My wife is divorcing me but...?

Question

I don't want the divorce. She has made it clear that she is with another man and will not come back to me. I have a feeling that this relationship that she is in will not last just because of what some of our mutual friends are telling me she has said. Should I just give her space and wait for her to come back to her senses? I have already told her that if she ever changes her mind that we can work on things. I truly love her and always will. So what do you say give her space and wait or try to move on?

Answer 1

As a recently divorced female. Give her some space right now and see what happens. It could be she is doing that to hurt you or make you jealous. We women tend to do stupid things like that. Just continue to support her no matter what. If it gets to the point where she seems to keep getting further and further away, then I would suggest to leave it alone and go on separate ways. I am sorry to hear about your marriage and don't wish divorce on anyone. Good luck. I will keep you and her in my prayers.

Answer 2

honestly, move on and give her some space. I saw this pattern with my mother and father when i was a teenager my sennior year. It is not good for either of you if you try and try and she doesn't do the same. It only hurts you more. If she truely loves you then she will come back to you. However you need to be happy also, and seeing her with some other dude is going to hurt you. Every time you try and she shoots you down it makes it worse on you. I know you do not want a divorce, that's one of the hardest things in someones life to go through, but you never know someone that is tuely ment for you is still out there waiting....you never know it really could be your wife she just doesn't see it right now.

Answer 3

You know what? You sound like an amazing guy. I think you should move on, you deserve to. Its ok to still love her, but dont waste yourself waiting for something that may not even happen. You are prolly not that old, kind and caring, with lots of love to give, any other girl would die for that:)
This isnt to say that maybe later on down the road she does come to her senses (I hope she does) and wants you back, by all means, if you think she deserves a second chance, give it to her! (I personally wouldnt) But life's too short to wait around for people, make a new history with someone else that will love you the way you wanna be love.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't make it easy on her to walk away. Look at the things that are leading her into another man's arms. Think of the things that you have control over and exercise that control.

Yes give her the space, but not to run into his arms. Make sure to tell her how much you love her. Do as much household cleaning chores as you can possibly handle. When she is around, turn off the tv and look at her while she talks (or rambles on and on about how she wants a divorce.)

Don't buck her about her relationship. Let her know if this is what she needs now, that you will support it, but only to give her time to come back.

In the mean time plan as many trips, events, evenings and dates as possible with people that make it nearly impossible for her to deny you. Grandparents, parents, childrens school teachers. Plan work related events that "you need her to attend - just for work," and plan dates with friends that know you both as a couple and have interracted as a couple. Ask her to take up a hobby with you - playing tennis or something that involves fun. (By the way - she should be objecting, telling you she doesn't care, so what I still want a divorce. Expect it, listen to her sympathetically then CLOSE her on attending that event.)

Make sure the plans are with friends or family members who do NOT know she is having an affair so she can not act like her marriage is failing. Do this so she HAS to play the role as the wife.

Do not EVER bad mouth, put down or question her about her relationship and pour on the love. Buy her flowers, cards ask her to talk. If she declines, say okay. Take the time to visit a counselor and let her know that you are going to work on YOU - and learning how you can be a better husband.

IT WILL WORK! The man she is with might make her feel better, but he does not have the time and history that you do. You will always feel uneasy and insecure, but you better believe that every time you do something overly nice for her - she might bauk at it, but it WILL make her new man insecure. You better believe that she might want him, but she will have to acknowledge your efforts.

Lastly - call her for assistance, help, calls, appointments - anything that you can do to KEEP her home.

I know all of this because this is what has kept me home :)

Answer 5

I'd let go and begin the healing process. No matter how much you love someone, if they don't love you..it's mute point. That she is involved with another person should speak volumes. Either she is flighty and will change her mind, or she is happy and will stay with this new person. Either way, it is not being fair to yourself to put yourself on the back burner waiting for her to come around. It hurts now and may for a while, but in time you will probably find someone more suited to you. I wish you all the luck in wahtever you decide.

Answer 6

Being that divorced wife, I would say you should back off. I mean even if it is not that guy, it won't be you. If it was you she wouldn't be with that guy. My ex loved me for the longest time when we were going through our divorce, and it took being an entire country apart for him to move on, but when I made up my mind that I didn't want him there wasn't any changing of it going to happen. Hope that helps even if it isn't what you wanted to hear.

Answer 7

Is this man the reason for the divorce? Or was there another reason and then she met him? It would really depend on that. Perhaps you should sit down and talk with her about what was missing and see if you can straighten it out. Give her as much time as you are willing, but don't let her be your focus. Enjoy things in life as much as you can so you don't sink into a depression any deeper.

Answer 8

This is not spam, i am only trying to share something that has helped me in a similar (well, sort of) situation. I feel for you and your pain. You are not alone.

go to mortfertel.com and check out the free advice, testimonials, and for your situation - the lone ranger track.

i think, even if it doesn't help you save your marriage, will give you a lot of comfort and open your eyes to a lot of things that might help you in your next relationship.

i haven't bought the program yet, just benefiting from the free advice - at least until payday...

just check it out. it is the only marriage help site that I have found that seemed to make any sense to me.

before you decide to give her space or decide to try to move on, check this site out.

Answer 9

Give her space? Face the facts, shes getting F**ked by another man. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it's the truth. She broke the wedding vows, she turned on you, she's gone. It's time to accept that and move on. I wish you luck but for Gods sake don't take her back. She did it once and she'll do it again. If she does come back it won't be because she came to her senses, it'll be because her boyfriend did what he wanted to her then dumped her.

Answer 10

Give her space and let her sort out her feelings. But do not wait on her. Go on with your life. That does not mean get involved with someone else. That means do not wait to take a vacation because she might want to go with you to that place one day. Or you should not change something in the house because when she returns she might not like it. Move on and pray that God will restore your marriage. In the meantime, ask yourself if you can be with someone who has lost respect for herself and you.