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My mom passed away a few weeks ago. I am still not sure how to handle everything. Really, I'm only 21...there were so many things I still wanted to ask. I also work in a retail store that heavily advertises mother's day and supplies many people with the perfect mom's day gift. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to get through this. Any advice would help.

2007-04-24 16:53:57 · 20 answers · asked by LittleKat 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

20 answers

I'm also 21 and just lost my dad to cancer last month. I would still celebrate it. take flowers to your moms grave and maybe go out to eat in her honor. Just honor your mom that day. Think about good memories you have of her. thats what i plan to do on fathers day

2007-04-24 16:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

Dear Lesbo, You don't say how old your kids are, but if the ingrates are old enough to complain, they're old enough to work. Trust me, after a week of 12 to 14 hour days they are going to appreciate the weekend time at home cleaning up the beer cans and cigarette butts. Once you give them their 10% of the money they earned, they can go out and have a great time. The extra money you keep can go for special things, like wine in a box. You didn't say if your kids were boys or girls, but the girls can also get work at night doing, well, doing what girls do best. Who knows, they might even find a husband and you won't have to worry about the little scamps any more. There are certain parts of town where the boys could work uh not saying anything, just you know, something to keep in the back of your mind. Your friend, Papa

2016-05-18 01:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

I am so sorry about your loss! You are only 21....wow I was 23 when my mom died, many years ago. The only way I know of to 'get through' it is to keep going... You work in retail and it really pushes Mother's Day? Well go all out on displays and helping people find that 'perfect' gift and make it as a tribute to your own mom. Think of how much she loved you, and how proud of you she was. I was a nurse(not yet graduated) when my Mom died, so it was difficult to help other sick people...but I just thought of how I would have treated my Mom, and I got through. I still miss her very much, not one day goes by without thinking about her; in fact, she is still so much in my mind that when I hear some exciting news, or have a question only she can answer...I pick up the phone to call her!!
Don't get me wrong...it's going to be very difficult...but if people see you tearing up it's okay, she was a very important person in your life, and it will take time. If you have brothers and/or sisters, aunts/uncles and so on, get together with them and talk about your Mom. Maybe even go through pics you have of your Mom and making a scrapbook for your memories. Some memories could even just be stories without pics. Have fun with it and invite your relatives to bring pics and stories and you can all 'Heal' together.
Maybe have a talk with your boss at work and just explain that you don't know if you will be able to handle the next few weeks, so if you seem to be having a bad day, to please bear with you.

I don't know what else to say, except that it takes time, and I don't know if it will help, but I am here to ask questions too if you would like. Just e-mail me and I will help you out as much as I can, and if I don't know the answer right away...I'll search til I find it for you.

May You Have Angels beside You

Momma P

2007-04-24 17:09:09 · answer #3 · answered by Momma P 5 · 0 0

yoo-hoo and rum..... no, well I would get together with your family and family friends and celebrate your mothers life. have a barbeque. take advantage of the bleak situation and ask other people the same questions you would have asked your mother. do some research on your family tree, see where everyone originated from. i know that it is still pretty recent, but use it as a platform to do things you only wished you could do or ask. become closer with your siblings if you have them and do things in memory of your mom with them. dont stop living. stay out of the house. maybe go to church if your religious and see what theyre helping out in your community and volunteer. also, dont be ashamed to go and talk to a professional therapist about what you are going thru. they are only there to help. with your job, unless you are the manager of the store, quit. find another job that pays more and you like doing. i hope that i have given you some ideas, and you are able to overcome this.

2007-04-24 17:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by usacelticfcsupporter 2 · 0 0

My heart goes out to you. I lost my mom last february to Cancer so i know how it is. ... Mother's Day, birthdays & Christmas. It's tough to get through believe me. You just have to get through it. Do you have any female relatives you can talk to? That does help, i have an aunt (mom's 'baby' sister who i go to whenever i need to talk.

Working in a retail store with mothers day advertisements isn't helping is it - and i bet you're getting questions about what to get 'mom' for mothers day. The best thing to do is just take deep breaths and just get through it and at the end of the day, when you're at home just let out all your frustrations - to a pilllow that is, not a person.

2007-04-26 08:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by morrigansstar 3 · 0 0

If you have any siblings, go out to dinner with them and their families. Each one of you should write your favorite memories down on paper. You would be surprised at how many of them you forgot. Put them into a book (scrap book style) along with some pictures. Also, write down traditions that you had with her. Leave room in the book to add to it. Then, as you have kids and the families grow, add your own memories so your kids can have something to read at their first mother's day without you. Let your co workers know how difficult this mothers day is for you and then they will understand when you are in the back crying. It is okay to cry. Just remember, that they way people live on is by carrying on their positive attributes in our lives. Don't let people tell you to get over it. Tell them you will when you are ready. My father died two weeks after getting fitted for a tux for my wedding. It was all I could do not to breakdown crying when my brother had to give me away instead. I still cry to this day occasionally, but they are a lot fewer and for a shorter duration. You will never truely "get over it" you will just learn how to manage it and to allow her to shine through you to keep her memory alive.

2007-04-24 17:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by buttrfly52 4 · 0 0

I'm so sorry. I went through this a few years ago, so while I can't claim to know how you feel, I certainly understand.
The first year is by far the hardest. I went to a wholesale florist and bought 3 dozen pink carnations and took them to a nursing home, where I gave one to every little old lady there. I spent the rest of the day sitting and talking to the ladies who had no one come to visit them on the special day.
I've always found the best way to ease my own pain was to try to ease someone else's.
Hope this helps a little.

2007-04-24 17:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by Alice K 7 · 2 0

My dad passed away nearly 4 years ago from cancer. To survive Mother's day try to surround yourself with people that knew her that you can talk to about her and share your feelings. Try to remember the good/fun times with her. I know that it is so hard right now. People told me when my dad died that it would get easier. The truth is--yes it does. I still miss him so very much, but as time has gone by I am able to think of the happy times more often instead of dwelling on the fact that he is not with me here on earth anymore. Hang in there! Take care.

2007-04-24 17:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Kim 2 · 2 0

You can have a memorial service every mother's day and talk about how great of a person she was. My best friend just lost her mom a few weeks ago as well. So it's only her, her dad, and 9 brothers and sisters.

2007-04-25 14:29:34 · answer #9 · answered by Girls Rock Too! 3 · 0 0

Take the day off!!!!!!!Celebrate her! Do as many wonderful things that you can to remember how fantastic she was and Honor her as a mum. This will become your time to really let you self go as the years pass to put energy into a relationship that although does not exist in the physical does in the emotional and if your spiritual then that too. celebrate remember Honor and probably really have a lot of crying to do. Good beautiful open hearted i miss you and i love you mum crying! But go somewhere and make it really special......... about her. Write down all those things you wanted to ask her and give it to your daughter one day.Or light a fire and after you write them down burn them and let it go.Make it ceremonial.

2007-04-24 17:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by bella 2 · 0 0

You can still honour your mum taking flowers to the grave andspending the day in respect with family.I know that its painful.I lost my mum 2 years ago and it is still painful. For what do the dead want from us?A sacrifice of our lives?No.I think theyask of us to go on celebrating the rhythms of life, but now in a special way. A Grace Unfolding.It must be hard working in a shop surrounded by mothersday gifts.

2007-04-24 17:22:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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