My boyfriend is really aggresive. If he is asked what kind of person he is, he states that he is a jerk. He has done a lot for me and my children, but he is very mean. He puts me down all of the time and he makes me feel that I am not worth anything. I know that I am not repulsing. Believe it or not, I look a lot like Gretchen Wilson crossed with Sandra Bullock. I tend bar and have a large following. I have done everything for this man, believe me, I am to embarrassed to give specifics, but I do mean everything. I just need a friend to talk too. I am not sure that anyone cares, and I have no clue how this works. I really want to do the right thing. As I said, he has done a lot, am I being selfish?
2007-04-24 14:14:16 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, you're not being selfish. Even if he's helped you and been nice to your children, there's no need for him to make you feel so rotten. If you stay with him, you're showing that you're insecure, and he'll feed from that. Even though your situation seems complicated, it doesn't look like your relationship will blossom into anything meaningful. Your children will be taught by your actions. Keep in mind that you'll always be a role model to them. If you continue to take crap from this guy, then as they mature they'll think it's ok to treat others the same way; or think it's ok to be treated poorly.
2007-04-24 14:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by ezpaced 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not being selfish. Never let him put you down . I think it's time to walk away from him. Love is brimming with respect, kindness towards each other. By the sounds of it you have given more than you received. Do you want your children to grow up with him as a role model? Hold your head high and end this , I can't even call it a relationship but it is a travesty. No human should live their lives in fear of another. This is not love it's called co-dependency. Go to counseling do all that you can to put this man out of your life before he inflicts anymore pain on you and your children. I wish you all the best.
2007-04-24 14:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by lucyshines49 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you being selfish if this guy knows he's a jerk & doesn't give you any respect? If anything, you're being selfless for dealing w/ his ways & behavior. That's fine & good that he's done alot for you & your kids & you've done alot for him as well, but the real question is: When is enough, enough? I mean, why should you have to deal w/ his lack of respect because he's done so much for you? There has to be some changes made in order for your relationship to work...that's my 2 1/2 cents...
2007-04-24 14:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living in an emotionally abusive relationship, and you have been brainwashed by your abuser to believe that you don't deserve anything better. The fact that you define yourself by the way you look proves that more than anything else. I would recommend breaking off all contact with him, followed by some professional counselling to explore why you allowed yourself to be treated like a doormat in the first place. You want to sort this out soon, as it's not what you should be teaching your children, trust me.
2007-04-24 14:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he thinks that if he does a lot for you, he can treat you like crap? Leave him. If the verbal abuse is not enough, you could stick around and wait for him to start hitting you, or even your kids. Do you want him to start talking to your children the way he talks to you? Do you want your kids to think that it's OK to treat or be treated this way? These are things you have to think about.
You've stated you're not ugly. You are generous. You work. You're a mom. Leave him, focus on you and your kids, and the right man will come to you when it's time. Good luck.
2007-04-24 14:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by melissa_53105 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, as a single (I'm assuming?) mom, you deserve to be treated like a special and lovely woman! It probably feels like you owe something to him, but maybe just stop accepting his help. Or talk to him about the way he treats you. If it ever gets abusive at all, you need to get out and go to the police. Not all abuse is physical tho, he is emotionally and mentally abusing you but putting you down. It is wonderful that you are strong enough to know that you are still a great woman no matter what he says. God's blessings to you and your children!
2007-04-24 14:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's "done a lot" all right--put you down, make you feel worthless....Time to kick the SOB to the curb, honey. You're better than that, and you KNOW it----no man is worth YOUR tears!
Somewhere out there, there's a good guy waiting for you----and if you think you "love" this creep--just remember this----your relationship with HIM is a role model for what your kids will think a "good" relationship is.....Your daughters will seek out a man just like him....your sons will BECOME him.....Do you really want that to happen?
Think about it. Time to dump him.
2007-04-24 14:19:12 · answer #7 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have children, you owe it to them FIRST not to be involved with an abusive man. If he is putting you down and is mean, he is controlling, and it is abuse. You will show your children that it is okay to abuse or be abused. That is the right thing for now. Later, I would suggest some self analysis to ask yourself why you would even consider it selfish to want to be treated decently. Best of luck.
2007-04-24 14:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by gahrahstah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he worth the while? You shouldn't have to be put down all the time just because he's an ******. I suggest you talk to him about his attitude. If nothing changes, and your not happy, you need to leave that relashionship. I hope everything goes okay and he gets his priorities straight or you find someone better. Good luck.
2007-04-24 14:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by sencesfail2424 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO way are you being selfish... your feeling just like any other girl would feel.. if my boyfriend was saying to me your ugly, fat or whatever he calls you all the time.. i would leave his ***.. thats not right.. no one likes to be put down.. and you should stand up for yourself and leave... yeah hes done lots of things for your family but he doesnt deserve you guys
2007-04-24 14:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋