Okay need help on when to call it quits?

Question

22 years together married, and now she thinks of me as a friend/roomate and needs time to think on weather or not she wants to stay married. I am soooo hurt & upset.

Answer 1

now

Answer 2

What are your feelings toward your wife? Do you feel the same way you did before? I think you should have a heart to heart conversation with your wife and ask her what it is that will make her happy again. Counseling is worth a try since you've spent a good part of your lives together. Marriage is supposed to be forever. Giving up is the last resort.

I am sorry you are hurt and upset but you need to find out what will keep you two together. Remember for better or for worse.

Answer 3

I'm so hurt to read this. In 22 years, she now want you as a roommate. Well this is what you do. Buy the food only you will fix for your self, Pay only half of the bills, do not let her rely on you for anything, and when she goes to talk about THINKING about being your wife, tell her you really don't have time to listen. Do things outside the home, never ever let her keep track of you, and ask her will she be getting her own place to sta?, because this is the marital home and you are not the one that broke vows. have you thought about... that she maybe seeing someone else?

Answer 4

Both of you need marriage counseling.......it couldn't hurt to try since you sill love her. Find out what is bothering her and maybe she will work it out. People allow themselves to get in a rut....you may need to do something exciting and new. Try to get away together and discover things to enjoy. She may want more attention from you and would like for you to be more romantic. Maybe she feels that she is being taken for granted and wants more communication. Do you watch TV to much? Do something different.....shower shave and clean up nice for her.....put on colonge ...women love that! Then take her out for diner. For no reason at all pick her up a nice card that says I love you, and buy her a red rose. Take an intrest in what is going on in her life and the things that are important to her. Women love romance at every age especially when we have been married for over 20 yrs. Tell her how beautifull she is.As women get older they still need to know that we are special in your life. Start dating again ......do things you used to do when your relationship was young and bring some excitement back. Don't let your lives become stale and old take charge and do something. Bring back the feelings and make your love alive!! Good Luck Sweetie.

Answer 5

Well, what did you stop doing? Good grooming, good manners, gentle acts of affection, did you stop growing as a person?

I don't mean to put this all on you (and I wish women's advice columns would give this kind of advice to women too), but you can only work on yourself, so here it goes....

Join a gym if you need to workout more (if she divorces you, being in better shape will help you with your confidence in the crazy world of dating anyway), watch old Cary Grant movies if you need a role model in how to behave like a confident, fun gentleman, start thinking positive (that's good for drawing all kind of good folks into your life eventually), treat people with respect generally and especially treat them with the respect they've earned, and if somebody disrespects you, let them know about it (you can make a joke out of it and chide them if you want to keep them from getting too defensive), never lie, cheat, steal, stop smoking, quit drinking, find a new hobby, join a volunteer group, expand your personal circle... just in case you can't win her back... because that doesn't happen more than it happens.

Unfortunately, you have a cleanup job on your hands, and you haven't given enough details to do a post-mortem that would tell us where you went astray, but either your wife doesn't know how special she is to you, or you stopped being the confident, affectionate male she married, or you just got plain boring in general.

Not that it's all your fault or anything. She's gotta role in all of this, so don't beat yourself up. Just get busy working on making yourself better.

Answer 6

First of all, why does she want to call it quits?

Have you talked to her about what her problem is with the marriage? You see, you need to ask her these questions, otherwise, you will not know what exactly is happening with her. Could it be possible that she has found someone else?

Find out what the problem is. She might just be looking for a way out so she can be single again.

Do consider in reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."

Answer 7

Oh Bless your heart. I am truly sorry. I just want to say I am sorry. 22 years is a long time but this is for you two to talk about may be with help from a proffesinaly and I wish you the best.

Answer 8

You've shared the past 22 years together...that's a really long time! Have you asked her to work it out, maybe try some counseling?

Good luck to you. Hang in there and don't give up yet.

Answer 9

when was the last time you two went out on a romantic date
when was teh last time you rented a hotel room for something more then sleeping
when did you bring roses last
when did you treat your wife like a lover

Answer 10

she has found someone else that is interested in her..next she will ask for trial separation, which means she is taking her relationship with him to the next level but doesn't have a clear conscience to do so when married

Answer 11

22years,, what gone wrong,,, get her to couselling maybe able to work things out good luck mate .........