this is my poem and i wanna kno what u think.
As my tears fall down
like atumn leaves
deep inside
my soul grieves
As the clouds roll by
and time goes on
I wonder when the sun will rise
and the sunlight shall dawn
I feel so cold
like mid-winter snow
I miss the Spring
and watching the flowers grow
I kno not when the weather changed
or why it happened this way
All i have to hope for
Is the sunlight bringing a new day
2007-04-24 14:10:53 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
That's really great! Just work a little on the rhythm.
2007-04-24 14:17:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, sounds a sad poem about hope. you may rethink the imagery such as "my tears fall down
like atumn leaves" tears dropping? and spelling of autumn.
It may be fashionable but I'd prefer "know" to "kno".
Overall I think you have ample potential to compose very moving poems! well done.
*
2007-04-25 10:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
on a scale of 1 -10 (and 10 being good) i would say and good
solid 9 to 9,5 .
2007-04-27 11:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by atlantismeditation@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋