This has really nothing to do with my life lol But I just been seeing where alot of females was giving advice to others about leaving if they're spouse or bf/gf was cheating... For the married people.. . I thought marriage was for better or for WORSE?! There is ways to get through most everything that could happen if you truely love the other person. The only way I would leave would be if he would abuse the kids (if I had some) or me otherwise it's part of the worse. But that's just my opinion. I just wanna know how other people feel about this. Preferably people who are over the age of 18...
2007-04-24 17:30:33 · 14 answers · asked by boomboombaby 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 20 and not married... and I have been through boyfriends (now ex's them breaking up with me NOT the other way around) cheating on me.
2007-04-24 17:42:22 · update #1
*raises eyebrow* I said NOT INCLUDING ABUSE!
2007-04-24 17:47:34 · update #2
As far as cheating goes...if I were married (I am engaged and will be married in less than a month), I would consider counseling and trying to make it work IF my spouse was truly sorry and made serious changes. Infidelity is serious and certainly much deeper than just the narrow confines of the phrase "for better or worse"
I see that more better as being the good times...the vacations...the being so happy you could burst at the sight of each other, the births of our children, the victories in work and at home. I see being more related to financial issues, fights over silly insignificant things, or even fights over work and time, and the loss of a child or other loved one which can put horrible strain, but is still worth working through, but infidelity is worse to the extreme. This is when a partner has inserted another person into your relationship. Your partner has given a part of themselves to someone when they VOWED that part to YOU. That is extreme betrayal. If I was simply dating someone, it is the ultimate deal breaker, but because of my vows I would try to work it out...ONCE. If the infidelity continued at any time, I would walk away. Because the marriage I had made vows to defend no longer exists.
2007-04-24 17:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO, anyone who gives the advice to leave someone (not including abuse) should not be listened to. Your relationship is yours. Anyone giving advice is not part of the relationship. The advice giver will not be there to fill the void if you decide to leave the cheating person, either.
Marriage IS for better or worse, but this is based on what the two individuals in the marriage consider "worse". Some people choose to stick things out and work with their partner. Others feel that 1 strike is enough and move on. It depends on each person. There is no overall right or wrong when it comes to matters of the heart. One does what makes one comfortable, if one is true to ones self. Both of the individuals involved in the "mess" should be both true and honest with themselves about themselves and their partner.
2007-04-25 08:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by swilson_lewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it doesn't seem you are over 18. It seems you are a bit more than just naive. Cheating when married is not only in most cases illegal but legal grounds of all cancellation of married vows.
Its called adultery. Which is also considered mental abuse which is just as bad and in most cases worse than physical abuse. and if you will stay through cheating if he hits you why leave? thats worse. You cant pick and choose. If you say better or for worse no matter what the worse is you stay with him or you decide cheating/hidding and so on is what you would lave if he did it. but if u stand better or or worse. cheating or abuse is the worse....you can still get over it right? that is what ur saying.
2007-04-25 00:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by Advice giver 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I stayed with an emotionally abusive spouse because he DIDN'T cheat but being ignored and belittled is bad too. Left after almost 9 years when it turned to constant screaming and even physical abuse a few times.......No communication or willingness to work on the problems things just getting worse...but still he was as far as I know FAITHFUL....
2007-04-25 00:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by JustWant2B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know some people who really don't have a clue about life ask questions they shouldn't bother asking. Let me ask you a question. How would you feel if your hubby came in an was drunk, and desided to beat the living crap out of you. Example : stomping you in the ground with still towed boots so you couldn't walk for nearly 2 weeks beat your face black and blue so you couldn't eat or see or breath for all the pain. Then raped you while he had you knocked uncontiouse then a few days or weeks later you find somethings not right and you go to the doctor and find out you have a std you come home and confronted him about it and he beats you again and accuses you of cheating. Do you think for one minute God wants anyone to make a vow to that. He is about love and know every one makes mistakes and sometimes saying I do is one of them and thank you God you can ask for forgive ness.So untill this is about your life that alot of women do live don't judge or ask questions.
2007-04-25 00:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually cheating on a marriage is in a sense child abuse. If a spouse cheats on his marriage he is cheating on his children as well. They are a part of the family and when a man turns his back on his family to cheat who is he turning his back on? Not just his wife but his children. He is basically saying that his children aren't worth as much as the chippie he is phucking.
2007-04-25 05:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I aren't married but have been together for almost 11yrs and have two kids. We were together for only 3 months when I fell pregnant. We spent the next two yrs in a honeymoon state, 4 yrs after that helping my partner battle a drug addiction, the next 2 yrs crying over affairs result of his drug addiction .
and now I am happy to say that the last 3 yrs have been blissful, sweet, open, understanding and we now encourage each other to be happy, honest and have commen goals.
Also he does his best to make sure my dreams become achieved, not because he is sorry but because he know understands the importance of friendship.
2007-04-25 00:40:44 · answer #7 · answered by sjbcurry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if my husband cheated on me and was not sorry, and continuously cheated- yes i would get out of the marriage. but you are right, marriage is for better or for worse. Jesus himself said to continue to forgive one another. we are only imperfect humans and we make many many mistakes. The best marriages are the ones who try hard to make it work.
definately get out if it is abusive in any sort.
but these days it is too easy to get a divorce and people are too impatient to work at it.
good question
2007-04-25 00:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Lizzie Ann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is clear in the Bible. The three reasons for divorce are infidelity, physical abuse, or if the spouse that leaves is not a believer. I agree, to many people give up to easily.
2007-04-25 00:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by toshiba91280 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
One never knows what they will tolerate until in that position. I said I would never tolerate a cheater yet I stayed married to a habitual cheater for more than 10 years.
Thankfully I woke up one morning and wondered why I still shared a bed with him.
2007-04-25 00:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by Epona Willow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋