelor's...my husband has a good job...we now have a house in a nice neighborhood. But most teen parents just aren't responsible enough. A friend of mine had her daughter at 15. The father doesn't pay cs and she had to get a restraining order against him. She still lives at home with her mom, still parties every weekend and still has the same part time job she did in high school! She never finished school or even got her GED. Her daughter is 10 now and she still hasn't gone anywhere with her life, even though her daughter is at school all day so she has plenty of time to work full time or get an education. Unfortunately, her case is alot more common than mine. I would never encourage any teenager to have unprotected sex and have babies so young. If you want to go anywhere in life, its incredibly hard. I love my 2 boys to death, but I won't sugarcoat it, it has been a huge struggle for my husband and I to get to where we are today. We both had to make so many sacrifices and give up so much(friends, freedom, sleep...the list goes on!)Teen pregnancy is so glamourized, but in reality it can be very lonely. Life is filled with so many challenges no matter how old you are when you have kids, so why intentionally bring a child into the world when you are still a child yourself?