I feel bad about it...should I have told him?

Question

My sister told me in some what confidance that she has been doing drugs (harder drugs than your typical pot). Well, I told my husband. I just couldn't believe she is doing it!! I'm really hurt by it...for her. i know she is a beautiful girl and has so much potential...it hurts to think she is destroying her life...Was it wrong for me to tell my husband? Aside from the possiblity of him looking at her any different because hes' just not that type of guy. I feel like I betrayed her...although I wasn't the only one she had told...but I;m sure she wouldn't want me blabbing something like this all over... I would never talk to anyone else about it...

are you freakin kiding me "LIZ" Calling me stupid for asking a simple goddman question? Who the F%$# you think you are...Never had a question in your life huh? Lets see what kind of questions you asked this lovely crowd of people before....don't be making yourself out to be all high and mighty, Cuz youre not! Youre just like every other person on this forum...looking for other peoples OPPINIONS! thanks to all those people who really made me feel better...it hurts to know this about my sister and If I cn talk to someone else to TRY and help her and to help me find the right words to express to her.....thanks everyone really!

Answer 1

Don't husbands and wives usually discuss things? I know my husband and I do. You didn't blab it all over. You only told your husband. Had you gone up and down the neighborhood telling anyone who would listen or gone on national TV, that would have been not only betraying her but making her business public.

You didn't do that. There is nothing wrong with asking others for advice and help. Sometimes someone who is not directly involved can be more objective. They have the advantage of being able to take a step back and looking at the situation from all angles.

Your sister definitely needs help. Keep in mind though that you can only help her IF she wants to be helped. Drugs, like any other habit, can only be kicked if the individual ready and willing to give it up. Talk to her. Tell her your concerns and let her know you love her and only want what's best for her. Hopefully she will agree to get the help she needs to quit and stay sober. The rest is up to her. Be there for her. Good luck. I wish you and her all the best

Answer 2

Sharing something that was told to you in confidence is not a good idea with very few exceptions. This case is one of those exceptions.

So what are you going to do to help your sister? That is the true question here. If you feel bad about telling your husband then you have answered your question. Yes, it was a bad thing to do, but it would be even worse if the two of you sat there and watched your sister destroy her live.

You can elect to do nothing, therefore making the problem worse. Or you can chose to stage an intervention to try and get her some help and put her into a drug treatment program.

Legally, you have the law backing you on this one. If you know of a crime that is being planned or is in progress then it is your legal duty to report that crime to the proper authorities. Another words you need to report your sister to the police. Which is probably the last thing that your family wants to do, I know it would be for mine. Instead you need to get your sister into a drug treatment center to cure her of her addiction. If you do not then you will be only destroying her life. You know about the problem, and it is now your responsibility to do something about it.

Answer 3

I'm thinking the reason your sister told you, and some others, is that was her way of crying out for help. People do drugs to numb themselves from pain. Most people do not go around telling people they are doing drugs so the fact that she did this should be a tip off that she is waiting for someone to step up to the plate and help her before things truly get out of control.

Answer 4

I don't think confiding in your husband constitutes as "blabbing something like this all over". I don't think it was wrong for you to talk to your husband, and maybe by telling him, you two could put your heads together and brainstorm some way to help your sister (if she wants help, and maybe she does because she came to you about her using drugs). Good luck.

Answer 5

Its a huge thing to find out this kind of information. Your husband is your mate....your best friend....and you need to talk it over with someone and he is the obvious choice. You are not blabbing, you are trying to sort this information out. If you keep it inside you would probably go mad. Husband's and wives discuss things....things that make them happy, things that make them sad....that's how it is supposed to be. If your sister doesnt understand the role your husband plays, then thats her problem.....she should have expected you to discuss it with your husband anyway. I have no secrets from my partner and I need to discuss things with him that bother me. A problem shared is a problem halved. You did the right thing and your sister needs to understand that your husband is your lifetime mate and you discuss everything together....that is how it is supposed to be.

Answer 6

well, you chose your husband for a mate and if you cannot tell him things then the marriage is for naught.
i think it is wonderful that you can share things that concern you with your husband...it is not like you have taken out an ad in the local paper stating that she has done drugs...
maybe your husband can help you get her some help, maybe he will understand you better when you are feeling down...

Answer 7

No, it is good that you told your husband - she needs help. I tell my husband everything - sometimes he has insight that I didn't think of before. It's not like your husband is going to call her and demean her from now on in front of her face. I would think he'd have the decency to respond in a mature fashion.

Answer 8

I think it's wonderful!!! You confide in your husband. You two are one information should be shared. Its the the best thing to do. Your husband may have some helpful advise.

Answer 9

You didn't tell your husband because your a bad person, you told him out of the concern for your sister, its normal ,you love your sister and your worried, who better than your husband to give you his support?

Answer 10

How much do you love your sister? Do you want to see her die of an overdose?

You should do something that she won't do, and that is stop her before she loses something that can't be replaced. Don't give her the choice. Time to make a tough love decision, sis.