What are the effects of child molestation?

Question

My brother just told me something quite disturbing. My aunt is schizophrenic and he told me when he was around 8 years old she told him about her first sexual experience in somewhat graphic detail. Later on, at around 11 or 12 years old he can't remember she used to fondle him down there if you catch my drift. In the midst of puberty he admitted to me he felt sexual attraction towards her and often fantasized about it and he felt she reciprocated his feelings..which isn't surprising based on how she acted before. He claims they never actually did anything, but he feels super guilty that the thought even crossed his mind back then. He said he doesn't know what happened but now he feels dirty and disgusting and he hates himself. He even talked about suicide which scares me. It's like he can't live with himself. He keeps saying its his fault because he felt it. Is this true? What can I tell him? When I found out I ratted my aunt out to my mom and of course she denies any wrong behavior.

Answer 1

Refer your brother to mental health counselor who is a specialist in sexual assault counseling for victims.

His symptoms are fairly common and can be resolved.

In many areas, there is free counseling (paid for through grants) for victims and the counselors are well trained.

I am not surprised your creepy aunt denied it; unless they have wires tapped to them, sex offenders lie and deny.

Answer 2

Being sexually abused increases the liklihood of severe mental illness dramatically. It's very possible that your aunt was abused when she was young, and that was the trauma that caused the schizophrenia to develop (I AM NOT excusing what she did!!!)

I did a lot of research on this topic since I was sexually abused for many years and am also bipolar and it really is important that your brother get counseling. It doesn't matter if the abuser admits what they did, they rarely do. Make sure she isn't around any kids, tho.

All the best to you and your brother!! He should remember, he was a kid, she was the adult. Molesters groom their child victims, which she clearly did by telling him stuff when he was 8, then ratcheting it up, later. Just because he thinks good now doesn't mean he was able to stand up to her when he was a kid.

PS what mike j said about developing a mental illness to avoid the pain of abuse-that's not right. Bipolar mixed moods hurts even MORE than the abuse self-hatred/shame etc. It's just more piled on more.

Answer 3

It's not his fault. It's her fault, and his guardians fault for letting him be exposed to someone-even family-who was that mentally disturbed at such a young age. Victem's of Child molestation often grow to feel disgusted with themselves, angry, and often they become suicidal. They blame themselves for what happened those many years ago, and often withdraw from people as a whole to prevent it from happening again. It's very disturbing when something like that happens-and it causes confusion, but it isn't the victems fault. It's extremely difficult to deal with, and it takes strength and support. I wish you all the best of luck on this journey, and your brother is very lucky to have you there for him and to talk to and support him.

Answer 4

Understand it or not, any sexual situation that a child experiences can be DEVASTATING. Children are simply not ready to process sexual things and so you must take your brother's words as truth and get him counseling help right away!

I mean before it is too late. Do it now.
Best wishes to you and him.

Answer 5

He needs to realize that it isn't his fault if his aunt approached him. He needs to know that she was a very (mentally) sick woman and was the one who put those thoughts in his mind. If it eats away at him, he needs to confront her and tell her how he feels (about what she did.) If things go wrong, it's best that he go to a psychiatrist for medication and stays as far away from your aunt as possible.